Day 101, Desert Compound, Egypt

I finally got those posted!!! YAY!! I haven't had internet access for a few weeks now, but I wrote some blog letters for you guys during that time. I posted three or four new blogs all at once, so be sure to read back a few. I will try to go back and put in some pictures of some of the things I was talking about, like the metal witchcraft charms and pictures of the mountain and such.

We are back from Luxor Egypt (ancient city of Thebes) where the Valley of the Kings is located. After a 17 hour van ride through the desert we are finally away from the spiritual heaviness that the area bombarded us with constantly. We are safely back at the desert compound now. We will stay here for New Years and possibly go do some ministry is Alexandria along the Mediterrainian sea. We just arrived last night and its our first morning time here so I dont have a whole lot to say so far that I haven't told you about in the last three blogs I just posted. I just wanted to let ya know why three of them got posted at once. Because I wasn't constantly updating my letters to you, I may have missed some things that we did, so during the next couple of days I will probably be jumping back over the last few weeks as I remember things I want to share. I love ya guys and think about you often. I hope to hear from you all soon. I have only heard from Mallory Gliko and my parents for the last 2 weeks, so update me on whats going on back home in your lives.

Day 99, Luxor, Egypt

Our time here in Luxor is almost done. We have been around the city quite a bit. This week we did many prayer walks around the city. I found out that this was the religious capital of ancient Egypt and there are many ancient temples to the Egyptian gods. There is a lot of witchcraft and pagan rituals here. Many horses and carriages are adorned with witchcraft charms. The most obvious is a charm shaped like a hand. Little metal hands dangle from everything....you can feel the spiritual tension with these charms. I was told that the Muslims here mingle witchcraft and voodoo in with their Islamic beliefs. If the Muslim chants shouted over the loud speakers all over the city five times a day aren't enough to constantly remind us that we are on a battlefield here, these charms do.

I just took a break from writing this letter to go up on the roof and pray with the Egyptian team. Our team split up today. They will be going to a different city. Up on the roof we had them stand in the middle as we prayed. Esther, one of our girls, said God gave her a vision of our team joining hand around their team and praying protection over them, except we were facing outwards. When we told them what we were going to do, one of the married women on the Egyptian team looked shocked. We joined hands, facing outward, and prayed for spiritual protection over them. After our prayer the woman from the Egyptian team asked her husband to share the dream he had before they left for their outreach. He had dreamed that his team was huddled together and a group of people were surrounding them, facing outward, fighting for them, protecting them, and when we prayed for them this is what happened. It is amazing watching dreams and visions come to pass.

We hiked to the top of the highest peak in Luxor this week, it is the mountain that makes up one side of the Valley of the Kings. To get there we had to make our way through the Egyptian markets and get a ferry ride across the Nile. Then we hopped in the back of a truck and traveled out of the city to the base of the mountain in the desert. From there we climbed 3,815 stairs which brought us a little over half way. The rest was climbing up loose rocks and through crevices. I was surprised at how little some of the team complained. lol. We all made it to the top and had a time of intercession. We buried Bible verses and proclaimed God's Kingdom in Egypt.

I continued on without the group and climbed around the rim of the mountain. On the other side (side opposite the city) I found myself looking out only a few lesser mountains below, and beyond that.....nothing but desert. A few minutes passed before I realized something that I haven't heard in a very long time: Nothing at all. It was completely silent...I mean COMPLETELY. Most of the time when we say it is quiet, you can still hear the leaves of trees, or faint almost unnoticeable bugs, or far off cars. Up here there were no trees, and no wind, no bugs, no people nearby, and we were miles and miles from the nearest car. I stood there in awe...I held my breath so I wouldn't hear it and stood completely still. It was an amazing experience. It makes me think about the moments before God created the earth. There was nothing at all....all was silent......It is easy for us to enjoy and marvel at some of the amazing sounds God creates, but we never really marvel at the beauty that God creates with silence. Silence isn't just the absence of sound, its something God created and true silence is something to stand in awe about.

We also made it into the Valley of the Kings, well, a few of us did. We made our way underground into the tombs. As I looked at the carved walls with all their hieroglyphics I noticed the sarcophagus of the ancient pharaoh (I wont mention his name). The mummy had been taken out and put in a Museum in Cairo, but his sarcophagus had a small gap between the lid and the base, allowing something small to be slipped in if someone could manage to do so without the guard noticing. I traced my fingers over the hieroglyphics and stooped down and got my Bible and journal out of my bag. I smiled as I left the tomb. I left a small piece of the Kingdom in that little room.

Day 93, Luxor, Egypt

Again I'm writing to you, but you still will not see this letter for some time. After a week in Cairo we took a night train to Luxor, Egypt. This was supposed to be an 11 hour train ride south. Things never really turn out like they are planned. We joined with an Egyptian team at the train station so we could do ministry in Luxor together. Our teams had to take different trains, so me and two of the girls stayed behind with the Egyptian team to take the later train. Half an hour later our train rolls up and everyone piles on. Only one of the Egyptian girls spoke English, but one of the Egyptian guys who was dropping the team off came on board real quick to speak to me. He just tapped me on the shoulder and said, "God bless you, enjoy your trip, and if someone tries to talk to you, dont. Only talk to your Egyptian friends and you'll be ok." I wasn't exactly sure what he was implying, so I just sat down and waiting for the train to start moving.

We left at about 7:30 or so. The train was very dirty and didn't smell too pleasant. I knew this would be an overnight train so I expected to catch up on some sleep. HA! That didn't work out. The train pulled out and I waited for them to turn the bright lights off. They didn't. The lights in the train stayed on all night long. The seats didnt recline far enough to sleep on, and the crying babies in surround sound made me give up trying after 2 hours of tossing and turning in my stone seat. About this time two men in their later twenties came walking down the aisle, poking the bags above their heads and questioning people. It was odd looking. They didn't look happy. I was talking to Steph about a book she was reading when the Egyptian girl sitting next to her placed her hand on the book and made a motion for us to be quiet as she stared at the two men coming. Two guys from the Egyptian team sat in the seats in front of us. As the men reached them I noticed the bruises on their foreheads....

(Here is a picture of a random Muslim with the bruise)

Muslim men carry the mark of their religion on their forehead, much like Cain. It is a brown bruise they receive from constantly smacking their heads on the ground five times a day in prayer seeking intimacy from the god of this world who does not satisfy them. They began speaking roughly with the two guys seated in front of us. They seemed to be arguing. They made one of them stand up as they patted him down. I was scared, I wont lie. We were the only non-Egyptians on the whole train, and I knew we were next. After a few minutes of arguing with the two guys, the Muslim men passed us and continued down the train. They two guys in front of us sinked back in their chairs and sighed heavily. I could tell they were very relieved. I asked the Egyptian girl what had just happened and why they were searching us. She just said not to worry that everything was okay now and that they were Islamic police. I still dont know exactly what took place that night, but I believe there was more to the story.

It wasn't too long after this that our train broke down and we stayed still for two hours waiting for another train to come drag us the rest of the way to Luxor. This made our train ride a total of 13 hours of sitting. Right before we arrived in Luxor the sun came up. I stood up to get all the bags ready in the back of the train when I noticed you could open the door on the side of the train. I pulled it open and the cool air rushed in to drag out that funk air that had settled inside the cabin during the night. I stood there a couple feet from the door eying the handrails on either side of the opening. It wasn't long before I was hanging out of the side of the train and it whizzed past the palm trees and fields of veggies. What a rush.

We arrived in Luxor and we taken to a place I cannot tell you just yet. I dragged my luggage up the stairs to find my room so I could crash for a couple of hours. I had been awake for over 26 hours and was ready to pass out. I entered my dark little room where Ruslan and Gerges (My Egyptian friend) had already been sleeping for the past 3 hours. Three beds...two on the ground...one was a top bunk......OF COURSE THEY LEFT ME THE TOP BUNK! I sacrifice myself to take the later train, it breaks down, I get no sleep, and of course they arrive before us and take the best beds. lol. Thats life, what can ya do? I just dropped my luggage and climbing into bed, not caring how much the metal bed frame squeaked. hehe. I slept in my clothes.

I woke up the next morning and they are taking showers in the bathroom. Well, not at the same time. After they are done I go in there to find everything completely soaked and dirty. Im not sure when the last time they cleaned the bathroom was, but I'm sure it was sometime in the 80's. After an interesting shower I was ready to continue the day. We had a meeting and prayed and got briefed on ministry opportunities in the area. After a day out in this crazy city we came home exhausted and ready to crash. Ruslan and Gerges again went in the bathroom to clean up.

