Day 30, Budapest

I don't even know where to begin for this week. It has been probably the craziest week of my life.

This weeks teaching has been on prayer, and two older women from Atlanta came to speak to us. I had heard a little bit about these women before they came. I was told that they have an incredible gift of prayer and prophesy. They had prayed for each of us by name and asked that God give them a word for each of us, before they knew anything about us except our name. They began the week by a "Lecture" on soaking in God's presence. They talked for about 10 minutes on just allowing ourselves to be in God's presence, and just listening for His voice. Then they turned on some soft music and we all sat there just listening to the music and praying silently for about 2 hours...but it went so fast...i was really really surprised. I usually cant sit there and pray for 2 hours, it drives me nuts, but this one was different. Then while we were praying, one of the women came up to me and started whispering this prayer in my ear...she was praying for healing in areas that I had NEVER told anyone here about...TOTALLY blew my mind! She was so accurate! I was freaking out.

After the soaking time they went around the room and told each of us the words that God had given them. As they went around the room giving everyone their individual words, I was getting goosebumps because the words they were giving to the other people were so right on...they were telling them things that i had seen happening in them too! Then they got to me, they told me what they had heard from God, and then two verses that God had given them for me, and the wrote it on a piece of paper from me. Here is what it said:

Nick Huber,
As I prayed for you, I felt the Lord describe you as an adventurer who is willing to risk for Him. You are in the process of discovering great and priceless treasure. You will not be disappointed in your quest.

"My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God" Proverbs 2:1-5

"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" Colossians 2:2-3

When I read that, something stirred in me, but i just shrugged it off and thought nothing of it. All of these "soaking times" and "Prophesies" were a little sketchy to me. Lately my focus is to REALLY hear God, and not get swept away by emotion or lies that I've heard. I have been wanting to experience the TRUTH of God and not the "experience" of religion. The whole crying in prayer, speaking in tongues all the time, raising your hands in worship, speaking out a prophesy during lecture, listening to music and then getting filled with the Spirit and dancing these weird dances, "falling out" in the spirit when getting prayed for......all of these things were sketchy to me. I have seen too many people fake it, and i've faked it myself. I had made the decision that if these things were real, then I needed to feel God in it. I refused to pray out loud unless I felt God giving me a word or putting something on my heart to pray for. I refused to fake anything at all, or to allow myself to get caught up in the moment or in my emotions and "falling out in the spirit" or speaking in tongues when i knew it wasn't real. My cry had continually been "Lord....these people are getting so caught up in this thing....show me what is real, I cant do this stuff without questioning if its real or not...I need you to give me the understanding, show me what you see, show me what is real and what isnt real."

I was walking to the metro with one of the girls on my way home from the base. For a week now my headphones had been broken. Another guy's headphones broke the same time mine did, and he went out and bought some the next day. They cost him like $60. The electronics are SOO expensive here. Like 1 C battery costs like 4$. I had gone and looked at the headphones, and decided that I didnt have enough money to consider buying any, which meant I would spend the next 5 months with the iPod my brother gave me, and i couldn't listen to it. I had decided to just forget about it, and I was walking home a week later and then all of a sudden I felt like God told me I could get the headphones....i questioned it, "God...I cant afford this right now..." and all i felt was "I said its okay". So, weirded out, without saying a word i left the girl i was walking with and turned around and headed immediately to the nearest store, trying to figure out what had changed. I got to the store, and a girl was speaking to one of the clerks. She looked frustrated. I waited and he came and got the headphones for me after a few minutes and i walked to the counter to check-out. The girl saw me put the headphones on the counter and asked me if i was buying them. I said i was. She then asked if i could help her. I said yes, but still didn't have any clue what she needed, she just looked desperate. She then told me how she had bought some headphones, and they didnt work for her, and now she was trying to return them but they wouldnt let her because she needed to buy something else in the store to replace them, and they would only give her 80% of her money back. Somehow if I bought them in her name, and then gave her 10k Forint, it would help her out and i would still get the headphones for the same price. Well I was paying with a card and they wouldnt help us out by charging me extra and giving her cash. I told her to wait there, and left the store and walked to the nearest bank, and converted some money to the Hungarian Forint. When I returned and handed her the cash, she was so shocked and asked why i was in Budapest and how I spoke English, (because like NO ONE speaks english, we were the only ones in the store who did). I told her why I was in Budapest, and about my relationship with God....she was a little taken back at everything that I had done for her, and told me, "Today...i know that God sent you here just to help me...thank you". At that very second I understood why God had given me the permission to buy the headphones. It actually helped me too, I saved 1k Forint during that transaction also!

