"Did they do that when they took you down from the cross?"

So last year at Easter our church had a drama and I was asked to play the role of Jesus.  "Uh, yeah.......sure..."  Im not sure if I was allowed to turn down the role, I mean, surely that has to be some kind of sin.  So I said yes and went along with it.  To make the play "real" looking, they commissioned my brother to be the guard that drags Jesus to the cross and nails him to it.  Real funny guys.   I stood backstage as they poured fake blood all over my shirtless torso and arms and painted bruises all over me.  My intro was from the back.....on all fours, with a rope tied around my neck..........Zack was at the other side of the rope, dragging me to the cross.  He played his role VERY well.  It was very realistic and I can understand why the little blonde boy watching thought I was actually nailed to the cross.  As my brother and the other guard kicked and shoved and dragged me to the cross I had an experience that I believe one can only experience in a situation similar to that one, thats a story for another day.  Anyways, up on the cross I went, the nails were hammered in, I hung, and breathed the last breath, only later to make another appearance in white. End of story, yadda yadda yadda.

For months after this, the little blonde boy was deathly afraid of me.  I would see him come running through church, catch a glimpse of me, stop, and turn the other way and take off.  I learned from his mother that he actually believed I was nailed to the cross, and burned in anger towards the ones who put me there. hehe.  I found it a little humorous at first.  When he was in his mother's arms he would talk, mostly ask questions, "Did it hurt when they put you up there?" "Why did they do that?"  His questions were so innocent, and I took the moment as an opportunity to say things about how I did it to pay for your sins and other cheesy Christian phrases, hoping to sear them into his mind, JESUS DIED FOR ME......JESUS PAID FOR MY SINS......JESUS LOVES ME THAT MUCH....... I hoped that would forever be on his mind, but it began to look like it wasn't.......it was ME he saw up there, not Jesus.  And thats how he understood it.  After a while I showed him my hands and tried to explain to him that it wasn't real, that I wasn't hurt and I was just an actor.  He couldn't wrap his mind around it.  The months ticked by, I left for Budapest and came back 6 months later and there he was.  I began to work with his father and would see him from time to time.  Trying to overcome his fear of me, I began to hold my hand out whenever I saw him, offering a high-five.  The first few times he shied away timidly but eventually he grew accustomed to it.  We high-fived.  Finally, after a year of him fearing me, he had finally grown out of his belief that I was a supernatural being who had been hung on the cross and lived to tell about it.  Whenever I would show up to his house to head to work with his father I would see his blonde head pop up in the window looking out over the trucks, waving goodbye.  When we returned from work he would be outside, and this is where our conversations began.   

One day I was talking with his father on the way to work and he told me that his son likes to play "work", and he always asks to be me....... Something churned inside me, I knew there was more to the story and that I would return to this conversation many times to look it over.   "He always wants to be Nyk" "Dad, can I be Nyk?"........ The whole situation seem unbelievable to me.  I had no idea he thought so highly of me, I thought he was deathly afraid of me.....  I would catch him after work in the driveway and he would come talk to me.  He would tell me ALL about him and what he can do.  "I learned how to do this....." and then he would take me into the garage and show me his new skill.  "You want to see?" was always his question.  "You want to see?"........."Of course" I'd reply.  

Just the other day I was speaking with his father in the driveway when he came walking out of the garage.  His father was saying something about how the boy talks about me or tries to act like me or something like that, I can't remember, but I decided to pay special attention to him for a while to see if there was more to this than I was noticing.  The boy started talking to me, telling me about something new of his and he wanted to show me.  I sat on the ground to pet their new puppy, the boy sat there watching.  I put my keys on the ground to play with the puppy.  He said, "You got keys?  I got keys, inside, can I get em, you wanna see my keys? I got keys too."  I was floored..... this kid wants me to see everything about him that resembles................me....  After dashing inside and returning he sat on the ground and just watched me.....  After a couple minutes of me toying around with the puppy, his hand reached up to my face to touch the bar I have through my eyebrow.  "He just touched my....face" I thought.  I look curiously at him and he asked, "Whats that?"  

"Thats an eyebrow ring"  

"How did they do that?" 

 "Well....uh.....then pinched my eyebrow and then stuck a needle through it then put this bar in it."  

"Did it hurt?"

"A little"

"Did they do that when they took you down from the cross?"

Something caught in my throat........this kid still thought that was real..... It wasn't something that he thought of occasionally, it was something that was always on his mind when I was around.  He was cross-focused.  The cross was central to his relationship with me, and everything he did and said to me he did with awe.  There is something about this that wont leave me alone, something about the Kingdom is reflected in this situation that is so true, so real, and I love it.  The story still continues, I still see this boy, and I'm sure I'll have more stories.....

"Did they do that when they took you down from the cross?"

We should all be more like Grandma's house.....

White lines from the road reflected off the window as we drove..... I have this unusual habit of tapping my teeth ever-so-silently keeping time with the lines as they methodically passed by.  My Bible sat unopened on the seat next to me.... I didn't want to put it in my bag, but I knew I had no intention of reading it on the road..... no, my mind was..... elsewhere.

The hours sailed by much like the white lines, finally pulling our vehicle into the familiar driveway of my grandparent's house is Maryland.  They have lived in the same house since I was born.  I eyed the front lawn in the darkness, flooding my memory with countless images of my childhood visits.  I tossed my bag over my shoulder and walked through the front door, instinctively slipping off my shoes before continuing into the kitchen.  The same dolls stared at me through their glass prison on the shelf, showing little enthusiasm at my return.  It had been almost two years since I had visited my grandparents, and yet nothing seemed to have skipped a beat.  The house was warm, inviting, and most of all..... one of the most familiar places I know.  I have moved 6 or so times since my entry into this world.... but their home has been constant.  I arrived too late for them to still be up,  so after a quick glance into the refrigerator (to satiate my hunger to know if they still carried all the same things they ALWAYS house in their icebox, which they did) I headed down the stairs and camped out on the couch.  

The next morning I found my way up the stairs and into the kitchen where my grandfather sat in "his chair" at the table, the crossword puzzle from the daily paper resting half-filled on the table in front of him.  My grandmother made her way around the room to hug me, and my grandfather stood to do the same.  "Nick-Nack" he laughed as his arms wrapped around me, a name he coined for me when I was a child.

I sat at the table and had a look around the room.  Everything was in its place, aside from a few new additions here and there.  My grandparents have the amazing ability to add/update little things around their home, and yet still maintain the same exact atmosphere.  Change is good....

"Who left the light on downstairs?" my grandmother's voice sounded down the hall.

I stifled a smile.... I love that my grandmother never changes!  I poured a glass of sweet tea and leaned back in the chair, taking it all in.  The thing I love about my grandparent's house is that it is always the same and always different and you never tire of it.  Little ornamental cups and glass vessels carried an array of different candies, a favor my grandfather always made sure was filled before we arrived.  

No matter what I did, how I changed or grew physically or mentally, I noticed something.  My grandparents always treated me the same..... exact......way.  There is nothing I could do to ever make them love me more or treat be any better than they already did....and there is nothing I could ever do to make them love me any less.  I will always be welcome in that house, I will always feel invited, always feel comfortable, always feel loved.  I felt the familiar Voice prick my conscience, "What would it look like if EVERYONE were like this house?"

"What WOULD that look like?" my thoughts echoed over the next few days.

What would it look like if everyone were warm and inviting, if everyone loved you no matter what and without any agendas, if there were a place of refuge.  Its a funny thing about us mortals, we seem to spend our whole lives looking for something solid, something concrete and constant so we can anchor ourselves to it, but look in the wrong...... location....realm?  Is that the right word for it?  Its like we stand on the shore....then dive underwater and spend the rest of our time looking for a place to breath.  From the moment I stepped through the front door till the moment I left, worry couldn't touch me.  I spent most of my time "soaking", for those of you who understand what I mean by that.  I was in training.  I have taken up a position that I place great importance on, I will be leading a group of young men for the summer.  Its something I had been praying for, and it fell into my lap, oddly enough, right before I left for Maryland.  I knew that plans had been set for this group before the foundations of the earth were laid, all I had to do was put myself in a position to receive these plans.....which I did.  I smiled as they were quickened to my mind, admiring the wisdom and creativity their Designer had poured into them.  Thumbing through a few scriptures and jotting down a few words in my journal finished up my week.  

I sat in the backyard looking over the rolling fields that touched the grass where my grandparent's old fence used to be.  I filtered through a myriad of memories before settling on one in particular..... I couldn't have been waist high... and my brother, Zack, half of that.  I was pushing Zack in one of those old-school plastic "toddler-swings".....you know what I'm talking about, those red ones with the yellow rope and the yellow, hard plastic, guillotine-style piece that slid down the rope in the front to pinch the skin on your thigh that got in between it and the hole in the seat.....yeah....THAT one.  The rest of the family, all the aunts and uncles sat around in the back yard watching us.....those were the good days when my brother and I were the only grandchildren and got spoiled by everyone......I began pushing him back and forth until I got bored.  This is when I started having fun....who has fun pushing a swing anyways?  I began to spin Zack.  Round and round he went, the ropes twisting into one solid mass, slowly twisting until they joined right above his head........"Nick Nick.......Nick Nick...........NICK NIIIII", the last words left his mouth as a TWANG accompanied my fingers as they left the swing's rope, sending my brother into a spinning frenzy.  He was calling a different name now.....my attention was diverted and I left my younger brother spinning lazily under the large oak.