I was sitting down somewhere when they came to me and told me that they spoke with the leader of the place we are staying, and that we have to move to another room because the bathroom is broken and the water isn't draining. I waited for them to move all of their stuff to the new room. I walk in and look at the top bunk they left me, and the REALLY small and nasty bathroom the new room provided. The first room was small....but this was almost funny small. The first room had a window that opened up so you could look at the mountain in the distance, and looked out over the city. This new room was on the back of the building and was dark and only had a window that opened up to look at another ugly building behind us. The bathroom didnt have hot water on demand, it had a tiny water heater up in the corner. I told them I would stay in the old room alone. I walk into my room, look in the bathroom at the inch of water on the ground, and then pile all the mattresses on one bed, take all the covers and do the same and use the other two beds as shelves for my luggage and computer. Oh yeah....the whole bathroom being "broken" thing.....I figured the drain was clogged from when Ruslan cut his hair. I went in there, unclogged the drain, cleaned MY bathroom and settled down into bed. Did I mention Gerges snores? Poor Ruslan. I have enjoyed having this room to myself this past week. Funny how things work out sometimes.

Day 90, Cairo, Egypt

What to say. Im not sure. I am writing this now, but you will probably not read it for a while. I am staying at a place inside Cairo, Egypt. I can't talk too much about what we are doing or where we are. On Tuesday we left the compound in the desert and traveled into the city. An Egyptian guy named Gerges is staying with us to translate. As I write, I am sitting on a bed that I'm pretty sure is made with the hardest cloth in the world. No springs, just a bunch of cloth inside it. The room has gray concrete walls, florescent lights, and a joke of a bathroom. We are staying right next to a mosque, so the call to prayer rings through our room 5 times a day....such an eerie sounding chant. The ministry here is very difficult. In Mexico or Budapest or Nashville or anywhere else, you see the results....you go, do dramas, speak, talk with people, lead them to the Lord, and walk away looking at results. Not here. We cannot do dramas, preach on the streets...we have to be secret. We have to wander into churches in groups of two so the undercover police that are here dont know we are a group.

There was a Islamic feast or something this week...They sacrificed lambs in all the mosques....The streets ran with blood, literally, blood from the sacrifices pooled in the streets. I looked out the window as cars passed by with bloody hand prints all over them. As I walked the streets, blood pooled with dust to make soaked patches of road. Many skins were piled all over the place, and I still find body parts lying in the middle of the road; legs, skin, entrails... We are here as prayer missionaries. I believe this is one of the most difficult types of missions. You never get to really see anything being done. You dont get to see any change, and its very difficult to not feel like you aren't getting anything done. So often it feels like we are doing nothing, because we see in the visible but our ministry is strictly spiritual. But we will continue to soldier on in what God has put on us to do. I wish I could tell you a lot about what exactly we are doing, but this is difficult and not really "safe". Plus, I dont know when I will be able to post this. I haven't had access to the internet for a long time now. I can however, tell you about our living conditions, I enjoy doing this anyway.

The bathroom. Ok. You open the door and there is this little bucket looking thing you are supposed to step in to shower in. So you undress and step into this tic-tac sized shower. It has no shower curtain, and the shower head doesn't attach to the wall, so you hold it in your hand and try not to let the water spray your towel. It has two knobs, one for hot, one for cold, but this means nothing at all. I don't know why there are two knobs, they should just have one knob in the middle and write "Random" on it. This would be more accurate. You turn on the water, and no matter how you set it (Hot all the way up and cold off, or cold all the way up and hot off) it decides on its own what the temp will be like. It likes two settings, boiling lava hot and ice cold. It goes back and forth between these two setting about every 20 seconds.

We are supposed to be washing our clothes by hand...needless to say I have dirty clothes

Where did I last leave off....I think it was landing in Cairo. Okay, so to continue the story, we touched down and got our bags and left the airport. We waited outside for the van to come pick us up. Five minutes later a very nice van pulled up...I had just counted all the girls in my group for the fifth time to make sure they were all there and started to pray silently for protection over us as we make our way to where we were staying when I hear shouting and a loud CRUNCH!! I looked up to watch as our nice van smashes into the open door of a taxi. Lots of yelling in Arabic followed. I just kinda smiled and tried to hide the giggles. I dont know why I found it funny. Just did I suppose. We loaded all our bags on TOP of the van....if I hadn't proved that I am the strongest man alive already...everyone knew it after I lifted Esther's bag over my head. I am Nick, hear me roar!

We crunched into the van and began our...uh...interesting trip to the desert compound. The drivers in Egypt honk their horns when you go too slow, when you go too fast, when you are driving normally, when they have to pee, when they want to say hi, when they leave a parking lot, when they arrive somewhere, and sometimes for no reason at all. It was about a three hour drive to the compound. Im not allowed to say exactly where we are staying...I'll tell ya when I get home though.

We got to our rooms, which were free of Rusball clothes, and settled into our beds. SOOO nice! I woke the next morning to someone tapping on our door. It was pitch black in the room because they have really dark think curtains. I felt my way blindly to the door, hoping to get some light into the room so I could see. I turn the handle and opened the door, only to be completely blinded by the incredible light. I closed the door trying to figure out what the heck was going on. I cant see in the dark, and now I cant see in the light...hello....can we not find a middle ground here? After a few minutes my eyes regained their sight and I slowly let the light into the room.

Lesson #1: Open door slowly to avoid blindness

I stepped outside and the girls were already freaking out because it was so beautiful. They took me to the side of the house. We live on the third floor so we get a birds-eye view of the desert surrounding the compound walls. And there I saw the desert rolling out into the distance. A shepherd was guiding his flock of sheep and setting little random fires all over the place. Don't know why, but I hope to find out.

Lesson #2: shepherds can be pyros too

We had a short meeting to figure out what we would be doing that day. The base leader was still working on our arrangements in the city and had given us our schedule.

Agenda for December 15: Relax

I didnt argue. I'll follow that guideline any day. lol. So we had a full day of relaxing. I had about 3 hours of time alone (which is a luxury you dont get alot when living in a community) and I laid out in the warm sun reading and writing. After lunch I played volleyball and soccer with the Egyptian guys for about 5 hours. I returned to my room to shower. I dont think I have ever welcomed a cold shower so much. We have hot water, but that seemed to just make it worse. Cold showers are a must from now on. We had an amazing dinner, then had an amazing worship and prayer time with them. They sang and prayed in Arabic, and we did the same in English.

There is a dog that lives with us here in the compound. A pretty nice German Shepherd. Apparently this dog only speaks Arabic because he didn't respond when I asked him to shut the door on his way out of my room. Im not exactly sure how a dog that sits out in the sun all day in the desert can manage to not smell like complete butt, but he pull it off somehow.

Lesson #3: Dont trust Egyptian dogs to save your life, they don't understand English.

One thing I have learned about the Egyptians, is that they need a lot of encouragement. They live in a land where Muslims dominate and it is difficult to be a Christian. They kept asking us to share testimonies to encourage them in their faith. I hope to be able to strengthen their faith as we are here among them. They are a very friendly people who always smile. I already have a passion for them.

I am not sure exactly how the Egyptians do it, but their meals are spread out pretty far throughout the day. Im used to eating at 1pm for lunch, and dinner at 6pm. Here lunch is supposed to be at 1pm, but its 2:15 as I write this and still no sign of lunch. Dinner isn't until about 8pm or later. They set a time for things, but never follow that time-line. Its like church, watches mean nothing.

Lesson #4: If an Egyptian tells you a meeting will start at 2:00pm, expect them at 5:00pm.

Well, there is the lunch bell, Im off for now. Love ya guys.

Day 85, Touchdown in Egypt

Tada! Last night we touched down in Cairo, Egypt. It was an interesting flight over here. We left at about 3:30pm and spent like three hours in the air. Going from Budapest, Hungary to Cairo, Egypt can be compared to jumping from Ruslan's Closet to the girl's room upstairs. Everyone in Budapest has this heavy spirit of oppression on them. They never smile, even when you smile at them, and don't really want to talk. Everything is hard: people, buildings, hard water, transportation, choking air, and cold weather. There is a lot of room for God to soften Budapest, and a lot of work to be done. I'll tell you about the difference in Egypt in a second.

I noticed the difference in Egyptians back in Budapest. We flew Egyptair. The rules were you couldn't bring more than 20kg of luggage. Me and Ruseball (we got tongue-tied one time while trying to say Ruslan's fooseball table, and came up with the name "Ruseball". It stuck, poor guy) didn't have any trouble staying under that limit.....the 7 girls traveling with us on the other hand.....completely different story. Some weighed over 26kg, which is about 13 pounds of clothes over the limit. You know how many clothes it takes to get 13 pounds? I dont know if I even own that many clothes. (Note to self: buy more clothes). They are supposed to charge you 2,600ft, which is about $12 for every kg over the limit you are. They just smiled and didn't charge us anything. Completely surprised me.