That was the end of the first day of lecture.

On Tuesday, Molly (the speaker) started class with....well, I'll show you what I wrote in my journal:

"
(Lecture) - Molly
Prayer
* Molly started out crying, saying the Holy Spirit is over her and she doesn't understand why. Okay, now she is bawling her eyes out. What does this mean Lord....now she is GROANING!....God, you have got to stop me from laughing. I'm about to lose it! I cant look at her. Father, show me what this means...why....Lord...what is this? What are you trying to say to us?

Romans 8:22 - Creation is groaning.
"
I wasn't sure what the heck she was doing by groaning, but it looked so stupid and so fake. I was just looking for some truth, I was tired of seeing fake things. After this, we all paired up with someone else and had to pray that God would give us a word or prophesy for the other person. I got paired up with Nic Barella, a thirty year old missionary who is on staff. He told me that God had given him a vision of me climbing a huge mountain, and I had gotten a little ways up it without any help, without any tools like rope and other climbing gear. He said that he felt like God was telling him that I had gotten a little ways on my own, but that God wanted me on top of this mountain, and that I was going to need certain tools to get to where God wanted me, and that God would begin giving me these tools.

It didn't really stir anything in me. I forgot about it later that day.

Wednesday is when things totally went crazy. God did some amazing things that turned my universe upside down. What happened was a lot of shouting. It was so weird to me, but they went around and prayed for anyone who wanted God to free their voice so they could shout and break the barrier that was preventing them from giving their whole voice to Him. They would stand in the middle of the room and get prayed for, and then all of a sudden bust out with these crazy screams and were crying and stuff. I thought the police would come because i was sure the neighbors were thinking we were sacrificing children or something. These bongo drums were playing, and it was just weird to me. We and another guy had just gotten done talking about how out of the box these women are, and how we were unsure how true a lot of this "spiritual" stuff really was. Neither of us had really spoken in tongues with any confidence that it was true. None of us were into this whole getting carried away with emotion and screaming or groaning. It was just...i dunno, it didnt seem right to me.

While everyone was taking turning getting prayed for, i just sat there asking God what in the world was going on. I had my head bowed in prayer while everyone else was yelling and praying out loud for the people and being crazy. I was searching for something solid, something real, I was looking for an answer from God. I raised my head once t pray for someone because everyone else was praying...but then I thought, "this is stupid...I dont feel led to pray for her, so im not" and I went back to ask God some more questions. "Who am I? Who do you see me as? I HAVE to know, who am I really without the masks..." I listened while everyone was praying and all I heard was "You are My Leonidas (Spartan king), you are My warrior, you are a fighter, you are MINE and you will not sway for false prophts, you will not sway for lies, you will go boldly, without fear, into battle".....

I sat there for a second....uncomfortable with what i heard....I was afraid it was just me hearing what I wanted to hear. I was afraid it wasnt true, and if i told anyone what I heard, they would just laugh and think i was cocky. As soon as i thought this God hit me with the same thing again. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and this time I saw an image with the word. It was me, in some crazy leather armor, standing on top on this cliff with this sword in my hand. But it wasnt the armor or location or sword that surprised me the most....it was the look on my face. I had ever seen anything like it. I was staring off into the distance, with this look of focus, this look as if i knew something that no one else knew, and I was so utterly confident and determined, and my gaze was focused on something. It was the complete opposite of they way i felt at the moment that it threw me offguard. I didnt feel any of those emotions. I was confused, I was questioning everything and didnt know what i believed. How could this image be true? Before I say what happened next, I'll post what I wrote in my journal leading up to this point, while everyone was praying and shouting:

"Lord, if I am to speak truth.....if that is Your calling on my life, you have to show me the truth first. You have to let me know truth Lord, and give me a boldnes to fight to declare it with confidence.