"Grandma..........Grandpa...........Aunt Sandy.........somebody heeeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeee....." his small voice sung through the backyard as his little arms held tightly onto the rope, straining to pull his head forward which was locked backwards as the force of the spin slung his frame outward.  

As the memory faded I smiled broadly.  It was one of my favorites.  It reminded me of how many times I have found myself spinning out of control when I though I was finally "safe"......yelling "Grandma...........Grandpa........somebody.....anybody......"....and the whole time I'm still right where I need to be, Grandma's Backyard.

I Disobeyed

I was driving home on my way from downtown Nashville when the feeling first hit me.  

You know that feeling... 

Deep down.... it almost feels like you forgot something.... like you know you have broken something priceless and are waiting for someone to find out.... that uneasiness....  

We have all felt it thousands of times in different degrees.

I knew what it meant immediately.  I was headed home where I would throw some clothes in a bag and head off with two girls to Houston for a week.  I knew I was supposed to sit this trip out.  I had planned on going on this trip for a while, I had told several people that I would be coming, I had already canceled/rescheduled a few speaking events....I was set to go.....

....yet I knew I was supposed to stay.  

How many times to we face these decisions..... when we KNOW what we are supposed to do, and still look at the options.  I talked myself into going.

Halfway through the trip I couldn't stop thinking about my situation.  I was in Houston, I knew God wanted me in Nashville.....and there was nothing I could do to change that.  Try as I might to enjoy myself, soak in the hot tub, play guitar, hang out with people.....nothing......I was uneasy.  My spirit was stirring.  I would pick up a book, 5 min later I would put it down and walk to the other end of the house for no reason at all....find something else to do only to quit 5 minutes later and walk somewhere else to find something to do.  I was nervous....troubled..... scared maybe?  What is that feeling called anyway?  I knew I was sorry, and there was nothing to fix it.   

I found myself taking a good look at my heart.  I had been so busy with the "go go go" lifestyle, so busy with friends and family, speaking, meetings and everything else that seems to make our lives more "noisy", that it had been a while since I took a good look at what had been going on in my heart lately.  I noticed something, and I'm not sure what it means.  I'm always looking for a "story" to tell..... no matter whats going on, where I am, whats happening.... I'm always looking for some kind of truth in it, some kind of story to share.  I can't read a book without wondering how I could preach it someday..... man its tiresome....anyways

So I had this heavy feeling the whole time.  I had a particularly bad day a few days before I returned.  You know these days..... where everything seems to go wrong.  In fact, SO many things go wrong that you almost want to laugh with frustration because its just TOO many things messing up to be normal.  This day in particular I was wrestling with some questions, some deep questions.  I had been studying some things in the Bible that were challenging things to wrap your mind around.... I was deep in thought to the point where it almost hurt, I had no answers.  I came to the point where the thought finally came:

 

 "Ya know....I just need to relax.....I need to forget about these things for a while, I'm stressing about these things....I need to turn on some worship music and just rest and come back to these questions when I'm refreshed and have a new go at it."

I was about to do just that when I realized how many times I've done that before and never picked up where I left off.  Was this some kind of suggestion to keep me from wresting with this question?  It was.  I had to press on.  I continued turning it over in my mind....who knew that could be so physically taxing?

I had come to the point where I was wrestling with so many unanswered questions.  I didn't even know if I was a Christian anymore.  I'm not sure how it happened, but it did.....I found what I was looking for. 

It started to rain that night.  Not just a trickle.... but real rain.  I remember lying in bed listening to the rain beat against the window.....I was exhausted, I had been struggling with things all day, wrestling with verses, questioning everything....I was hot, I was worn out, I was tired.....and the rain continued to fall.

It always rains doesn't it?  What does rain have to do with it anyway?

I laid there...at rest.  I felt good, I knew I had completed something.  I hadn't given up, I had struggled and came out on the other side okay.  I had an answer to a question I didn't ask......questions are good....

...questions are good

Sometimes they are difficult and we give up..... but questions are good....they keep us thinking, they keep us sharp, and ya know.... I actually think God loves it when we ask a question.

I'm sitting here wondering why I feel like sharing all this.... it doesn't really speak highly of me.  I think I just want to let you know that everyone has "those days", and not everyone handles them with perfect smoothness, with a gentle spirit and a calm tongue.... I was so worked up that I even questioned my salvation. lol.  No one could have noticed this on the outside, I didn't yell or act much differently, but inside was a warzone.....and Christ is on your side, fighting with you the whole way, always saying, "Don't worry....we're gonna make it.".  You always make it....the battle is already won.    

And the Voice whispered....."The Kingdom"

Soon after my last post, I was talking to one of my friends in Maryland who had gone overseas with me. It started off like every other normal conversation:

"Hey, how are you?"
"I'm great! You?" I replied.
"Pretty good, just getting ready. I leave in 7 hours."
"Oh yeah? Where ya going?"
"....oh, I know this guy in Nashville...." was her answer.

I looked at my watch. It said it was the 10th. My fingers hovered over the keyboard waiting for some kind of a reply to come to my mind.

"Nicholas Huber...."
"I'm sorry!! It crept up on me! I was thinking we were leaving the 14th for some reason."

I had been planning on going to Houston for a while now, but had gotten so busy that it crept up on me without me noticing. In less that 24 hours I would have 2 house guests....I was supposed to speak that night at a church meeting. I spent the next day cleaning the house, thinking about what I would speak about that night. I threw some steaks on the grill right before the two girls arrived. We ate, then one of them accompanied me to the meeting.

As we drove, I mulled over some of the things I had on my heart to talk about. One of them was what was going on in the youth, another was the excitement in the leadership meeting when we spoke about a Creative Worship Sunday.....another was freedom... I noticed something prick my conscience and I listened. The Voice whispered....."The Kingdom". DING DING DING! I knew it was right. All of the things I had on my heart had a central theme, the Kingdom.

The meeting started. About 15 minutes in I started talking about what I was seeing happening around us....what God was at work doing. I have had several people speak to me about what God has put on their heart, and they all seem to be hearing the same thing! I told how Marko had the same thing shown to him, remember that story from a few posts ago? Here is a refresher:

"Marko and I hopped in the truck and began our drive to a pizza shop near the church. Marko broke the silence, "Ya know....I was thinking about it during church and I think I know what God has been putting on my heart.... I think I know what God is calling me to."

I believe God is making His Kingdom known, not church denominations, not religions, not individual revelations, but a widespread movement of opening people's eyes to see His Kingdom for what it really is. It is worth getting excited about. As I shared, Erin spoke up and said "Thats really cool because me and Adam have been praying about where God wants to take these meetings and He put the same thing on our hearts, and starting next week we are going to begin a study on the Kingdom"

Our meeting ran late as everyone shared their thoughts on what we can do to share the Kingdom of God with people. It was amazing!

The next day I was getting ready to leave the house when Jim, one of the worship leaders at church stopped by.

"Are you getting ready to leave?"
"Yeah, I was just about to walk out the door, why, whats up?"
"Man, I gotta tell you a story before you leave...Man, the other day at the leadership meeting....that was amazing. Dude, everyone was flippin' about that! We had an Elder's meeting afterwards and thats what we talked about. It was so cool seeing Don excited about that, he was like, 'Man, Nick was right.' I could sit through meetings like that all day dude."

He sat there talking through moist eyes, excited about what God is doing in our little church. People are getting passionate, people are getting excited, God is speaking to His children, bringing freedom and creativity to His people.

I am in Arkansas right now, about to take off to a nearby bookstore. I leave for Houston in a few days and will return to Nashville on the 19th. I'll keep you all posted about whats going on here.

(To 15yr old Anna from NLA, I've heard about you and would love to meet you when I return. Drop me an e-mail, I've got some questions for ya.)

Freedom.... exciting?

I was driving back from Miami with a friend, somewhere in-between Ft Lauderdale and Atlanta when I finally picked up my phone and called Marko. We had spoken the day before and had decided to pray about what God had planned for us to speak with the youth about. I had been listened for some time now, and decided to see if Marko had heard the same....

"So... get anything?"

"Yeah.... I got 'freedom'...", he replied.

"Heh....no way. I've had my mind on the same thing."

We spoke for a few more minutes and I continued driving.

"White cafe mocha please." I told the girl behind the counter at Starbucks. Me and Marko grabbed a table and sat down, Bibles in hand with a blank notebook page. We had done it before... we pray... we hear... it goes down on paper.... then we speak about what is written. So what exactly did He have planned for the youth? We had been thinking about it all week. We had a broad topic.... how do we speak about freedom in an hour and a half?

I took the notebook and started us off:

April 9, 2008

        Plans for Youth: Freedom

We didn't have much to add to that!  We sat there thinking about freedom, trying to pinpoint how to start such an amazing topic.  I thought about different entries into the topic, how would we start.... an image came to my mind of us before the youth.. "You were bound.... now you have freedom through Christ...." 

 I could image their glossy eyes and unspoken questions, "Bound by what....I don't feel bound... why are they so excited....free through Christ..... aww man! I remember that time I got that dog leash wrapped around my ankles.....bound.... I miss that dog.... we should get another dog..... Ashton just got a dog and it tore a hole in her brother's jeans....I bet he got those jeans from American Eagle... so-and-so shops there a lot.... I need a car so I can go shopping.... I need a job to buy a car.... or I can use mom's car and use the money from the job to go shopping with...."  and I could see their attention being diverted.