We sat there in the terminal and watched as a snowstorm hit Budapest. It was like a blizzard, more snow than I have ever seen fall. Budapest got blanketed while we were leaving. Perfect timing, we got to watch the snow through the glass walls, but never had to walk through it. YAY! We were welcomed onto the plane by about 37 different people, whose only job was to say, "Welcome" apparently.

We were seated in the same area, and I was seated by myself. WOOHOO. I had a window seat with two empty seats on my left. Praise the Lord. We had to wait a little bit while the airline people took this big machine and sprayed all the ice off the wings. A few of the girls didn't particularly like my comments about them spraying gasoline on the outside of the plane to melt the ice. I thought it was funny though. After about five minutes of me explaining to them about how we were probably going to die in the plane because of the blizzard, we climbed towards the clouds and I watched the last of Budapest sink away while I listened to Benny and the Jets on my iPod. I couldn't help but notice how dark, and almost dead Budapest looked. It was dusk, almost dark, and there were very few lights on outside the city, tons and tons of cube communist buildings with no lights on. The clouds eventually blanketed my view of the city and I watched the sun set into the bed of clouds. I got the better side of the plane. It wasn't long before the girls realized they could move into the empty seats next to me, and in about 5 min Steph was sprawled out on the two seats next to me. I love the many roles I play in this team, especially "Nick the Airplane Pillow".

A few hours later we begin our descent into Cairo. Pitch black outside with no clouds. The city was breathtaking. The moon had taken the place of the sun, and I saw something I had never seen before. I kept catching a glimpse of something really bright and rather large in the city below me every once in a while. I couldn't figure out what it was. It just looked like big flashes of bright light, brighter than any of the street lights or cars. It was keeping up with the plane also. I finally realized what it was as it passed over the Nile. The reflection of the moon....I had seen it on lakes and such, but never from that far up. It was so large in the reflection!! It was bigger than a whole city block. The little flashes I kept seeing were reflections of the moon as it passed over flat buildings and water. Breathtaking.

After we touched down and got off the plane we all boarded this little shuttle on the runway, which took us, literally, about 30 yards to the building. lol. Then again, more and more Egyptians just standing there with smiles on their faces, welcoming us to Egypt. They people here seem pretty friendly. Completely different than Budapest.

Hmm...ya know...its nice and warm here and sunny and everyone is outside and im not, so Im gonna go do some things and write more when everyone is in bed tonight.

Day 83, Budapest

In 24 hours we make our way to the airport to step onto the plane that takes us to Egypt. It is almost 9am here. I just sat down with a bowl of yogurt and a book I've been reading. Half of our team has already left for Romania, we will rejoin in three months. Its a little weird not having everyone here. Community living is so different, but almost addictive. When a bunch of people left our little community here in this house, I felt so.....naked. Its weird not constantly hearing footsteps. With 25 people living in a house.....you ALWAYS hear footsteps. Its like a loud clock at home or something, its constantly ticking.."Tick....tock...tick....tock...tick...tock..."..you get used to it and eventually dont even notice it anymore. Same thing with the footsteps. Every room here has hardwood floors that don't dampen any sound at all, and the footfall noise became like the clock. Now the clock has stopped "ticking" and it almost feels as if time has stopping too. Weird. Things have slowed down here in Budapest with half our team gone.

Ruslan's Closet....

Oh how I do not miss my room. Let me start at the beginning. For the past three months I have slept in the lowest room of the house with three other guys. If you could call it a room. It is the only room without hardwood floors, besides the bathrooms. You know when you walk into a house and take off your shoes and hang up your coat and then choose which room to go in? Thats the room we live in....not the room you chose...but the actual room you step into and take your shoes off and hang your coat up. Apparently there werent enough rooms to house everyone in the house, so they stuck the guys in the old foyer. The door to our room is the door to outside. You walk into this room, about 5 feet deep and 5 feet wide, and there we are, four guys huddled in the corner, trying to sleep. We actually never called it our room. One day I was commenting on the...err...cleanliness of our little room, talking about how someone's clothes were all over the room, and we stumbled upon a more accurate description of our little abode. "Ruslan's Closet". Ruslan is my buddy from Ukraine. At some point during his first week here.....no one was around to witness this, so the accuracy of the story isnt completely verified....but he took all of his clothes and packed them into a bag....with dynamite....and then set the clothes bomb off, completely coating the inside of our room with Ruslan clothes. Thus, we call this room Ruslan's Closet.

Inside Ruslan's Closet, the temperature stays about 5 degree warmer than outside....unless it is warmer outside, then it is 5 degrees cooler. We sleep fully clothed. Luckily, I can fall asleep in 5 minutes, so I just get all pumped up, rush in there and crawl under some of Ruslan's clothes and fall asleep to the chattering of teeth. I never actually warm up before I fall asleep, just kinda wait until the sleep hits me so I go numb to the cold. Im not sure exactly how it happens, something about the rotation of the earth and gravity and the way the house was built, but somehow or another, all the dust and crumbs and dirt from this three-story house manage to collect on the floor in Ruslan's Closet. We sweep the floor, and then wake up the next morning, brush all the dew, bugs and Ruslan clothes off our sleeping bags, and then proceed to step onto the cave-like ice floor covered with crumbs. Yummy. This room also only has one window, but there are boxes loaded up on the other side of that window, completely blocking out the light. So this only adds to the cave-like appearance.

Three of us play the guitar, and Jarrod brought three guitars with him, which brings a total of 5 guitars into Ruslan's Closet. Ben, the drummer, doesn't own a guitar, but seems to collect a lot of them on his bed. The reason for this is when you are playing a guitar, you are sitting on your bed, and when you are done playing guitar you are still sitting on your bed but dont want to continue holding the guitar, so you look for a place to set it....two choices...well, three:

1) Pull your guitar case out, open it up, place your guitar in it, and place the guitar case back under the bunk bed. NO: too much work

2) Lay your nice guitar on the cave floor covered with crumbs and wait for someone to step on it. NO: too risky

3) Lay your guitar on the foam mattress that is in-front of you where no one will step on it, and you dont have to get up to put it there. YES: This sounds like some weird Goldilocks and the Three bears story.

Ben walks in the room and almost always has a guitar on his bed. And hair. I forgot to explain that one. Jarrod sleeps in the bunk above Ben. Jarrod has long hair. Every morning, Ben wakes up to find long hair in his bed in addition to the crumbs and frost. We don't notice his hissyfit because Ben gets up about 4 hours before we do, this is because me and Jarrod stay up until about 1 in the morning and Ben goes to bed at around 6pm every night. Canadians....

Now I live in paradise. When the other team left, so did their spots upstairs in the real bedrooms. Me and Ruslan are the only guys left, and we got to move up into one of the girls old rooms. I had forgotten what it was like to go to sleep without a shirt on. It is so warm, and so cozy. The sunlight pours into the room in the morning, I wake up and stand on a clean, warm, hardwood floor and stretch my arms out, and actually smell breakfast cooking for the first time in three months. I felt like having a good cry the first morning I had this experience. I felt like a human again. Every morning in Ruslan's Closet I woke up and felt like some cave animal (not a bear, bears stay warm). The girls didn't completely remove everything that is theirs from the room. I sleep in the bed that used to be Esther's, and she left a bunch of notes taped to the slanted ceiling above my bed that read, "Good night Princess" and "Good morning! You look beautiful this morning" I pretend they are for me, I feel so pretty in the morning now. I am actually eating breakfast every morning also. When we lived in Ruslan's Closet, to eat breakfast you had to get completely dressed, shoes and everything, and walk outside in the cold and up the concrete stairs to the third floor. Now I just open my door and walk into the warm kitchen. What a blessing. We leave tomorrow, so I will have had a total of three nights in a real bedroom before I find out what desert room I will be sleeping in in Egypt. They will probably make me and Ruslan sleep outside, or with the camels. Oh joy.

Good news though. I just got word that some more support came in this week. Last week a buddy of mine (I dont know if he would like me to post his name) gave me $700 towards my trip, and a few other people gave a couple hundred dollars and my aunt and uncle sent $100, and this week someone sent in $500 and a few other saints sent some also. This brings the total up to $1,730 towards the $4,400 we need for our trip. I am being sent out anyways, even though this isnt enough to cover the cost of my tickets into these countries. Im still praying for more support. Thank you guys, I couldn't bring the good news into the countries if it wasn't for your support. I'm not sure what the internet will be like in Egypt, but I hope to post about what we are seeing and what God is doing through our ministry there. I will talk to you soon, God willing. Until then I will enjoy my final night in this amazing room, and as always will be praying for my little church in Mount Juliet, Tennessee. I love you guys.