I find myself hardening myself to some things that im not sure about, and I want to believe what is true, so open my heart to be open to weird and different ways to be filled withYour Spirit.

Lord, You show me....and show me in the way You want. I refuse to fake it, Ive faked it before. This whole screaming thing....Lord, it doesnt stir my spirit. I want to be open to this...but ya know...Lord, my heart is hardened against this right now...I give you all access to this. Ive prayed that if You want this for me, then show me. They are asking people to "Give Him a shout to work with". This doesnt seem real to me Lord, So I'll go when you show me. Am I doing this wrong? Should I just fake it and go against what I'm feeling and then You will show up in that time?"

Those were my prayers before God gave me that image.

During the time God was speaking to me, my buddy, the same one who thinks the same thing I do about all this out of the box spiritual stuff had stood up and walked into the middle of the room. Without knowing what was going on I felt God just slam into me and I was no longer in control. My face immediately turned to him, and I felt this amazing confidence wash over me, and then my jaw loosened and I was no longer looking at Jarrod, I was looking INTO him, and then i started speaking in tongues.....it was the freakiest thing I have ever experienced. I was semi-conscious in the back of my mind, and i remember thinking "what in the world! I cant believe this is actually happening!"

The second God hit me and turned my face towards Jarrod, his legs started shaking, and he told me afterwards that his mouth went dry and his whole body went numb.

I'll share what I wrote afterwards, it pretty much sums up what was going through my head:


"I cant believe what just happened..... Jarrod stood in the middle of the group to receive this prayer. For everyone else, i didnt pray, I didnt feel anything, I refused to even act like I did. I just sat here silently and waited. When Jarrod went up.... I still cant believe this. I have never spoken in tongues, ever, every time I faked and used partial spanish words and thought really hard about which words I would say next so that they didnt sound like the words I just got done saying....but i started praying in tongues.....and this extreme confidence came over me, and i felt this knowing smile spread across my face, and I felt God give me an authority to speak in the language of angels! Freaked me out! Im still thinking "What the hell just happened?" But God gave me a gift so that He could use me. Man....this is crazy. Im still in disbelief! I have never had that happen before.... God was in me...my gaze (His gaze) was piercing Jarrod....and this beautiful tongue language was more than praying, it was declaring! It spoke with authority, it spoke with confidence, it spoke knowing it had power..... and I feel so amazingly strong...I have been given a new tool! My sword! God has left it with me.... it was like He came, took my hand and put a sword in it, showed me what it felt like, trained me, guided me with it, and showed me how to use it, and when it was finished....He left the sword with me! I can speak in tongues with confidence!! Thank You Lord!!


Another thing, when I was speaking in tongues... I wasn't speaking to Jarrod, I was declaring something, I was speaking to something in him, and something in him broke. I felt like I was leading him through prayer. It was when I let God work through me, that I was touched. God channeled through me, and left His mark on me!! Freaking wild, man.


(about ten minutes later i wrote this, sorry about the language)
Holy shit!! Another thing just hit me!!! Yesterday we were supposed to prophesy over each other and I got paired with Nic Barella. He told me that he saw a vision of me standing on top of a mountain, that I was climbing up, and that i needed tools to get there. That God is going to give me the tools needed to get to the top of this mountain, that i will need them. Before i spoke in tongues, I felt God reassuring me that I am his warrior, that I am special, that I am a leader. I didnt remember anything about Nic's prophesy at all, but I saw myself in this armor, sword in hand, at the top of this mountain with this confidence radiating over me! Today i received one of those tools! God IS preparing and equipping me!!"

All of this hit me so fast, i was totally not expecting any of this, and I actually didnt even really believe in most of it. One of the things i have noticed after that moment, is that I have changed. My prayer life in completely different...I cant explain it....its not emotional....but its very personal and intimate....its close. And its constant....we speak about everything.... You cant be touched by God like that, and not be affected.

Well, this post is getting REALLY long, and I have to kick off for now. I hope to tell you about the outreaches we are doing they are REALLY fruitful and God is doing some amazing things through our work here!