Bound by what...whom...and freedom from what?  I knew thats where we had to start.  You can't receive freedom unless you know you are bound by something.  To the notebook we went:

April 9, 2008

 Plans for Youth: Freedom

        Freedom from what?

              -fear

              -sin              

             -death

We had a beginning.  I knew that for us to live in freedom, we need to understand the bondage.  Revelation of the bondage, of the flesh, always comes before divine revelation.....it is the revelation of our bondage that humbles us for salvation..... and gets us passionate about our freedom.

I laid an old leather journal of mine on the table between our coffees and thumbed through the pages.  I had some notes on the subject in there somewhere.  I found it and read it out to Marko:

"Not everyone, by any means, has had the experiences of the seventh of Romans, that agony of conflict.  It is a great blessing when a person begins to realize the awful conflict of his struggle and defeat.  Of all the needy classes of people, the neediest of this earth are not those who are having a heartbreaking, agonizing struggle for victory, but those who are having NO struggle at all and NO victory, and who do not know it and who are satisfied and jogging along in a pitiable absence of almost all the possessions that belong to them in Christ."   -Dr. Scofield

This took me to Romans 5.  Six hours later we were exhausted.... yet excited.  We drove to the church, turned down the lights, Marko went in the back to make some coffee, and I stood there inking a few things on the whiteboard.  As the youth filtered in and sat down I finished up drawing a few symbols on the board and Marko walked in.  We began with a few minutes of prayer, and then told them what all we had planned for the night.  

"It all started with the fall of man.....Adam...." I began.

I continued on, explaining what happened when Adam fell....what happened to us....do you know?

"When Adam sinned, sin entered the entire human race. Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. Yes, people sinned even before the law was given. And though there was no law to break, since it had not yet been given, they all died anyway-even though they did not disobey an explicit commandment of God, as Adam did." (Romans 5:12-14a)

When Adam fell, we fell, when he sinned, we sinned because we were joined to Adam.  We were born into this sin, born into this bondage...... we have been living in it so long....our whole life to be exact, and have become used to it....to the point that we dont even know it exists anymore.  I continued with Adam's story... our story....them I told them about Christ and His role in our freedom.

Christ lived this perfect life free from this bondage, He took our place, switched roles with us, so that when He died....we died with Him, when He rose, we rose with Him.

"My old self has been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.  So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

"Or have you forgotten that when we became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus, we died with him? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised as he was." Romans 6:3-5

We have this freedom from sin now, and we have to understand this.... knowing this is crucial to living in the freedom that is in Christ.  Marko used a story to illustrate this:

"Back in the Vietnam War some American soldiers were taken hostage and made into slaves.  They continued in bondage to their masters.  The war ended....but the continued working.  They didn't know that they were free, and the man that they were slaves to didn't tell them because he knew the moment they found out the war was over....they were free.  It wasn't until much later that someone told them that the war was over and that they no longer had to be slaves."

The whole time after the war was over.....they were free!!  Yet they continued living in that bondage because they didn't know they were free.  We spoke for a while after this about how Christ took our place in bondage....died....and rose again because He could not be bound by the power of sin and death.  We basically taught the rest of Romans 5:

"What a contrast between Adam and Christ, who was yet to come! And what a difference between our sin and God's generous gift of forgiveness. For this one man, Adam, brought death to many through his sin. But this other man, Jesus Christ, brought forgiveness to many through God's bountiful gift. And the result of God's gracious gift is very different from the result of that one man's sin. For Adam's sin led to condemnation, but we have the free gift of being accepted by God, even though we are guilty of many sins.

The sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over us, but all who receive God's wonderful, gracious gift of righteousness will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ. Yes, Adam's one sin brought condemnation upon everyone, but Christ's one act of righteousness makes all people right in God's sight and gives them life.  Because one person disobeyed God, many people became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many people will be made right in God's sight.

God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful kindness became more abundant.

So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God's wonderful kindness rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

As time began to run out we tried to wrap up.  I asked them if they think they understood, or if they wanted us to continue on the same subject next week.  They asked us to speak more about it next week.  As they gathered their things and got ready to leave, one of the boys said, "Man, this was the best youth group meeting we have ever had...."  they talked among themselves for a minute.  

Amidst the conversations I hear, "This was awesome... God spoke to me for the first time during this meeting"

God is still speaking, and He has a lot to say....

Day by Day

The morning sun pierced through the blinds sending a finger of light across my eyes. I rolled over, rubbed my face and wondered if I was going to make it to church on time. My friend, Marko, walked into the room with a smile on his face. "Ya ready man?". I sat up, walked into the bathroom and showered real quick before we got in the truck and headed for church.

I walked into the sanctuary, grabbed my seat, and waited for service to start. Another Sunday, another service, same people.....
As worship began I allowed my mind to wander.... no particular direction in mind.... I just relaxed and kinda allowed God to bring whatever He wanted to to my mind. As time passed, so did the thoughts....one by one different thoughts kept popping up in my head, new ministries, new ways of doing the same things, different approaches to the same task. I took a step outside what I was thinking about and marveled at the creativity that worship inspires. Looking back on all the other Sundays, all the other worship services, I've realized that it is then...... in that moment..... that moment of praise and worship.... that I feel the most creative and hear God the clearest. But it was just another Sunday, another service, same people....... and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...

After service, just like every other service, everyone walked around talking to the same friends, just like every other Sunday. As I made my way around the sanctuary talking to everyone I began to realize how much I love the church..... not the building, not the service, not Sunday..... not what we see when we look at the "church", but the real Church, the Bride of Christ, the church as God sees it..... the Church as Satan sees it..... the church that is rooted in eternity, more powerful than any army, stronger than any other force the enemy can muster....... I've fallen in love....

Marko and I hopped in the truck and began our drive to a pizza shop near the church. Marko broke the silence, "Ya know....I was thinking about it during church and I think I know what God has been putting on my heart.... I think I know what God is calling me to." We continued to talk until we arrived at the pizza shop. It was a conversation I have had with many people before, and I am beginning to realize something..... God isn't doing business like He used to..... our Father is pouring out a new wine, and He is calling those who will hear His voice to prepare the "new wineskins". The Kingdom is what He is putting on my heart, Marko's heart....and many others who I have spoken with. The Kingdom of Heaven is what Christ taught. This is what has been my passion for a while now. If we saw the Kingdom for what it really is..... is it actually possible to continue living our lives without the direction of the Spirit? I don't know.... this is still a new revelation to me.... I am just seeing the same thing springing up in the hearts of those God is joining me to.... the same passion, the same calling, the same Love....

I'm not sure what God has planned, but I have this deep feeling..... you know that feeling.... kinda like that feeling in the air before a summer thunderstorm..... God is about to pour out something amazing, something that will blow our minds, and He has already started, His plan is in motion, He is equipping and calling His children to a new level of intimacy with Him. I'm not the only one....many others have described the same feeling to me. Im excited! I have this amazing peace I've never experienced before.

Every morning I wake up....a new day, same people.... and I love every moment of it. I find myself in some kind of conversation with someone everyday that is meaningful to me. I always walk away thinking "Wow....thank You....." I still can't understand it, but everyday is the same, yet completely different. Its the same in that God does something daily to blow my mind, in that I always have an opportunity to share with someone about how much God loves them, how much He cares, and how real He really is. This is something that happens every day now.....which used to NEVER happen to me. Just today I went to work and a guy was there whom I have worked with before I left for Budapest. He never really liked me... he actually disliked me. As the day progressed, in the middle of one of our conversation he stopped me, "Man....you have changed, God has gotten ahold of your life....". I didn't say anything, I just kinda looked back with thanksgiving at what God has done for me.... Later in the conversation I was talking about a couple of meeting that I would be speaking at this week and he replied, "Man....you continue on like this and you will be doing a lot more than just speaking at meetings....you have been speaking to me all day about this stuff..." At the end of the day it seemed that any grievances that had been between us were completely gone, we had talked about a lot of things that we have gone through in our lives and how God had always been faithful in those moments. I wont say everything that happened, I'm not sure he would appreciate it, but it was good. He told me at the end that he hadn't tithed in a long time, and that while we were talking he decided that he wanted to start giving me what he would have tithed to go towards my trip to the medical missions school in Guatemala in October. I couldn't believe it.... 7 months ago this man really disliked me....now he was wanting to help me. Man.... I am in awe.... little miracles like this make me fall deeper in love with my Father everyday....

Well....these are some pretty scattered thoughts. Little random thoughts from the past couple of days. A lot of people have kept asking me to continue posting, and I find it keeps me motivated. So enjoy! I really love you guys a lot.... I can't even explain it, but you guys....man, you all are great.

I still got it...

I've been back three weeks now. Spoken at various meetings, shared my story with just about everyone who cares to hear, and some who dont. The first week home was the most difficult. I remember telling my team how much I missed American food and how I was going to gain 20 pounds the first week home. I had a list of over 200 things I was going to eat when I came home. One of the top things on this list was a steak... closely followed by ice cream cake and Quizno's subs.

The party that was planned for me when I got home included the ice cream cake and sub. I took small portions.... To be honest, I ate what I did out of obligation. I had lost my appetite. The next morning was Sunday church. Afterwards I found myself at Cracker Barrel where I ordered the steak. The waitress put the plate in front of me and I sat there for a few minutes poking the steak around the plate before cutting off a corner a setting it inside my mouth. It tasted amazing....but still....i had to force feed myself the rest of it.... I just couldn't eat... This continued for the whole week, I don't know why, but I just couldn't allow myself to enjoy my time here. I was so used to only having the necessities, it was difficult being able to have delicacies that make life more enjoyable....and for some, more bearable. I remember walking down the aisle of Wal-Mart and looking at all of the things that I "could" have, but didn't exactly need. It was a difficult transition, but I seem to be doing better now.