Day 77, Budapest

Only two more days and our team splits into two. Its hard to describe the atmosphere here. A little tense...but calm at the same time. Worried, but confident. Its such a weird brew of emotions and feeling. Friends we have lived with for three months are about to leave on their outreach, and we wont see them for three months. I could write about the lectures we had this week, but I think I will use my time to share some other things.

Every Tuesday night after dinner, me and four of the girls take the 173 bus into the city and catch the metro to Daek Ter where the coffee house is located. We duck into the cellar where the cafe is located and begin brewing coffee and setting out the tea bags. After all the tables are fitted with baskets of cookies and treats and the lights are dimmed, we circle (coffee in hand) and pray. In a few minutes college student will trickle into the dimly lit cafe, place a name tag on, grab a coffee, and sit down. We spread out and sit among them, never more than 4 or 5 people at a table. These are Hungarian students who come to practice their English. We usually play a little ice-breaker game and then begin with the questions. Hungarians love deep questions, and we have a plethora of them. Since the beginning of the English club we have formed friendships with these people. They are alway filled with deep responses, and very receptive to new ideas. I find such a contrast to some of the students I know in the states who dont like to think....or think they have it all figured out and dont need to talk. I love these conversations. I decided to staff this class just to get to know some of the people in Hungary better, but these deep questions have afforded me with many opportunities to really talk to these students about their life, the way they think, and about the life I live in Christ. They have been very interested who Christ is, and what it means to have a relationship with Him. On more than one occasion I have found myself speaking for 45 min straight about having a relationship with Christ and how we were designed for this. These students pay to come and speak, to learn English, and I end up speaking and they listen for most of the class, but they eat it up....they love it. They know we are missionaries, and love to ask questions about why we are doing what we do...why we are there to speak to them. It is such a reward to watch them sit there for 45 minutes after class is over, continually asking us questions. This Tuesday was our last English club that we will be able to staff, and because of the Hungarian holidays, we decided to make the theme "Christmas", and not ask very deep questions but keep it light and fun. We opened up with teaching them some Christmas carols, and then read "Twas the Night Before Christmas". I sat down at my little table and looked at the set of questions that were prepared:

1. Have the Hungarians explain Mikulas Day and other Hungarian traditions for Christmas...tree, food, music, etc.

2. Have the American/British explain the legend of Santa Claus and other American traditions for Christmas

3. Are you someone who really "gets into" Christmas or are you not very interested and don't engage in the season's activities? Why or why not?

4. Do you have any childhood memories of Christmas or Hanuka that would be fun to share? Did your family do any special traditions for the holidays?

5. What traditions or values would you like to pass on to your own family one day?

The Hungarians have two holidays in December. Mikulas Day (Dec 6) and Christmas. The night before Mikulas Day the children sit their shoes on the windowsills and go to sleep, waiting for Saint Mikulas to come and put candy in them. If they have been good, they get lots of chocolate. If they have been bad, they get a stick in their shoes. haha. I suppose its as silly as putting coal in a stocking. Then they celebrate Christmas the same day we do. The Hungarians, however, do not link Santa Claus (Saint Mikulas) with Christmas at all. Angels bring their gifts, not Santa.

We were surprised this class. Before it was over, one of the students stood up and said that they had a surprise for us and needed a minute to get prepared. A little caught off-guard we stopped our discussion and waited for them to return. I held back tears as they returned with gifts in their hands. They said that since they would not see us on Saint Mikulas Day or Christmas, Saint Mikulas had contacted them and asked them to help him out a little bit with our gifts since we would be traveling around so much this month and would be hard to track down. One by one they handed us a beautiful handmade card, signed by them all, a special gingerbread star in a lace bag (A Hungarian custom), and a Mikulas bag filled with candy. They kissed our cheeks as they handed us our presents....I tried hard to remember a time where I felt as blessed as I did at that moment. My card read:

Nyk,

We are glad that we know you, and we hope you enjoyed English Club
as much as we did. We are sorry that you are going away, but we know
others will welcome you with the same joy! We would like to remind you
of the good atmosphere and pleasant conversations by our hand-made
gingerbread and card! You may know that Santa Claus, who we call Mikulas,
comes on the 6th of December. He asked us to help him by filling Mikulas
Bags for you and giving it to you two days earlier so that he would have more
time to go around the world in one night! May the wind take you to a
wonderful place where there is no harm or fight, just peace, joy, and delight!

We wish you all the best!
English Club 2007 Budapest.

I found it hard to continue with the conversation after that blessing. I asked the woman who has lead the club for the past 11 years if anything like this had ever happened before and she said "no". She was just as surprised as we were. Had we really impacted the lives of these students that much? After talking well past the end of class, we cleaned up everything, turned off most of the lights and got our coats on......but they were still there....they didnt want to leave. They just hung out while we wrapped up the class. For a few minutes we stood there by the door in our coats, gloves, hats, and scarves....just smiling and looking at each other. We walked outside and locked up the cafe. After kissing both our cheeks, another Hungarian custom, we said goodbye and went our ways. Needless to say, I didn't say much on the way home. I pray God will continue to place people in their lives who will reflect His love and friendship to them in the way we were allowed to.

Well, I'll leave you for now. I have some things to do on my side of the pond. I will write soon about some of the other events that have happened as we prepare to leave for Egypt. I want you all to know what we are setting off to do. You are here with me.

Day 65, Budapest

As the clock counts down and the days are peeled from the calendar, I look back at my time here, and the time I have left, and feel unprepared for the outreach we are about to set out on. The more I learn and see, the more I realize how much I dont really know, and how much I really haven't seen. This week we were taught by a man named Ronnie Stevens, the pastor of a local church here in Budapest. The importance of the Word was shone in a new light to me.

We cannot appreciate the cross until we understand our need for the cross. We have grown up in a world of limited attention, we cannot be effective missionaries (Christians) unless we soak ourselves in the Word. In the physical world...the world around us, we have directions in 2D (basically). We can go 360 degrees, left, right, straight, back,....and yet we get even confused with this and lose ourselves (physically). How many of us have gotten lost before? All of us. Especially Ryan Shelton. Hehe, sorry bud, couldn't resist. In the spiritual realm of things, it is 3D. Its like a sphere, and our directions are infinite. How can we know which direction to go? The Word...its a map. We talked about interpreting the Bible, how to really see what God is saying. We looked at both ends of the spectrum. People who interpret the scripture too loosely, and then the legalists. Legalists are people who make up rules in the Bible, people who get more pleasure out of talking about what they have given up for God more than what God has given up for them.

We looked at the way that the god of this world twists scripture, adds and takes away from it, and tries to get us to question the character of God. In Genesis 3, the serpent tries to sow doubt into Eve. He says, "Did God really say, 'you cannot eat from ANY tree in the garden?" God didnt say ANY tree, he said a specific tree. The serpent tries to make God look unreasonable, Eve also adds by saying "and not touch it". God didnt say not to touch it.
The serpent inflicts doubt, and tries to inflict unreasonableness into the character of God. In Genesis 3:4, the serpent makes it look like God is insecure, and that God doesnt want them to be like Him. Not only is that a lie, but its the opposite of the truth!! Another thing to look at, is Adam and Eve didnt eat the fruit because they were hungry. Forbidding that fruit didnt deny a need or even a desired want....they ate the fruit because they believed a lie about God. How many times do we swallow the fruit because we believe a lie about God?

What is fruit anyway? This fleshy thing thats comes from a green thing usually, and more than often tastes good, except tomatoes. But really, what is it? How can we "bare fruit". What does that even mean? We usually cut off unexpected growths from our bodies, so it must be a spiritual thing. Fruit is excess life. In its essence....it is life that a tree cannot consume, so it produces a vessel to store that life. So if we are the tree, somehow there has to be life flowing through us to produce this "excess life". There are two ways to allow living water to pass through you. How do we do this? Like a pipe? That gets water from A to B pretty quickly, but the pipe is unaffected by the water...or if it is, its in a bad way. What about a tree? As living water passes through the tree, the tree is affected, it changes the tree, and it bares fruit and flowers. Thats how I want to be a vessel for living water....is it a choice? Is it possible to be like a pipe? Will God use us to transport living water like a pipe if we choose to not transport it like a tree? I dont know. Any insight?.....

