Day 152, Bangalore

We gathered together in one of the rooms to pray and have devotion. It was early. We talked about the schedule for the day. We were going to the slums to do a program. We had two hours in the slums and during that time we would do two dramas, play a game with the children, and give a message. When asked who would give a testimony no one answered until called on specifically. Then we asked for someone to give a message. I had told everyone that I wanted to see other people, besides me, sharing messages. No one spoke up. Even after sitting there encouraging and calling on people specifically, no one would speak. Then I found out that it didn't have to be a message for Christians, but for non-believers, that we could simply share the Gospel.....

I told them that it was easy, just share the Gospel, tell The Story! Thats all! Still no one would volunteer. I was, and am, disappointed. We were told that there would be 35-45 people there, and we had an opportunity to share the Treasure that we have found. No one. This was our last opportunity to speak openly like this before our outreach is over. The last chance to share the Gospel to the villages, and I was the only one willing. After the meeting I left with a heavy heart. We have been at this for over 5 months now, and there is still the fear of stepping out and speaking the Truth....I was troubled. I sat on my bed praying, I knew I wasn't God's first choice today. I knew His first choice for someone to share the Gospel with the village was one of the girls. I prayed against the fear. No one came.

At the beginning of the outreach I didn't want to share the Gospel either, I was afraid of not knowing what to say, I didn't like my testimony, I just wanted to work behind the scenes. But then I realized I was missing out on blessings that could be mine. I was so hungry for God's blessing, so hungry to see God do something, but was not willing to preach or speak the Truth that is Christ. When this became apparent to me I decided I wasn't going to subject myself to that fear, I would not let anyone else have the blessing that was meant for me.

God's will will be done.
God's will will be done whether we choose to do it or not.
We have opportunities to do God's will, and there are blessings tied to these.
When we choose to not do His will, He will use someone else, and they will get the blessing.

We got to the village and rounded up the people. There were many children. While speaking to the guide I found out that these people had heard about Jesus, but still worshiped other gods. I knew what the Holy Spirit was guiding me to do, but it was uncomfortable....

We started with some games with the children. "Duck Duck Goose" was the first game. To them, it was actually "Duh duh (and then one REALLY emphasized DUH)". As one of the children made his way around the circle he pushed hard on my head and yelled, "DUH!" (which meant goose). I got up and chased him around the circle. I had taken my sandals off so I could run, and I scraped my toe on the rough ground. As I wiped the blood off my toe I continued and picked someone to chase me. Around the circle we went until I rested in his spot. After I sat down, a little boy, maybe 3 years old, squeezed in next to me. He looked up at me and snuggled in. I smiled and he held out his hand. I put mine hand under his, in an attempt to show him that I cared about him and wanted to hold him. He looked at my hand and then put his under mine, and with the other hand began to trace the lines in my palm. As he examined my hand he noticed the dried blood on one of my fingers. With his finger, a quarter the size of mine, he began to scratch away the dried blood and tried to wipe all the dirt off my hand. I didn't know why he did this...i just sat there in awe as this child showed ME how much he cared about me. He was so captivated with my large white hand covered with dirt and blood that cradled him in my arm.....I only hope he comes to know and be captivated by the large hands covered in dirt and blood that REALLY holds him, and were pierced so his life could be spared.

After the dramas, I grabbed my Bible and stood in the middle of them. From there I spoke about God's love for them, I related it to their love for their children. I told them the Gospel, and about sin and the nature of God. They were listening, their eyes were fixed on me, they were open. As the time ticked away, it came to the point where I knew I had to do what the Holy Spirit had told me to do. I was unsure how they would react, I had never rebuked anyone before, I was afraid that coming against their other gods would make them stop listening and walk away from what God was trying to say to them......I considered this briefly, then pushed through and said what God had put in my mouth. I told them that their other gods were keeping them from having the relationship with God that He desired, that their gods were the sin that separated them from Him. He wanted to bless them, He wanted to show them His love, He wanted to do good things in and through them, but their other gods were stopping this. I told them to repent, to tear down these idols, to give up their other gods and follow the only one true God.....one rolled his eyes and sat back on the rock and smirked....the others were listening.

I led them through the sinner's pray, told them about the Holy Spirit and being joined with other believers. I turned and went to sit down. I was greatly encouraged by the words of those who were listening, they spoke very highly of what was said and told me how great the message was. All I can think about is the little boy who noticed the blood on my hand and tried his best to clean it off.