I picked up the youth leader position again alongside my best friend (or "runnin' buddy", as my pastor calls it) Marko. We have been doing a lot of praying for the youth as we prepare to lead them on a mission trip to Mexico. Last week we sat down on the bed with a blank piece of paper, asked the Lord to prepare our hearts to hear His voice, and then waited silently in expectation. We needed to know how to prepare the youth for this trip...what did He have planned for us to speak about...

I took a quick examination of the status of my heart, what had been going on in there the past few weeks, and listened to hear if God was quickening anything to my mind. All I could hear was the breathing of Marko and I as we sat there listening.

....."Prayer...this is the foundation".... I recognized His voice and a smile spread across my face. I looked up and shared with Marko what I had heard, he smile in agreement. Our meeting with the youth would be about prayer...

From there ideas and instructions trickled into our time of prayer like little puzzle pieces until we had a complete picture of what God had planned for the youth. We excitedly wrote down all that we had heard, and then moved into the other room to type the handout we had come up with. It was amazing! As I sat there going over in my head all that we had heard, I thought about how the youth would receive what we would teach them. Prayer...i remember as a youth what I thought about prayer, I remember the way I would roll my eyes when I was told we would have a meeting on prayer.... It wasn't until this point in my life that I understand the reality of what prayer is, and the power that it carries. I thought about the importance and life that comes from prayer.....then wondered....

"Why is it that the most valuable, important, intimate part of our relationship with our Father is the most neglected, misunderstood, dreaded, and 'boring' part of our life?"

Marko nodded in agreement, "You just answered your own question, it is BECAUSE it is the most valuable and intimate part of our relationship that it is the most neglected and misunderstood part of our life"

I knew what he was getting at.... prayer is one of the most dangerous tools against the kingdom of darkness, so of course the enemy is going to try to take this defense out first. As we put the meeting together, we knew it would be really foundational in preparing for this trip.

The meeting went great. Amidst the bored faces and glazed eyes, there were a few who had really listened, a few who took the teaching seriously and would follow through with the exercises we had given them for the week. I would follow along with them also as I prayed for the youth and God's favor on them throughout the week.

On Friday morning I arrived at the airport a few hours before I would have liked to wake up. I called the guy I had talked to on the phone a few days earlier, whom I had never met. He met me at the door and we got my ticket and climbed into the plane. His name was Darby, a friend of a friend who had contacted me to help him with a job opportunity that had come up in Miami. The plane took off and a few hours later we touched down in Miami. As the Miami sun beat down on my face I thought to myself "Hmm...what a wild trip this will be.... I dont even know these people!"

We climbed into a cab that drove us to Bay Harbor where we would spend the next few days. We pulled up to the million dollar house and walked in. An older lady introduced herself to me as Jamie, and shortly afterwards a man, Alex, arrived. Jamie and Alex were Buddhists, and throughout the day we could hear them chanting and ringing bells in front of this little shrine. Darby and I had been asked to come down and load up her possessions in a truck and drive it back to Nashville. For the next couple of days I watched them live their lives as Buddhists, and suffer the void that comes along with it. I had been following the specific things that we had asked to youth to pray about during the list. Our last morning there I thought back about what we had decided to pray about that day...."Pray that God gives you an opportunity to share your faith with someone". I prayed the prayer, and then asked God to help the youth with this prayer and then set off to finish off some last minute things before we left. Darby had to drive Jamie to the bank, and me and Alex would stay behind to wrap one more thing...

Alex sat down on the couch, I took a seat next to him. "So, Alex, how long have you lived in the States?" ....and so the conversation began. We talked about life in the States, life in his native country, Buddhism, his relationship with Jamie....and finally I asked him..."Has anyone ever told you about Jesus.....not the religious, outdated, oil painting Jesus on the wall of old Sunday school classes.....but the REAL Jesus?" He looked at me and said he had heard of Jesus but believed that praying to the universe and himself didn't stop him from accepting Jesus. A few minutes later my new brother was bowed in prayer, asking Jesus to change his life. WOOOHOOO!!! He began asking me questions about God and asking me to help him prayer about specific things in his life and for specific people he knew. As the door handle rattled, notifying us of Darby and Jamie's arrival, he looked at me with his moistened eyes and said "Thank you....you dont know how much I needed this" I whispered, "I think I do....." Darby and I grabbed a few last things and headed out the door. Alex hugged my neck and thanked me again. As Darby and I climbed up into the truck, Darby asked me, "What did you and Alex talk about?"

I smiled and said that we talked about his life and a few different things. "Why, whats up?"

"He looked different", he replied.

I smile and told him I had told Him about Jesus and that we had prayed together about some things. Darby said that he had noticed that his countenance had changed, and he was right. Alex was a new man! After 20 or so hours of driving, I am home again. I was able to have dinner with Esther, one of my favorite girls in the world who spent the last six months with me overseas as we drove through Atlanta.

I am excited to hear the stories of the youth as they report how God has answered their prayers this week! I'll keep you guys updated!

Processing.....

"You ready?" Hal Young asked me as he walked onto the middle floor.

I had been up all night by myself in the common room of the middle floor. It was 6:00am. All of my earthly possessions were crammed into the suitcases that sat on the floor. I had been dreading this moment for a long time. I was the first one of my team to leave...

"....yeah, lemme go say goodbye."

I walked up the stairs and all of my girls were up....some of which had been up all night also. I heard a pained moan from one of them as I walked into the room...some already had tears in their eyes. I had decided before I came up, "You won't cry". I lied. One by one they stood up and hugged me. I have done some difficult things in my life, but I can't think of anything that was more difficult than letting go of those girls after each embrace.

"Alright, lets go", I whispered to the floor as I walked past Hal.

Hal and I grabbed my luggage and headed down to the car. It was raining...are goodbyes always in the rain? The girls stood at the gate for one last hug before I got into the car. I took one last look at them, then bowed my head as we pulled away. The ride to the airport was silent. I missed them before I even stepped on the plane to London.

It was an easy flight to London, the attendants even spoke English! As I got off the plane and stood in line to go through customs, I could understand everyone's conversations....it was so...weird. They were loud, they spoke matter-of-factly about things which they obviously had no clue about. Good morning Westerners. I barely caught my plane to Chicago. I found my seat. On very last row of the plane, next to a girl from the States, would be my home for the next 9 hours. I remember the plane rides over to Budapest....I didn't say a word to anyone. Now I couldn't shut up. We talked for hours. She was an art major in college and had gone to London as an intern. We ended up talking about God, Creation, art as a reflection of God, and what I saw while I was overseas....she wasn't a Christian, or at least she wasn't when I first met her.

I got out the leather journal I had kept during my time in Egypt and India. In it were recorded all the amazing things that God had done in and through me. As I fingered through the pages I was overwhelmed with how much God had blessed me... The words of one of the girls from my team echoed in my ears, "Nick, God's favor has been so strong in your life." I chewed over these words...I had been favored by God... Did I really understand the depth of this? I don't think I will ever fully comprehend the blessings that were poured out in my life because God had favored me. Me...of all people...who am I to deserve this? I cant describe the emotion, other than a mix between being thankful and being in a state of awe. I began to pray. I thanked Him, and then did something I had learned the past few months of my life. I asked God to bless me today... "Father...do something supernatural for me today, show me how much You love me, bless me..."

I didn't exactly understand why, but when I looked at the little screen on the seat in front of me it said we were over some islands in northern Canada. I looked out the window and sure enough, there were huge icebergs and cracked ice covering the ocean. I had never seen it before, it was beautiful.

As we pulled into Chicago, the runway was covered in snow. It has been a while since I had seen snow...I still disliked it as much as I did before. As I got through customs and rechecked my bags, I looked at my watch. I still had 2 hours before my flight would take off. My stomach churned, reminding me it had been a long time since I had eaten. I had absolutely no money at all, zero, and no way of getting any. I looked at the situation and decided I would just be content, I would eat in 4 or so hours, there is no sense in getting frustrated. I sat down in a quiet corner of the terminal and started to play my guitar (softly so no one would be bothered). A black man came and sat down a few chairs away. Another complete stranger. For some reason I have found some kind of comfort in talking to people I have never met before. So I started talking to him. He wasn't much of a talked, he was kinda quiet. He pulled out a large cup of french fries....my mouth watered, I went back to playing the guitar. A few minutes later he hands me the fries...he had only eaten half of them. I couldn't believe it! I hungrily devoured the fries and thanked him. Again, back to the guitar I went. The he pulled some hotwings out of the paper bag. He ate a few and handed me the rest.... I remembered the prayer I had prayed on the plane...here was the blessing I had asked for. This man knew nothing about me, he had no reason to give me half of his food....but he did. For those who are reading this from my team...HOTWINGS! Can you believe that?! For months and months all I ever talked about was how the first thing I was going to eat when I got home was hotwings! I missed hotwings so bad! Here God not only provided me with something to eat, but gave me EXACTLY what I wanted!

The robotic female voice buzzed through the speakers, announcing that my flight would be leaving shortly. I glanced up at the gate number...I was at the wrong gate! I picked up my guitar, and shook the man's hand. As he leaned forward to grab my hand, a small cross on a silver chain slipped out of his shirt. I smiled and made my way to my plane. God had brought me to the wrong gate, to sit in a seat where a kind man would soon sit next to me, carrying exactly the meal I wanted. I was blessed and I knew it.