I heard about two types of flight ratings for pilots. Visual Flight Rating (VFR) and Instrument Flight Rating (IFR). VFR tests how a pilot flies when they can visually see where they are, and where they are going, when there is no cloud cover, no moonless nights.....and IFR tests how pilots fly when they cannot see.....when they are disoriented....but use their instruments to guide them and keep them safe. We have our instrument, the Word of God, and our relationship, discernment, and Godly conscience....but how many times do we not use these instruments and trust our senses and the words of the enemy when we cannot see.....Eve trusted her senses and the words of the serpent over the instruction of God...

I wish I could share all of the things I have learned this week that have totally blown my mind about reading the Word, and recognizing the truth in it...but it would take forever, and time is something I cant spare in excess. Maybe I will take some time when I return to you, to speak to you about these things. The Bible is like a beautiful woman...you never look at an amazingly gorgeous woman and then say, "Oh, I've already looked at her." No, you want to look more, you haven't seen all you want, just like the Bible, you have to keep looking...sorry for the example. It made sense though. I wish I could sit here all day and share these things with you, I'm waiting to explode all these things that have changed my life with you guys, so you too may experience the same thing, the same change.

I love you guys, and I DID have an amazing Thanksgiving, thanks for asking, for all of you who sent me e-mails. Its great to hear from you all.

Day 60, Budapest

It is already the second day into the week, but I want to give you an update on this previous week's sessions. We dealt with our authority in Christ. From the Fall of man to the resurrection of Christ, some big things changed and we really took a dive into how Satan builds strongholds in our lives.

The enemy doesn't want us to discover our original design. When we do, we become dangerous. He builds strongholds in our lives that he uses to keep us from discovering our original design, the way God created us as. We spoke of several kinds of strongholds, including generational, curses, fear, and soul-ties.

Generational strongholds are passed down from parent to child, or even from grandparent to grandchild. Alcoholism is an example of this. Children of alcoholic parents more often that not struggle with alcoholism or marry someone who does. People who were abused, struggle with being heavy-handed with their own children.

Soul ties are also strongholds. People can form soul-ties with people through sinful activity, traumatic events, sexual immorality, and occultic practices. Even people who have been abused or held captive form weird relationships with their abusers and captors. These things can draw people together in an unhealthy way. These ties need to be broken.

As we prepare for our three months of outreach, we are focusing on breaking down the strongholds in our life, and discovering who we are created to be and the authority that comes with it. Our strength and authority is increased as we break the areas that the enemy has held captive in our lives. Man....this has been an amazing journey. I have been changed, and I have seen immediate changes in the lives of my team members as we break down the doors of the places of our lives that the enemy has built strongholds, and take back what belongs to us.

As I see these things happen, my excitement about our ministry in Egypt and India increases! We are becoming more and more effective each day as we uncover new layers of our identity in Christ. We have only a few weeks left before we leave. Please continue to pray for us. We applied for our visas today, so pray that God will provide entrance into India for our team. We also need more support. Thank you guy so much for your encouragement and kind words! They do mean a lot to me, I plan to sit down soon and reply to them.

Day 51, Budapest

I’m sitting here alone as I write this, trying to make sense of the last week....trying to find some sense of control over the changes so I can comprehend what went on in me......what happened?

Wednesday night I stayed up talking with some of the team members. We discussed some of the things that have happened to us in life, some of the events that changed us, and no matter if we wanted them to or not, shaped us into the person we are now. I was talking about how I have become to desensitized to the glory of God, how I used to be very spiritually sensitive. The simplest movies, certain songs, shows and plays, even watching an older man play with his child or grandchild would choke me up. I kept these things in, never let people know, but it still affected me, something stirred in me when it had any kind of spiritual truth, any kind of the way things are supposed to be. After an event that shook the reality of my life, shattered the faith I had in people and even God, I noticed that I was spiritually numb.....no longer did I notice the same things I did before.... I was.....emotionless. At first I enjoyed it. My days of pain were deadened, it no longer hurt, and I even saw it as an advantage, I hungrily devoured the Proverbs, I knew that emotions could affect wisdom and discernment, and I could finally make decisions without my emotions affecting them.....but I was spiritually dead.

We burned the candles into the night, talking until the last flame flickered, and went out. I remember the last thing I said, "And now....I dunno....I’m just so hungry for some emotion, I've noticed that even THEY are a gift, and I miss feeling that...."

Thursday morning I walked into class and set my coffee mug on the table in front of me. Opening my leather journal, I began to prepare the next page for a day of notes on the lecture. How unaware I was that my reality was about to be shattered....well...actually, it was about to be put back together....this time the way it was originally supposed to be.

I don’t remember what the whole lecture was about, but it started off talking about the difference between our flesh and spirit. This was not an unfamiliar topic, I had spoken many times about this at Bible studies throughout the past few years.

Jesus was crucified....we have heard it thousands of times. We have seen the pictures, heard it described, seen the movie.... He willingly set an example for us....it wasn't His spirit that was crucified, it was His body. He could have called down the angels and gotten away, He knew it was coming, but He willingly went. He asked God if there was another way, I'm sure He didn’t look forward to the pain....

Our problem is we don’t see who we are, we don’t know who we truly were created to be....

We can only go to the cross through our freewill... We have been acting like something we weren't created to be...the sin, the masks, the posing. We need to crucify this "old man", the "old self" so we can live free from the bondage, but we can only go to the cross through our freewill.....we can only be crucified and kill our old self, if we go to the cross....and our flesh will be kicking and screaming the whole way....it knows the pain and death....and it resists. It won’t go willingly...

I heard this and started writing what was coming to my mind... Frustrated. I was writing down all of the words I could use to describe myself, the way I have been thinking in life. And something was stirring in me...why was this hard? "Why am I doing this, Lord?" I looked at the page:
"Prideful, mean, uncaring, self gratifying, lazy, manipulative, lying, cheating, false, all about appearance, unconfident, procrastinating, forgetful, unmotivated, rebellious, lonely yet independent, hateful, harsh, judgmental, comfortable, hurt, attached, unfocused, stubborn, sarcastic, self-absorbed...."

I closed my eyes...."Why is this hurting...what is going on?"

"You need to know the man you are burying. You cannot bury what you don’t know exists....You must do this to say good-bye to your old self"

I tilted my head back, trying to deny tears. They came anyway. What was going on...I knew now. God gave me a look at who I was putting up on the cross, the man I was giving up, the old me, I was saying goodbye. I thought this would be a great time of freedom and rejoicing, but no. It was hard, I had to say goodbye to someone I was familiar with, I felt secure with the old self, I was crucifying an old friend, and saying goodbye to one I had grown close to. There is freedom, but it also came with a period of burying an old friend.

The emotions are back, I have my identity now, the man I was created as. Truly, a Christian isn’t one who gives his life to Christ, but one who gets his life from Christ.

Things are different now, what freedom, what vision. I had to be taken through the lies of my life, the identity I had believed of myself, the one I had accepted and lived with. God took me and showed me the new man, the one He had always seen, He showed me my real identity. An identity void of scars, void of lies, void of masks. What now? What will I do with this? I will show others. Too long have we lived in the dark, too long have we been living with an identity that is marred, scarred, and a broken image of whom we really are. I can't just sit back anymore.

STATUS UPDATE:

Tomorrow I will announce where I will be going on outreach to the group.... I have had to choose between two outreaches. One is setting out for Bulgaria, Armenia, and Greece. The one I chose is heading for Egypt, and then India.

In less than a month, God is sending me out to speak to the lost and encourage the found. On December 10 I leave for Egypt, fully equipped (and by fully equipped I mean completely and utterly broken in spirit and humbled knowing I can bring nothing without God), soaked in prayer and grace to spread the Gospel. I have been in training for 2 months, and will continue this preparation for the time remaining before we leave. I do need help. The plane tickets from here to Egypt, and from Egypt to India and back to Budapest have risen a lot. Each member of our team needs $4,500 to cover his or her part of the crusade. I do not have this money. I look at the time in-between now and the time I leave. Less than a month. This seems like an overwhelming obstacle for me. It is a lot of money. I ask that you all please pray about supporting me during this time. I cannot do this alone, I have taken the step into this time, I am walking this out, and we will reach these Muslims and Hindus, but I cannot do this alone. Please pray about my financing, and the whole team's. I will keep you informed about how God provides this money, so you can grow in faith and rejoice with me.

In faith,
Nick Huber

P.S. Thank you so much for your letters, e-mails, and comments. They are a constant source of encouragement, its feels good to know I am not alone in this battle.