As my plane touched down in Nashville, I suddenly became aware of the fact that I had been awake for more than 48 hours. I walked out the terminal and was greeted by many many friends and family welcoming me "home". We collected the bags and I was whisked away to different places before ending up at a friend's house where a party had been planned. It was so good to see everyone....I just wish I wasn't about to pass out from exhaustion.

So I'm back in Nashville, and I'm bored. Actually....it looks like most people in the States are bored. America...the land where the elderly get jobs at Wal-Mart and Krogers not because they need money...but because they are bored.....where everything is insured in case we find ourselves in a spot where we might have to trust in something other than money or our ability to provide for ourselves. Even with everything that I seem to be struggling with culturally here...I still love my country.

Well, my little sister and a few of her friends just came into the room and sang me a song they have written and asked me to come up with some music to go along with it. So I'm gonna jet, but I'll post again soon about what I have experienced since coming "home".

Day 167, Budapest

Back in Budapest, my second home. I wont take too much time to write, as I'm quite tired and will head to bed in a second. I'm safe, I'm settled, Im not ready to pack again and head home on Saturday. Its crazy being back in civilzation again, after so long in Egypt and India. Being able to drink tap water, not having to worry about whether or not there is water to shower with, being able to read the menus at restaurants. So nice.

I arrived last Saturday, and have had meeting after meeting since I've been here. There are so many stories to tell to so many people. I have been constantly doing something ever since I have arrived. This had made it pretty difficult to find time to just talk with God....In India I HAD to depend on Him to provide for us and our needs, to speak through us, to go before us and prepare us. I was contantly in prayer because I needed to...I HAD to, or our ministry would nosedive. Once arriving here in Budapest, there was no long the NEED to pray so much or read or seek His guidance....or so I thought. With the crazy schedule and all the friends I hadn't seen in so long buzzing at my "to do" list, my devotional time took the back burner. After a few days of back burner devotions I had an interesting feeling.... All day I just didn't feel right, I kept thinking, "I really need to pray for a while....I really need to read some....". All day this was on my mind as I traveled through the city to and from different places. I was aware I needed to get away for a bit to spend some time with God. That night I found this time. As I sat down I felt relaxed, finally. I picked up my little leather journal and began writing my prayer, (I write most of my prayers). After the first few sentenced I put the pen down and moved the journal so the tears wouldn't spot the page. What was happening? It hit me like a brick, one of the most beautiful revelations of my life. I looked back over the last few sentences and smiled. I had seen those words before, I had written them before, but never to God...

"I have realized how easy it is to put my relationship with You on the back burner. This worries me. I don't want to just have 'prayer' times, I desire to be in constant conversation with You. I dont want my life to be about just me...when I think about my life, I want to think about me AND You. I desire for You to be a huge part of my everyday...I can't live without You. I've begun to fall in love with You. Its been a few days since I have had a deep conversation with You, and today I've had this sinking feeling in my heart much like you get when your loved one had been away for a while and you dont feel 'whole'. I have to have time with You or I don't feel complete....I miss You"

I realized that I had written those words to someone I was in love with, and the sinking feeling was very similar.... I began to realize that not only did I love God.....but I've fallen IN love with Him.... to the point when I don't feel "whole" when I haven't had some time with Him in a while. It is an amazing feeling to be able to come to such a realization. Its like when you spend a lot of time with someone, and they grow on you, and you love them....then you realize that you are IN love with the person and you get those butterflies in your stomach when you think about it and you keep repeating "The Phrase" over and over in your mind because its amazing to think about, and it feels good to hear yourself say it...you know the phrase, you have all said it........"I'm in love......I...I....I can't believe.....I....I have actually fallen in love with this guy/girl". Its not a choice you made, its not something you are forced into....its that amazing realization that you HAVE been in love for a while and have only noticed it just then. So this was an amazing part of my week, to realize that my relationship with the Lord has gone past the stage of viewing Him as the bearded guy in white with His arms open in poorly painted pictures in old wooden frames in church lobbies, to the God I have fallen in love with, Who I enjoy having a cup of coffee with, Who actually cares about all the little things in my life, Who 'completes' my day.

So I have one more day here in Budapest, then leave early the next morning. I am excited to come home.

Day 159, Goa

I'm okay. I'm alive, no broken bones, in good health, and im filled with joy.
After a short flight from Bangalore we arrived in Goa, India. As the jeep took us further north and through all the fields and dirt roads I began to wonder what kind of world I was entering. There were many middle-aged men and women who wore the baggy clothes and dreadlocks that are the signature of hippies. Apparently many of these people are former businessmen who come to Goa for vacation and never go home. There is something exotic in the air in Goa. We pulled down the dirt road to the house we would we staying in. Tucked back nicely in the woods is our nice little "resort". Im a two minute walk from the beach. There are some pretty nice things I have learned and seen in Goa, and it has been an amazing experience and debriefing. I'll write all these later.

With all that said...Two days ago I was in a motorcycle accident. (re-read first line of post). While in Goa I have had a motorcycle. I was out one night just exploring and enjoying the ride. I was zipping around a corner and went to take a right hand turn (they drive on the left side of the street). I leaned into the turn and realized I was headed straight for a truck. I tucked in and leaned harder to take the turn sharper and pass inbetween the truck and the wall. I turned too hard, me and the bike hit the pavement and skidded across the road. Dont worry, the bike is only a little scratched. I am fine, no broken bones. I have some pretty bad roadrash on my hands, back, hip, shoulder, knee, and ankle. It will heal nicely. And for the worried moms...im sorry, but no, I was not wearing a helmet. They aren't available.

On a lighter note, after dressing the wounds and sleeping a night, I was back on the bike the following day and haven't had another upset. I have enjoyed my time here. We leave tomorrow morning for Mumbai, where we will catch a plane to Italy, and then after a while, another one back to Budapest. Then it's only a week before I come home! I'll post again in a few days, just some random stories and thoughts. Then I'll be there to tell you all in person!

Day 152, Bangalore

We gathered together in one of the rooms to pray and have devotion. It was early. We talked about the schedule for the day. We were going to the slums to do a program. We had two hours in the slums and during that time we would do two dramas, play a game with the children, and give a message. When asked who would give a testimony no one answered until called on specifically. Then we asked for someone to give a message. I had told everyone that I wanted to see other people, besides me, sharing messages. No one spoke up. Even after sitting there encouraging and calling on people specifically, no one would speak. Then I found out that it didn't have to be a message for Christians, but for non-believers, that we could simply share the Gospel.....

I told them that it was easy, just share the Gospel, tell The Story! Thats all! Still no one would volunteer. I was, and am, disappointed. We were told that there would be 35-45 people there, and we had an opportunity to share the Treasure that we have found. No one. This was our last opportunity to speak openly like this before our outreach is over. The last chance to share the Gospel to the villages, and I was the only one willing. After the meeting I left with a heavy heart. We have been at this for over 5 months now, and there is still the fear of stepping out and speaking the Truth....I was troubled. I sat on my bed praying, I knew I wasn't God's first choice today. I knew His first choice for someone to share the Gospel with the village was one of the girls. I prayed against the fear. No one came.

At the beginning of the outreach I didn't want to share the Gospel either, I was afraid of not knowing what to say, I didn't like my testimony, I just wanted to work behind the scenes. But then I realized I was missing out on blessings that could be mine. I was so hungry for God's blessing, so hungry to see God do something, but was not willing to preach or speak the Truth that is Christ. When this became apparent to me I decided I wasn't going to subject myself to that fear, I would not let anyone else have the blessing that was meant for me.

God's will will be done.
God's will will be done whether we choose to do it or not.
We have opportunities to do God's will, and there are blessings tied to these.
When we choose to not do His will, He will use someone else, and they will get the blessing.

We got to the village and rounded up the people. There were many children. While speaking to the guide I found out that these people had heard about Jesus, but still worshiped other gods. I knew what the Holy Spirit was guiding me to do, but it was uncomfortable....

We started with some games with the children. "Duck Duck Goose" was the first game. To them, it was actually "Duh duh (and then one REALLY emphasized DUH)". As one of the children made his way around the circle he pushed hard on my head and yelled, "DUH!" (which meant goose). I got up and chased him around the circle. I had taken my sandals off so I could run, and I scraped my toe on the rough ground. As I wiped the blood off my toe I continued and picked someone to chase me. Around the circle we went until I rested in his spot. After I sat down, a little boy, maybe 3 years old, squeezed in next to me. He looked up at me and snuggled in. I smiled and he held out his hand. I put mine hand under his, in an attempt to show him that I cared about him and wanted to hold him. He looked at my hand and then put his under mine, and with the other hand began to trace the lines in my palm. As he examined my hand he noticed the dried blood on one of my fingers. With his finger, a quarter the size of mine, he began to scratch away the dried blood and tried to wipe all the dirt off my hand. I didn't know why he did this...i just sat there in awe as this child showed ME how much he cared about me. He was so captivated with my large white hand covered with dirt and blood that cradled him in my arm.....I only hope he comes to know and be captivated by the large hands covered in dirt and blood that REALLY holds him, and were pierced so his life could be spared.

After the dramas, I grabbed my Bible and stood in the middle of them. From there I spoke about God's love for them, I related it to their love for their children. I told them the Gospel, and about sin and the nature of God. They were listening, their eyes were fixed on me, they were open. As the time ticked away, it came to the point where I knew I had to do what the Holy Spirit had told me to do. I was unsure how they would react, I had never rebuked anyone before, I was afraid that coming against their other gods would make them stop listening and walk away from what God was trying to say to them......I considered this briefly, then pushed through and said what God had put in my mouth. I told them that their other gods were keeping them from having the relationship with God that He desired, that their gods were the sin that separated them from Him. He wanted to bless them, He wanted to show them His love, He wanted to do good things in and through them, but their other gods were stopping this. I told them to repent, to tear down these idols, to give up their other gods and follow the only one true God.....one rolled his eyes and sat back on the rock and smirked....the others were listening.

I led them through the sinner's pray, told them about the Holy Spirit and being joined with other believers. I turned and went to sit down. I was greatly encouraged by the words of those who were listening, they spoke very highly of what was said and told me how great the message was. All I can think about is the little boy who noticed the blood on my hand and tried his best to clean it off.

Day 151, Bangalore

Our time here in Bangalore is quickly coming to an end. We leave in 6 days and head to Goa, India. We have been here for one week and have only done a handful of things. Medical outreach, children's programs, I only preached once, threw a Valentine's Day program, done our dramas a few times for different church programs, led worship at a church... It hasn't been too busy, but my faith has been strengthened more in this past week than it ever has! I came looking for huge salvations and healing miracles to build my faith, but these I haven't seen this week. So what has caused this back-burned relaxed week of ministry to be my most strengthening week, and the week to build my faith the most?

It began as I had time to look at my thoughts. Before this week I had been a real student of the Word, I was memorizing verses left and right and really enjoying it. But something had happened and I had lost this passion. I had noticed that in my heart I had put up walls to a few of my team members...outwardly I wasn't mean to them, but in my heart I didn't like them as much as the others and preferred to not be around them if I had the choice. As I would go out to do a ministry somewhere I began to question myself....over and over again..."Do you really care Nick?"....."Does it matter to you whether or not these people go to heaven or hell?"....."Do these people matter to you.....REALLY matter?"....."Nick.....do you actually CARE!"

"Of course I do, I'm here aren't I", I would start.

All of this was sparked from a story I read about a man who was faced with a similar question. The more I asked myself, the more irritated I got with the question, until finally the answer came...

No...

I felt embarrassed, a little shamed, I was confused and troubled....I have been here preaching and living the Gospel for all to see, but only because I desired to do it because it was God's desire for me to be here and do this. I was enjoying it, but not as much as I could have.

Right before we took the train here to Bangalore I had hit a dry spot in my passion for putting the Word of God on my heart. We have all felt this. As I meditated on my hardened heart towards a few of my team members, my dry spot for the Word, my lack of REAL concern and love for these people, I was moved to pray.....this time not for our ministry, not for the Indians or the children, not for my team....but for ME. The prayers were simple, and I wrote my concerns and prayers in my journal. The events that happened the following days shook my heart and spirit as I realized what had happened.

The next day I found myself alone and with little to do, I picked up my Bible and began to skim some pages to pass the time. As I read I became so entranced by what I was reading....I was ALIVE, my Spirit was stirred and I read and read...these past few days I have read 4 books I've never read before all the way through. My time in the Word is the highlight of my day again.....

One of the team members I had hardened my heart towards came to me and shared how they were struggling with some of the other team members, how he felt alone and couldn't wait for this outreach to be over....I was moved to compassion for him and in my heart I felt the wall break down, he has been my closest companion ever since and the Lord has used me to build him up and encourage him, even provide his needs when I was blessed with an abundance once. "Do you really care, Nick?"

One day around lunch I was separated from my team doing some things I needed to get done. I wasn't in a great mood as I was pondering the status of my heart and some other news I had received that troubled me. I was hungry and decided that I didn't want the food I had with me. I walked to a restaurant close by, alone, desiring to grab some food to go and retire to my room to eat in silence. As I walked in the restaurant I saw the other two members in line that I had put up walls against. I walked up behind them and got my food. "For here or to go?"....I hesitated..."I'll eat here". I took a seat with the two and had a wonderful time with them. I really enjoyed my lunch and the fellowship I had with them. I did the same thing the following night. "Do you really care, Nick?"

As we walked to the place where we would do our children's program, I began to ponder what kind of life they lived, what their everyday looked like, what they thought about the King I serve....did they really know who He was? As I sat with them....i just loved them. As I was called to the front I made my way through the children, they all looked up at me as I picked my way through them....they grabbed my hands....they all reached up just trying to touch me. Again I was moved to compassion...."Do you really care, Nick?"

The day before, we sat in a cool, concrete room. As I waited for the college students to pour in I picked through the message I had in mind. Why did I choose to speak about this particular subject... as I shared with them how to live in the Spirit, how to have Him live THROUGH you, how to live in a world surrounded by worldly things and still see God and live in a deep relationship with.... as I look around the room at these students.....I spoke with compassion....."Do you really care, Nick?"....."Yes...I actually do..."

As I realized what had happened I was moved to tears. I had done nothing of myself to promote any of these changed....but I am different. I am in awe....I asked God to encourage me in my reading, I prayed that He would give me His compassion, I prayed that he would change my heart towards my team members....and He DID!! In two days He completely changed the status of my heart, and I realized that this is simply because I asked Him too!

Too often we go through life without challenging what we are thinking, without asking for God to change US. When faced with a problem we usually hear, "Lord, please change them, help them to understand, help them to see how they irritate me and how you really desire for them to be". No...It was different this time... "Lord, change ME!"...."Lord, bless ME!"....PICK ME!!! My faith has been strengthened more than ever not because I saw some healing miracle or God answered a prayer for someone to be saved.....but because I prayed that God would change the status of my heart and He did...miraculously!

I want to encourage you all who read this....meditate on the status of your heart...THINK about what you are thinking about....challenge the way you think..... When we face up to our thoughts, our character, the status of our heart, we are troubled when we see an area that is not reflecting Christ through us. We pray for money, we pray for nice things, we pray for God to remove the stress or struggles we are dealing with....He answers them sometimes....but sometimes He puts us through stress or struggles for a reason, a healthy reason....

If you want to see a miracle, if you want to see God do something amazing, pray for Him to change your heart, open your eyes...ask. It is God's will for us to be transformed into His desire for our life, and when we pray in the direction of His will, the miracles will follow, His will WILL be done, and you will BE the miracle, the living testimony of His grace and ability to perform supernatural things in our lives. Im the example, I'm living in it....you can too... Think about it.....

Day 145, Bangalore

For those of you who haven't heard, I have been really praying about continuing missions for a few years. My focus would be medical missions and I would leave in the fall for three months of specialized medical training for developing contries followed by three more months of fieldwork where we would focus on dental work, delivering babies, administering medicine, treating wounds and diseases, blood and urine analysis, malnutrition and many other things. I have had this on my heart for a long time now, and the opportunity has opened up in Guatemala. While nothing is set in stone, and the Lord could lead me another direction, this is the direction I am heading.

Yesterday I got my first taste of medical missions. Me and two girls went alone with a medical team here to assist them in the slums. As we carried the backpacks and medical supplies in I began to imagine myself in years to come doing the exact same thing. We sat up the medical supplies and waited for the people to pour in. Soon we were flooded by little children. As we cleaned one of the gashes on a little boy's leg I was amazed at the process. The wound was a few days old and was covered with dirt. Before we could see exactly what was wrong we had to first clean the wound. This is the most painful process of healing. The same thing is true in our lives. Before we can allow Christ to enter into our wounds, we have to acknowledge that they are there and wait patiently as He removes the "dirt" from our lives. The little boy sat there whincing as the last of the dirt was removed from the wound. Then the healing process could begin. We finished up and the boy was happy again. He was so pleased to have his wound taken care of....but I think he was happier that someone had acknowledged the fact that he was hurt and needed help. Amazing how this same process echoes throughout our lives. Dont allow your wounds to stay covered with dirt. Bring them to the surface and allow Christ to enter into them. He never heals the outside first. If we had just cleaned the outside up and sewed it shut with the dirt under the surface, it would never heal properly. No, instead Christ enters INTO our wounds and heals us from the inside out, slowly removing the death and decay, the dirt, from our wounds and restoring us to the way we were created to be. Lets continue to examine our lives, find the wounds, and invite the Physician to do His magic.

Day 143, Bangalore

I just spent 24 hours on a train from Mumbai to Bangalore. Very....interesting. As we crammed all our luggage on the train *cough7girls=alotofluggagecough* the girls started picking "beds". They were more like padded shelves, but whatever. The beds were about a foot and a half wide. There were 8 of them. In the main compartment there were six beds, stacked three high, about 6 1/2 feet long. The girls all filled the top four beds, leaving 2 bottom beds which were occupied by an Indian couple. These beds ran perpendicular to the train, then there were two beds that ran parallel to the train. I got stuck with one of these....of course. The only problem: The bed was walled off at the head and foot, and the bed was only about 5 feet 9 inches. Im 6 foot...my feet couldn't even hang off the bottom because of the wall. How is it that the tallest person on our team gets the shortest bed? Because im the guy. Thank you Lord for giving me an opportunity to sacrifice my comfort. It made a memory, I'm happy.