Day 46, Budapest

It is the second day into our week of lectures, and already my mind is crammed with new ideas and thoughts. Sverker, a Swedish missionary, is speaking this week. I looked at the schedule yesterday to get an idea about what our topic would be, and the words on the sheet said "The Gospel".

I prepared myself for a week of teaching on Jesus. I was mistaken. Im not sure how the rest of the week will turn out, but we haven't talked about the life of Jesus. Instead we have been talking about deep things that are totally changing the way I think!

We are talking about our identity, the masks we wear, and how we "pose" for the world. He is using many different movie clips to highlight his points. I am very impressed. I find myself sitting back in my chair, trying to comprehend the words that are piercing my heart as he brings lie after lie to the surface and allows God to shine light on them.

One of the things that is continually popping up in my mind, is that we all need more love than we deserve. We were created in His image. I find myself walking from time to time asking questions....questions i think everyone asks, something that is core to actually living a life with "life" in it. These times usually happen while im alone, when no one else is around, no one's gaze is upon me and i don't need to "perform" for anyone, like when I'm staring into a fire, or by myself on the bus, walking home at night alone...."Who am I....really.......why do I think the way I do, why do I feel the emotions i do,....why do we all put on different faces around different people? What am i looking for.....why do we do this?....why am I more aware of this when no one else is around?" We want to know more about ourselves, the spiritual part of us, the emotional part of us. We wear masks, we pose, change the way we hold ourselves, so that we can gain someone's acceptance, love, affection. But deep down, we are looking for the real us. We were created in God's likeness, after his heart, His image. We find our identity from God, it is bestowed on us, we can look at ourselves and know "I am like Him", so we look at Him to understand ourselves.

But something has happened.....we have lost our identity. We believe we came from monkies, we think we were a great cosmic accident, homosexuality, we think unborn children aren't even humans until they are born......Even if we dont believe in any of these things and have a relationship with God, we still feel uncertain of who we actually are.....I think the cry of most of our hearts is...."There.....has.....there has to be more than this......" There is, and God wants to take us there, He wants to show us more.

Another thing that we have been discussing is the Law, and how we still cant seem to shake the bondage of it all the time. The Law is a gift from God to bring the flesh to its end, to reveal the truth about our flesh to us.

Galations 3:21 NLT
"If the law could have given us new life, we could have been made right with God by obeying it"

Galations 3:19 NLT
"Well then, why was the law given? It was given to show people how guilty they are..."

1 Corinthians 15:56
"For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power"

Its not that we should become evil people sinning all the time because we are no longer under the law....no, not at all. We dont sin because of other reasons, not just because the law says not to. If the law says to not beat your wife because you will go to jail....I dont care about that law, it doesn't mean anything to me at all, why? Because we are governed by a HIGHER law, because of our relationship with Christ. I dont WANT to beat her, not because the law says not to, but because I love her. Love is the higher law here. If we were governed by the law, what kind of marriage would that be? You come home and go to hit your wife and then stop right before your hand strikes her and say, "Oh...I cant hit you because the law says I cant" That isn't marriage. You can find examples of this for every law.

Im getting ready to head out for another outreach, so I gotta run.

Day 43, Budapest

We had an amazing street outreach this week. I'll tell you all the events leading up to it. One of the things God has really been showing us lately is the power of prayer. I have always understood that prayer is good, and that every once in a while something great happens from prayer, but I never really understood the importance of prayer and how it can affect things. I used to always be the first one to get bored and lose focus ten minutes into the hour long prayer times......I still do...but I "used to" too. ; )

This week we were reaffirmed of how important prayer is, and heard all kinds of different stories of how prayer changed things. Well, right before outreach we fasted lunch, and spent the time praying for the our ministry on the streets. We arrived at the metro we were going to do our songs and testimonies. We spent about 10 minutes, in pairs, walking around praying for the people, and claiming the area for the Kingdom. I decided to give it a try, I would usually say a quick prayer and then tune my guitar and get ready for worshiping. So I walked around praying, the whole time. Then we sang. It was rough, we were having trouble with the sound system, and half the worship team couldn't get set up, so we fumbled through it.....but people were watching intently. It was different. And then while they were giving testimonies and translating it into Hungarian, I would usually just sit and wait for the next set of songs. But I decided to pray again, and walked around praying for the people's hearts to be prepared and again claiming the area for the Kingdom. I was about to go back up when a man walked up to me and started talking about our songs. To make the story short, I eventually led the conversation to his belief in Christ, and he immediately changed the subject. A few minutes later I started talking about God again, and he said he had to leave and hoped I had a good time in Budapest, then walked away and stood there watching the dramas. He didn't have to leave, he just didn't want to talk about God. I was a little put off, I figured I was too forceful, but whatever, I tried. A few minutes later a guy in his mid-twenties stood about 5 feet away from me, watching the program. He inches his way closer, and kept looking at me. He had seen me talking to the other guy, and I think he noticed how I was touching the other guy's shoulders and heart (its amazing what touch does to people). I looked up at him, and smiled, and he walked over to me and said "Do you believe this F$%&ng $#!T?" I smiled, knowing that I was probably one of the only ones on the team who could talk to this guy without my head exploding because of his language, and that's why God led him to me and not someone else. I said, "Yeah, actually, I do man" He asked me a few questions, and I asked him what he believed. He didn't believe in God anymore because of some deaths in his life, he didn't understand how God could let people die so young. I told him about Christ, and how we can have personal intimate relationships with God. At first he didn't want to accept Christ into his life. I asked him again, but still, he didn't want anything to do with Him. I shared about some of the things God has done in my life, about how I changed and how I'm living a completely different life now that I have a relationship with Christ. He asked about talking to God and prayer. We talked for a while, and at the end I asked Him if he would like to know Christ like I do, and have a relationship with God. He said, "Yeah....I....I do." I just kind of stood there....in disbelief, did that actually just happen? After fumbling through that whole conversation, it actually got to the point where he asked to have a relationship with God....I couldn't believe it. We prayed and he asked Jesus into his heart, repented for living away from Him, and asked the Holy Spirit to live in him! Totally blew my mind.

We sang more and did more dances and testimonies, and then had a debriefing. One of the Hungarian pastors who was there thanked us, saying that he had been doing this every week for years and years, and had never had so many people open to receive Christ! Many people entered the Kingdom of Heaven that day!

Totally opened my eyes to the power of prayer.

This week Jim Isom talked about "Family". Intense stuff. He talked about our roles in the family, how we receive different wounds and identities from the way our family interacts. He spoke on building joy, and family blessings, visions, and used Biblical examples. One of the things that he said really stuck out to me,

"The place you learn the most about God is the place God has destined you to be"

Moses didn't know much about God before he led the Israelites out of Egypt, it was when he stepped into the position that God planned for him to be that he learned the most about God.

He talked about the church as a family a lot too. While speaking at a church in South America, he got on the topic of missionaries. He was teaching about the gifts that God has given us, and how some people have a gift for missions. He said, "Would I be mistaken if I were to say that God has called at least 1% of real, God fearing Christians to be missionaries, and that He has gifted them in that area and they don't even know it?" They church said that they believed 1% sounded too low, that more people were probably gifted in the area of evangelism and missions. He asked them how many people lived in El Salvador. They said 6 million. He asked them how many of those people were true Christians, who walked with Christ, and prayed and went to church and were serious about their relationship with God. They said a little over 30% of the people. So about 2 million. So 1% of 2 million is 20k people. Of a nation of 6 million people, 20k would be a reasonable (or low) number of people that God has gifted in missions. He asked them how many missionaries they actually had. They discussed it, and said they had about 125 missionaries that they send out to save the lost. So is it possible that the other 19,875 people just don't know that they have a gifting in that area?

He asked them if they could support that many missionaries, and they said that they actually couldn't. How many churches have this same problem? How many of us don't know the calling God has on our life, and just live life doing things with no eternal value?

This stirred something in me.... Is there something that we can do to show people the calling on their life? Help people get a vision of something? I don't know, but God is moving my heart in this direction, I just cant see clearly what He wants me to do just yet.

This is getting pretty long, so I'll hop off for now. I'll write again soon. I am praying for you guys back home.