Needless to say I had a less that enjoyable nights sleep. When everyone woke the next morning we still had 14 hours left on the train. We did absolutely nothing. lol. We just waited and wrote and read. A few hours before we got off I got my guitar out and decided it would be a good idea to have some worship while we were surrounded by a bunch of Indians. We began to sing and worship, everyone was listening, you could hear it in the whole car. There is just something about worshiping around a bunch of non-believers that gets my blood pumping. As I finished up i decided to talk to the two Indians that were sharing a compartment with us. After a while of talking I found out that they were making a pilgrimage to the south to offer prayers in temples. What was I getting into. I shared my testimony and why my team was heading to Bangalore. They were very interested, and enjoyed talking about it. I have found that the people here are very tolerable and accepting of other religions, but aren't really interested in changing to the Truth. We got off the train and said good-bye to them and made our way to the bus.

Our room isnt too bad, me and Ruseball are sharing a room with three American guys from another DTS outreach team. THANK YOU LORD. This is the first time I've been around another American guy in months, and it is soothing. I'm looking forward to our work here, it will be wonderful and I'm expecting the Lord to do amazing things.

I've gotta run for now, I'll give you all another update after I get the orientation to Bangalore and know what my team will be doing.

Day 140, Mumbai

Today is our last day in Mumbai. We will go speak and do a drama at a concert tonight and this will sum up our ministry in this city. Tomorrow night we leave for Bangalore, which is in South India. We will spend 24 hours on the train. From what we have heard, this will be an interesting train ride.
My illness is fading. Thank you so much for your prayers. After almost three weeks of coughing and illness I am finally healing. I know many of you have been praying for me, and it is working!

This week we traveled to the largest temple in Mumbai, and the largest Muslim mosque. It was a powerful prayer walk. As we made our way to the temple we passed many people selling plates full of flowers and coconuts....everyone was selling them. As we climbed the stairs to the temple at the top I began to pray. The Indians were so blind....I couldn't believe it. They brought these plates of flowers and coconuts in and walked around the temple, expecting their gods to bless them, and then would take them back to their house so their house would be blessed by the flowers.

As I walked around I was almost overwhelmed. They were SOOO headstrong about their religion...they were SOOO blind to the real truth, their religion wasn't just a Sunday service religion, it was a complete way of life, the way they dress, speak, think, work, eat, pray....everything they did was under the guise of their religion. I began to think, "How is it possible to show these people the truth....it is too hard to change their life". I started to think about everything that would have to change in their life for them to follow Christ and started to realize how impossible it was. Then I felt the Holy Spirit quicken something to my mind. It was then that I realized that I had doubted the strength of our God. He is strong enough to break their religion's hold on them. HE IS STRONG ENOUGH. From that point on, that is what my prayer was focused on, declaring the strength of the Lord, declaring His power over their religion, over their way of life, and declaring that He has the power to change people's lives. I was not overwhelmed anymore.

I walked to the back of the temple where I found a staircase winding down to the sea. I walked down the stairs and sat there praying for the Lord to open their eyes to what they are doing. They get NOTHING from their gods, absolutely NOTHING, yet they continue to do their rituals in hopes that when they die they will be reincarnated into something better than a bug or dog (or worse, a cat). As I sat there I watched some people walk down with their platters of coconuts and flowers, and hand a girl their coconut. She walked across the rocks and down to the water where she threw the coconut in the water as an offering to their gods. I sat there in amazement. "How foolish you are! Open your eyes to what you are doing!" I thought to myself. They throw coconuts in the sea in order to please their gods. They carve statues and worship them....worship something that they themselves created! The last time it was counted they concluded that there are over 330,000,000 gods in India...That is 330 MILLION different gods that they worship....monkey gods, rat gods, cow gods, coconut gods....you name it, they worship it....they worship everything that is lower than them. How cunning the prince of this world is to get people to believe they will benefit in their "afterlife" by worshiping the rats and cats and cows and everything else on the planet that is of less value than they themselves.

I prayed that their eyes would be opened, that they would begin to think about their life, that they would begin to hear the truth.

We left there and went to the mosque afterwards. I spent a month in Egypt where I was constantly surrounded by the mosques and their eerie chants to prayer, where all the women completely covered themselves in black, with only a small slit for their eyes, where the men had huge bruises on their heads from smacking their foreheads on the ground in prayer 5 times a day. I was very familiar with Islam and had a pretty good picture of what to expect. A small rock walkway jutted a few hundred yards out into the sea where the mosque sat surrounded by water. As I entered the mosque I was shocked to see how different it was. It was mixed with Hinduism! The women didnt wear the black, the men had no bruises, the chant wasn't playing.....The Muslims here conform their religion however necessary in order to get people to follow their religion. Muslims don't worship idols, but these did. In a country where people are used to praying "to" something tangible, the muslims put things infront of them so they could worship them.

This was a shock to me, but it made sense at the same time. The enemy is so focused on separating people from Christ that he will use any means necessary, even if it contradicts his own made up religions, to get them to do it. In America, Islam is taking off like a wildfire. They are mainly doing this through the black population. They tell them that Jesus was white and preached that the Kingdom of Heaven was for white people, and that Mohammad was black and accepted blacks. By this, the muslims convert many blacks to Islam. When I spoke to one of the muslims here about this he was completely shocked that they did that. He said it was wrong and that Mohammad wasn't black. In the Qua'ran it says that it is okay to lie to people in order to get them to believe your religion. I didnt realize the extent of how true this was until I saw this mosque. Islam changes and shifts its beliefs and lies in order to get as many followers as possible.

I am so thankful for the stability of living a life with Christ, where you are anchored to something solid, the ROCK. Something that doesn't move and shift, but has always been and will always be the same.

Well, I dont know if I will be able to post until after I arrive in Bangalore where I will tell you all about the 24 hour train ride. Please pray that I will get some sleep and it wont be too bad.

Day 139, Mumbai

Whew, its been a packed week. I just got back from a meeting with the local ministry workers here in Mumbai, my team is leaving on Saturday to do ministry in Bangalore. We will be in Bangalore for two weeks before we head to Goa to debrief.

I forgot to share a story of provision with you all! I was spending some time one morning looking over my things, everything I have with me. I have some clothes, a Bible and a journal, my brother's guitar, and a broken laptop and iPod, even the suitcases were borrowed. I look back at what I actually owned back home.... I don't own a vehicle anymore....no furniture....the clothes I didn't bring with me were the clothes I dont wear.... Then it hit me, I don't own anything anymore! I've got my clothes, my Bible, some books, and thats about it. I actually still OWE money! lol. I was reading through Matthew 6 where it talks about how God knows our needs, He feeds the birds and clothes the grass, and how much more important are we! I just started praying. I am the only one on my team who hasn't raised all the money we were each supposed to contribute. I still needed $1,400 for our team to have enough money to finish our ministry here. I had begun to doubt that I would be able to raise this, it seems to hard to get support while you are overseas. I just prayed and asked. Later this day I received an e-mail saying that someone had donated $400! I was so amazed, it was such a blessing. Not only did this help with my financial needs while I'm over here, but it picked up my spirit and strengthened my faith in His provision! How wonderful He is! I do no know who sent this money, but I just wanted to thank you so much, you have no idea how spirit-led that was. It was an answer to prayer and it has blessed me so much! Thank you!

Okay, im being kicked off the computer in this net cafe, I'll post more soon. Probably tomorrow.

Day 134, Mumbai

I have been told that a lot of you are asking about my iPod. lol. I have tried drying it out and charging it...nothing works. Its okay though, its just an iPod, its not the end of the world. He gives and takes away.

Wednesday morning we crammed onto a bus with our small backpacks for a trip to a base a few hours away in the hill country of Lonavala. Mostly inhabited my small "tribes" or slum areas, there is a fairly nice YWAM base nestled in the mountains there. Our busride through the mountains was very scenic and the monkies that swung in the trees and walked along the rode helped the time to pass and helped us to not notice the absense of A/C. We were going to teach. At this base there was a new team of DTS students who had just begun their lecture phase. Shortly after we arived I had to change into my dress clothes and prepare to teach. The students entered the classroom and I began speaking about dramas and outreaches. After two hours I was about half way done. lol. We ended the class and met with a man named Alex who took us to his house for dinner. For those of you who know my bud Marko, Alex is the guy who led him to the Lord. After an evening of dinner and talking we returned to the base and retired to our rooms where I spent the whole night coughing.

For about 2 weeks now I have been fighting off a cold. I am congested and cough non-stop. I dont think the pollution is helping much. Hopefully this will pass soon. Pray for healing.

The next morning we woke and were briefed on a local outreach the students were going on. We decided to go with them. My team paired up with a team of 10 DTS students from the Lonavala base. They had only had a couple outreaches so far and were new to it. The village that we would be taken to had just been reached a few weeks ago, and so far all the outreaches that had been done had been praying outreaches where they walk around the village praying. We brought a battery powered CD player and planned to do a drama for the village. Our group, along with the DTS students, circled to pray for the next few hours of outreach. The students were still shy and uncomfortable (I remember this phase my team went through during our lecture time), and I was so proud to see each member of my team pray out and declare the outreach for the Kingdom and ask that the Holy Spirit be with us and speak through us. Only two from the DTS students prayed, one of them being a staff member. As the SUV climbed the mountain rodes I thought about the village that we were about to enter.