Day 37, Budapest

Another week under our belts. This week our lectures were on how to study the Bible on our own. Justin McKinney, one of the staff, taught us how to look at the different contexts of the Bible, and pointed out how easily the Bible can be misquoted. He used the Inductive Study Method, much like what Mr. Shearer taught us years ago, so I already had a head-start in the game. Thanks Rob! He showed us some of the things that people use to show that the Bible isn't consistent, and that it contradicts itself, and let us take a look at how it actually makes perfect sense and only compliments itself! It really reaffirmed the importance of not just reading, but studying the Word of God. One of the things that really sparked a flame inside me is how perfectly God has made the Bible, it flows so beautifully together in harmony. I would really like to find a book that goes through the life of Paul like a story, and shows where he was when he wrote the different letters, what was going on at the time in the world around him, etc. It is so hard to piece everything together on my own. So if anyone knows of a book like this, or even a website, please let me know.

God is slowly revealing different things to me about myself, about my heart, and is shining light into all the areas that I have kept from Him. I would like to say that this is so much fun and I enjoy it, but it feels like surgery, and no one likes the process of giving up things and having Him remove areas of decay from your life, but after He has closed the wounds and I can rest, I know that the journey was well worth the pain and effort. Please continue to keep us in prayer, sometimes the road up ahead seems so difficult and tiring, but it is so worth it. Im not coming back until He has finished His work in me and through me for this time in my life.

Thank you guys so much for your support. I dont know how I could be able to be here and continue to carry on without your continued prayers and support.

Prayer: We are still in the process of figuring out where God wants to send us on outreach. We are thinking He is going to send us to Egypt and India. So pray that God would open the doors for our ministry and clear our minds so we can hear Him, and that He would prepare the hearts of the people, till the soil, so that our seeds will fall on fertile soil. Also, Egypt and India are expensive outreaches, and we will need to raise more money, both individually, and as a group. So pray that God will open up the doors to finance our outreach. I still don't know how I will be able to raise the rest of the money needed for my tickets. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed.

I love you guys, and will post again soon. I love hearing from you, encouragement AND advice!

Day 34, Budapest

Lets see if i can figure out how to write a short post.

Its closing in on the end of the week now. We've been having lectures on studying the Bible, and how to keep it in context, and where to find answers, how to apply scripture to your life, and stuff. The focus of this is to enable us to get a strong grasp of scripture so we can feed ourselves with the truth everyday, and when we see churches and other christians distorting what God really said, we can help them. Its also to help us when witnessing to people and they quote verses out of context. It is raining a lot this week, and its starting to get cold.....fun fun fun.

The outreaches in the city are going well, we are adding souls to the Kingdom continually!! Its amazing some of the spiritual warfare we see happening. The enemy really doesn't want us here. The prostitution is huge here, and girls as young as 14 are soliciting themselves on the streets. These people really need Christ in their life.

I really miss you guys back home. You really dont know how much you appreciate little things and comforts until you go so long without them. lol. Apparently Hungarians dont believe in peanut butter. ;) It is great hearing from you guys, it keeps me going. I still have two months of training before we go full-time outreach to India and Egypt. It is so hard finding time to do all the little things i want to get done here. heh. Writing this blog is one of them. I'll try to post again this weekened. I love you guys, and cant wait to see you all again!

Day 30, Budapest

I don't even know where to begin for this week. It has been probably the craziest week of my life.

This weeks teaching has been on prayer, and two older women from Atlanta came to speak to us. I had heard a little bit about these women before they came. I was told that they have an incredible gift of prayer and prophesy. They had prayed for each of us by name and asked that God give them a word for each of us, before they knew anything about us except our name. They began the week by a "Lecture" on soaking in God's presence. They talked for about 10 minutes on just allowing ourselves to be in God's presence, and just listening for His voice. Then they turned on some soft music and we all sat there just listening to the music and praying silently for about 2 hours...but it went so fast...i was really really surprised. I usually cant sit there and pray for 2 hours, it drives me nuts, but this one was different. Then while we were praying, one of the women came up to me and started whispering this prayer in my ear...she was praying for healing in areas that I had NEVER told anyone here about...TOTALLY blew my mind! She was so accurate! I was freaking out.

After the soaking time they went around the room and told each of us the words that God had given them. As they went around the room giving everyone their individual words, I was getting goosebumps because the words they were giving to the other people were so right on...they were telling them things that i had seen happening in them too! Then they got to me, they told me what they had heard from God, and then two verses that God had given them for me, and the wrote it on a piece of paper from me. Here is what it said:

Nick Huber,
As I prayed for you, I felt the Lord describe you as an adventurer who is willing to risk for Him. You are in the process of discovering great and priceless treasure. You will not be disappointed in your quest.

"My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God" Proverbs 2:1-5

"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" Colossians 2:2-3

When I read that, something stirred in me, but i just shrugged it off and thought nothing of it. All of these "soaking times" and "Prophesies" were a little sketchy to me. Lately my focus is to REALLY hear God, and not get swept away by emotion or lies that I've heard. I have been wanting to experience the TRUTH of God and not the "experience" of religion. The whole crying in prayer, speaking in tongues all the time, raising your hands in worship, speaking out a prophesy during lecture, listening to music and then getting filled with the Spirit and dancing these weird dances, "falling out" in the spirit when getting prayed for......all of these things were sketchy to me. I have seen too many people fake it, and i've faked it myself. I had made the decision that if these things were real, then I needed to feel God in it. I refused to pray out loud unless I felt God giving me a word or putting something on my heart to pray for. I refused to fake anything at all, or to allow myself to get caught up in the moment or in my emotions and "falling out in the spirit" or speaking in tongues when i knew it wasn't real. My cry had continually been "Lord....these people are getting so caught up in this thing....show me what is real, I cant do this stuff without questioning if its real or not...I need you to give me the understanding, show me what you see, show me what is real and what isnt real."

I was walking to the metro with one of the girls on my way home from the base. For a week now my headphones had been broken. Another guy's headphones broke the same time mine did, and he went out and bought some the next day. They cost him like $60. The electronics are SOO expensive here. Like 1 C battery costs like 4$. I had gone and looked at the headphones, and decided that I didnt have enough money to consider buying any, which meant I would spend the next 5 months with the iPod my brother gave me, and i couldn't listen to it. I had decided to just forget about it, and I was walking home a week later and then all of a sudden I felt like God told me I could get the headphones....i questioned it, "God...I cant afford this right now..." and all i felt was "I said its okay". So, weirded out, without saying a word i left the girl i was walking with and turned around and headed immediately to the nearest store, trying to figure out what had changed. I got to the store, and a girl was speaking to one of the clerks. She looked frustrated. I waited and he came and got the headphones for me after a few minutes and i walked to the counter to check-out. The girl saw me put the headphones on the counter and asked me if i was buying them. I said i was. She then asked if i could help her. I said yes, but still didn't have any clue what she needed, she just looked desperate. She then told me how she had bought some headphones, and they didnt work for her, and now she was trying to return them but they wouldnt let her because she needed to buy something else in the store to replace them, and they would only give her 80% of her money back. Somehow if I bought them in her name, and then gave her 10k Forint, it would help her out and i would still get the headphones for the same price. Well I was paying with a card and they wouldnt help us out by charging me extra and giving her cash. I told her to wait there, and left the store and walked to the nearest bank, and converted some money to the Hungarian Forint. When I returned and handed her the cash, she was so shocked and asked why i was in Budapest and how I spoke English, (because like NO ONE speaks english, we were the only ones in the store who did). I told her why I was in Budapest, and about my relationship with God....she was a little taken back at everything that I had done for her, and told me, "Today...i know that God sent you here just to help me...thank you". At that very second I understood why God had given me the permission to buy the headphones. It actually helped me too, I saved 1k Forint during that transaction also!

That was the end of the first day of lecture.

On Tuesday, Molly (the speaker) started class with....well, I'll show you what I wrote in my journal:

"
(Lecture) - Molly
Prayer
* Molly started out crying, saying the Holy Spirit is over her and she doesn't understand why. Okay, now she is bawling her eyes out. What does this mean Lord....now she is GROANING!....God, you have got to stop me from laughing. I'm about to lose it! I cant look at her. Father, show me what this means...why....Lord...what is this? What are you trying to say to us?

Romans 8:22 - Creation is groaning.
"
I wasn't sure what the heck she was doing by groaning, but it looked so stupid and so fake. I was just looking for some truth, I was tired of seeing fake things. After this, we all paired up with someone else and had to pray that God would give us a word or prophesy for the other person. I got paired up with Nic Barella, a thirty year old missionary who is on staff. He told me that God had given him a vision of me climbing a huge mountain, and I had gotten a little ways up it without any help, without any tools like rope and other climbing gear. He said that he felt like God was telling him that I had gotten a little ways on my own, but that God wanted me on top of this mountain, and that I was going to need certain tools to get to where God wanted me, and that God would begin giving me these tools.

It didn't really stir anything in me. I forgot about it later that day.