We piled out of the SUV and began walking. We entered someone's house and just sat there. They students didnt know what to do. We talked to the outreach leader and he said we could do a drama outside if we wanted. Well, we wanted to! As we stepped out onto the dirt rode and began to set the CD player up, the Indian Staff member told his team what we were going to do. There was no crowd, no one watching, just a few people walking past in the street every few minutes. I began to wonder how this would work....it was a small street, no room for anyone to crowd and watch....and no way to let the village know! They'll come, I reassured myself. We set up like we were about to start the drama....some people passing by watched curiously as we took our positions. Only one problem...the CD player wouldn't work. No matter what we tried, we couldn't get it to work. So we decided to start singing. As we sang, more and more villagers stopped to watch, then the children came. After a few minutes there were 50-75 people crowded on both sides of the street, infront of us, behind us, on both sides, crammed together. We decided to do a drama that didnt need music. We located some props we might need and then got someone to translate for us that we were about to do a drama. Afterwards I would preach.

We did our drama and the staff member from the other team came to translate for me. As I stood there preaching the Gospel, more and more people began to come. I spoke for about 45 minutes, and at the end I spoke about salvation and gave a opportunity for them to pray. As he translated the prayer, I looked up to see so many people, children and all, bowing their heads in prayer, repenting for their sins and asking Jesus to come into their life. I couldn't believe it. They Holy Spirit had been with us. What an amazing outreach.

As we finished up our program the villagers came to speak with us, my girls played with the little girls, and the guys spoke with the men and boys who had questions or just wanted to meet us or ask us for personal prayer. As me and my translator walked a little farther from the group he said to me, "That was amazing.....this is the first time the Gospel has ever been preached here....that was so powerful....thank you".

We got back to the base, I washed up, and prepared to teach another 2 hour class on outreach dramas. This one wouldn't start until 9pm. I walked into the classroom and finished up teaching the DTS students the dramas and how to use them. After we encouraged them in their outreaches we retired to our rooms and I spent another night coughing.

We left the following day and came back here to Mumbai. Which is where my story leaves off right now. I am still pretty sick, but looking back....I have realized that during the classes I taught every night and the preaching in the village....i didn't cough once. Thats a miracle.

Day 127, Mumbai

Yesterday was a packed day. Pastor Ashish came to lead me and three girls into the red-light district here in Mumbai. We said a quick prayer, and headed out. We arrived and followed the pastor through the slum areas to where the prostitutes were working. I didn't know what to expect, I had a very brief orientation to the redlight district. We walked a few hundred yards into the slums and then I saw them. Lined up were about 25 young women, some looked to be 15 years old. They all wore bright red lipstick, this is what set them apart as prostitutes. He walked through them and ducked into the narrow alley behind them. We followed close behind. After a short walk down the narrow alley we came to an open spot between the shacks where a blanket was spread on the dirt floor and several men and women sat playing cards. He spoke to them in Hindi, shook their hands, and then turned and led us through a maze of back-alleys. As we stepped over the holes filled with sewage and over the trash, trying not to touch the walls that closed in on us on both sides, I began a simple prayer....

"Just one today Lord....thats all I ask....I want to see at least one soul added to the Kingdom today....please...."

We made our exit from the back-alleys and into the open streets of the slums again. We followed Pastor Ashish to a shack where a woman sat crouching down washing clothes in a bucket. She stood up when she saw us approach and greeted the pastor warmly. After shaking our hands she turned and motioned for us to come in. I kicked off my sandles and ducked into the little house, we all sat and Pastor Ashish spoke to her for a few minutes telling her who we were. We sat silently, not knowing anything about this woman or why she greeted the pastor so warmly. After a while he told us that she had come to know the Lord six years ago. She used to be a prostitute also, but when she was saved she gave this up. She put her children in a christian school and never went back to prostitution. We shared with her a little bit about our testimonies. She got up and left and came back with cold drinks for us all, by the look of the shack we sat in I knew this was a sacrifice. She told us that her 12 year old daughter spoke fluent English and would be home shortly. When her children came home we sang some songs and had a good time of fellowship with them. From there we went to another house to pray for some other people. As we popped back onto the street we made our way back to where we first saw the prostitutes.

On the way a man called the pastor's name and we stopped. While he spoke to the man some prostitutes came walking up to where we were. They didn't speak English, but were interested in the three girls I brought with me. They smiled at them and shook their hands. As me and the pastor finished talking to the man and the boys that had gathered we turned and he translated for the girls. After a few minutes one of my girls asked if she could pray for one of them....the girl let her. Then, one by one, they all sat down as my girls prayed for them. No salvations, but they appreciated the prayers. We said goob-bye and continued. When we reached the area where we had first seen the red lipstick we ducked down the alley and went to the blanket where they sat playing cards. We didn't know who they were, but they seemed to have built some kind of relationship with the pastor. Moments later we all filed into one of the makeshift houses and they all followed us in. We were told we could sing one song, and then I had an opportunity to speak for a few minutes. I spoke about how God provides a way out when He invites us to follow Him, He always meets our needs when He calls us to Himself and His will for our life. After Pastor Ashish translated for me, he said we could pray. There was only one man in the "house". I laid hands on him as I prayed. Afterwards we all went outside and took a seat. One of the women, who seemed to have some kind of authority brought out cold beverages for us. The man I touched while I prayed walked up to me and Pastor Ashish and told him that he wanted me to pray for him, to pray for healing because he had asthma. The Pastor told the girls to talk with the women on the blanket, one of them spoke English. We sat down with the man and continued talking, I spoke of stories of healing to build the man's faith. After a minute of translating, the man said something and the pastor looked at me and said,

"Stay with me a moment, I am going into Hindi for a while to witness to this man."

I started praying in the Spirit. The man's eyes were moist. I didnt know what the pastor was saying, but something was taking place. A few minutes later the man held out his hands, palm up, and bowed his head. We held his hands and the pastor walked him through the sinner's prayer. After we prayed for his healing, the pastor started speaking to the women. They pointed to a building next to them which stood out. It was concrete and two stories high. We walked up to the second level and entered on of the rooms. Fresh paint was still on the walls.

"Okay, let me tell you why I brought you here, I wanted to get you out of their hearing range. All of those people down there are pimps. The man we prayed for was a pimp, the women who brought the drinks, all of them. They manage the girls we walked past. They are building these rooms for 'business'. I want us to walk through these rooms and declare them for the Kingdom."

He continued talking to us about all that was happening and I just stood there in amazement. We were totally clueless as to what was actually taking place that day. The man surrendering his life to Christ, praying for them all, them bringing us drinks....all of it, to pimps and prostitutes in the heart of the redlight district. Unbelievable. We walked through the rooms praying. When we finished and were about to leave, the head lady who was in charge came to us and had us enter one of the rooms. She said something to one of the girls who darted off after receiving some instructions. She said something else to one of the men who also turned and walked off. A few moments later the man returned with chairs, and the girl had sent a little boy in with 6 cups of chai tea. We sat there and talked as we sipped our tea....we had done our work well, and left having accomplished something.

Let me tell you all, always pray with faith, and never think you have to have elaborate, long, detailed, well thought out prayers. The Lord knows what is in your heart before you even say it. He answered my simple prayer:

"Just one today Lord....thats all I ask....I want to see at least one soul added to the Kingdom today....please...."

We got a ride back to the hostile and the pastor asked to use the bathroom in my room. He walked out, "Hmm, you guys not have any water?". I smiled. "It comes and goes, you never know when to expect it". He said goodbye and left. I sat on my bed going over what happened that day and then met up with the group to go to dinner. We ate with a mission team from Germany and then came home. I began to walk up the stairs when I noticed it looked like it had rained.....inside.....

As I got to the second floor I saw several men standing at the door with mops and big squeegees....The door was wide open. I walked in and there were more men, mopping the floor. My suitcase had been moved to a chair, and all of my books that were on the floor were soaking wet and lying open under a fan. I smiled, not knowing what had happened.

"Tap...tap was on" one of the men laughed as he pointed to the bathroom.

One of the girls who had stayed behind told me that someone had left the tap on in the bathroom and it flooded the whole room with 3 inches of water. It had tile floors and baseboards, so there was no damage, save my personal belongings. The men finished up as I looked to see what had been ruined. My suitcase was soaked, along with all the clothes in it, but they would dry. I looked at the books to see which ones had been safe and which ones had be ruined. The books on the floor were the ones I had read the night before, the ones on the bed were the ones I had read that morning.....this was the determining factor to see which ones were wet and which ones were dry. Books that were ruined:

1. The Message Bible
2. The Complete Evangelism Handbook
3. My Upmost for His Highest
4. The journal I had kept during my first three months overseas.
5. The Screwtape Letters

I took a hairdryer to the journal and it turned out okay, It has a leather cover which prevented the water from completely reaching all the pages. The other books are goners.

Two Bibles (NISB and NKJV), my journal from the second half of my outreach here, another book I am halfway done reading, and my guitar survived the flood. I began pulling the clothes out of my suitcase so I could set them out to dry. This is when I saw the white cord to a pair of headphones....."Lord...no..."...I pulled them and sure enough, on the other end of the cord was the 80GB iPod my brother bought for me before I left. I just smiled....i couldn't believe I smiled....I went and plugged it in and tried to turn it on....nothing. Its gone. My teammates seem to be having more of a hard time with my loss than I am. I can't be upset, or even disappointed. I am seeing God do amazing things here, and if I lose my laptop to a freak electrical surge and my iPod to a flood, so be it, I would gladly give it all to reach these people. Im sure I can get the iPod replaced when I get home. It is probably under warranty.

Cost of a laptop: $500-$1500
80GB iPod: $350
Four books: $100
Seeing a pimp surrender his life to the Lord: Priceless.

Oh yeah....I know everyone is wondering who left the tap on right? Pastor Ashish. lol! Oh well. He didn't know.