Wednesday is when things totally went crazy. God did some amazing things that turned my universe upside down. What happened was a lot of shouting. It was so weird to me, but they went around and prayed for anyone who wanted God to free their voice so they could shout and break the barrier that was preventing them from giving their whole voice to Him. They would stand in the middle of the room and get prayed for, and then all of a sudden bust out with these crazy screams and were crying and stuff. I thought the police would come because i was sure the neighbors were thinking we were sacrificing children or something. These bongo drums were playing, and it was just weird to me. We and another guy had just gotten done talking about how out of the box these women are, and how we were unsure how true a lot of this "spiritual" stuff really was. Neither of us had really spoken in tongues with any confidence that it was true. None of us were into this whole getting carried away with emotion and screaming or groaning. It was just...i dunno, it didnt seem right to me.

While everyone was taking turning getting prayed for, i just sat there asking God what in the world was going on. I had my head bowed in prayer while everyone else was yelling and praying out loud for the people and being crazy. I was searching for something solid, something real, I was looking for an answer from God. I raised my head once t pray for someone because everyone else was praying...but then I thought, "this is stupid...I dont feel led to pray for her, so im not" and I went back to ask God some more questions. "Who am I? Who do you see me as? I HAVE to know, who am I really without the masks..." I listened while everyone was praying and all I heard was "You are My Leonidas (Spartan king), you are My warrior, you are a fighter, you are MINE and you will not sway for false prophts, you will not sway for lies, you will go boldly, without fear, into battle".....

I sat there for a second....uncomfortable with what i heard....I was afraid it was just me hearing what I wanted to hear. I was afraid it wasnt true, and if i told anyone what I heard, they would just laugh and think i was cocky. As soon as i thought this God hit me with the same thing again. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and this time I saw an image with the word. It was me, in some crazy leather armor, standing on top on this cliff with this sword in my hand. But it wasnt the armor or location or sword that surprised me the most....it was the look on my face. I had ever seen anything like it. I was staring off into the distance, with this look of focus, this look as if i knew something that no one else knew, and I was so utterly confident and determined, and my gaze was focused on something. It was the complete opposite of they way i felt at the moment that it threw me offguard. I didnt feel any of those emotions. I was confused, I was questioning everything and didnt know what i believed. How could this image be true? Before I say what happened next, I'll post what I wrote in my journal leading up to this point, while everyone was praying and shouting:

"Lord, if I am to speak truth.....if that is Your calling on my life, you have to show me the truth first. You have to let me know truth Lord, and give me a boldnes to fight to declare it with confidence.

I find myself hardening myself to some things that im not sure about, and I want to believe what is true, so open my heart to be open to weird and different ways to be filled withYour Spirit.

Lord, You show me....and show me in the way You want. I refuse to fake it, Ive faked it before. This whole screaming thing....Lord, it doesnt stir my spirit. I want to be open to this...but ya know...Lord, my heart is hardened against this right now...I give you all access to this. Ive prayed that if You want this for me, then show me. They are asking people to "Give Him a shout to work with". This doesnt seem real to me Lord, So I'll go when you show me. Am I doing this wrong? Should I just fake it and go against what I'm feeling and then You will show up in that time?"

Those were my prayers before God gave me that image.

During the time God was speaking to me, my buddy, the same one who thinks the same thing I do about all this out of the box spiritual stuff had stood up and walked into the middle of the room. Without knowing what was going on I felt God just slam into me and I was no longer in control. My face immediately turned to him, and I felt this amazing confidence wash over me, and then my jaw loosened and I was no longer looking at Jarrod, I was looking INTO him, and then i started speaking in tongues.....it was the freakiest thing I have ever experienced. I was semi-conscious in the back of my mind, and i remember thinking "what in the world! I cant believe this is actually happening!"

The second God hit me and turned my face towards Jarrod, his legs started shaking, and he told me afterwards that his mouth went dry and his whole body went numb.

I'll share what I wrote afterwards, it pretty much sums up what was going through my head:


"I cant believe what just happened..... Jarrod stood in the middle of the group to receive this prayer. For everyone else, i didnt pray, I didnt feel anything, I refused to even act like I did. I just sat here silently and waited. When Jarrod went up.... I still cant believe this. I have never spoken in tongues, ever, every time I faked and used partial spanish words and thought really hard about which words I would say next so that they didnt sound like the words I just got done saying....but i started praying in tongues.....and this extreme confidence came over me, and i felt this knowing smile spread across my face, and I felt God give me an authority to speak in the language of angels! Freaked me out! Im still thinking "What the hell just happened?" But God gave me a gift so that He could use me. Man....this is crazy. Im still in disbelief! I have never had that happen before.... God was in me...my gaze (His gaze) was piercing Jarrod....and this beautiful tongue language was more than praying, it was declaring! It spoke with authority, it spoke with confidence, it spoke knowing it had power..... and I feel so amazingly strong...I have been given a new tool! My sword! God has left it with me.... it was like He came, took my hand and put a sword in it, showed me what it felt like, trained me, guided me with it, and showed me how to use it, and when it was finished....He left the sword with me! I can speak in tongues with confidence!! Thank You Lord!!


Another thing, when I was speaking in tongues... I wasn't speaking to Jarrod, I was declaring something, I was speaking to something in him, and something in him broke. I felt like I was leading him through prayer. It was when I let God work through me, that I was touched. God channeled through me, and left His mark on me!! Freaking wild, man.


(about ten minutes later i wrote this, sorry about the language)
Holy shit!! Another thing just hit me!!! Yesterday we were supposed to prophesy over each other and I got paired with Nic Barella. He told me that he saw a vision of me standing on top of a mountain, that I was climbing up, and that i needed tools to get there. That God is going to give me the tools needed to get to the top of this mountain, that i will need them. Before i spoke in tongues, I felt God reassuring me that I am his warrior, that I am special, that I am a leader. I didnt remember anything about Nic's prophesy at all, but I saw myself in this armor, sword in hand, at the top of this mountain with this confidence radiating over me! Today i received one of those tools! God IS preparing and equipping me!!"

All of this hit me so fast, i was totally not expecting any of this, and I actually didnt even really believe in most of it. One of the things i have noticed after that moment, is that I have changed. My prayer life in completely different...I cant explain it....its not emotional....but its very personal and intimate....its close. And its constant....we speak about everything.... You cant be touched by God like that, and not be affected.

Well, this post is getting REALLY long, and I have to kick off for now. I hope to tell you about the outreaches we are doing they are REALLY fruitful and God is doing some amazing things through our work here!

Day 24, Budapest

Today we started a new week of lectures. Two women from Georgia spoke this morning about prayer, and it was amazing. They went around the room praying for each of us individually, and man...her prayer was RIGHT ON! Then they went and prophesied over us, and the prophesy was exactly the same thing that God had been showing me! I was totally freaking out! It was so crazy!

Another wild thing happened. A couple of days ago my head-phones broke to my Ipod. I went to check out new headphones, but here all electronics are really expensive, and I wasn't sure if God was okay with me spending money on something like that, since i dont have the money to pay for the rest of the outreach yet. I had decided that I couldn't buy them, and just decided to move on. Well, we were all leaving the base to go home after lecture, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I should go buy those headphones...i couldn't explain it, i just turned around and walked away from the group, and went the other direction towards a place I could buy the headphones. I felt like God had given me permission to get them, and I didnt think anything about it. When I walked in the store, a woman in her twenties was talking to a clerk in English....and i have seen like 1 person outside the school speak english in Hungary. I didnt know what she was talking about, but she seemed frustrated. I waited until she was done and asked the clerk to get the headphones from the case for me. When I brought them to the counter she looked at me and asked me if i was buying them. Confused, i looked at her and said yes. Then she asked me if I could buy them in her name and give her the money....or something really weird like that, it was complicated because she was trying to get a refund but they would only do it if she bought something else....i dunno, basically she was getting ripped off and she asked me to help her. I said it wasnt a problem. Then we find out that i cant give her money because I was paying in cash and they wouldnt run the bill over so I could give her cash....so i said "hold on" and ran to a back, withdrew cash, and came back. She was so surprised that I had gone so out of my way to help her. She was asking me questions about where I came from and what i was doing in Budapest. When I started to share with her about my faith, she had this look of disbelief on her face, and said, "Today, I know that God sent you here to help me, thank you". What an amazing experience, God totally blew me away man. I had gone to the store a few days ago and felt like I wasnt supposed to buy them, and then out of the blue i feel like its suddenly okay, and God puts me in a situation like that. He is just simply amazing.

I am really looking forward to this week of lectures! I love you guys, and thank you so much for your prayers! I would really like to hear from you all!