A Journal From the East

"Did they do that when they took you down from the cross?"

2008-06-10T01:16:00.000-07:00

So last year at Easter our church had a drama and I was asked to play the role of Jesus. "Uh, yeah.......sure..." Im not sure if I was allowed to turn down the role, I mean, surely that has to be some kind of sin. So I said yes and went along with it. To make the play "real" looking, they commissioned my brother to be the guard that drags Jesus to the cross and nails him to it. Real funny guys. I stood backstage as they poured fake blood all over my shirtless torso and arms and painted bruises all over me. My intro was from the back.....on all fours, with a rope tied around my neck..........Zack was at the other side of the rope, dragging me to the cross. He played his role VERY well. It was very realistic and I can understand why the little blonde boy watching thought I was actually nailed to the cross. As my brother and the other guard kicked and shoved and dragged me to the cross I had an experience that I believe one can only experience in a situation similar to that one, thats a story for another day. Anyways, up on the cross I went, the nails were hammered in, I hung, and breathed the last breath, only later to make another appearance in white. End of story, yadda yadda yadda.

For months after this, the little blonde boy was deathly afraid of me. I would see him come running through church, catch a glimpse of me, stop, and turn the other way and take off. I learned from his mother that he actually believed I was nailed to the cross, and burned in anger towards the ones who put me there. hehe. I found it a little humorous at first. When he was in his mother's arms he would talk, mostly ask questions, "Did it hurt when they put you up there?" "Why did they do that?" His questions were so innocent, and I took the moment as an opportunity to say things about how I did it to pay for your sins and other cheesy Christian phrases, hoping to sear them into his mind, JESUS DIED FOR ME......JESUS PAID FOR MY SINS......JESUS LOVES ME THAT MUCH....... I hoped that would forever be on his mind, but it began to look like it wasn't.......it was ME he saw up there, not Jesus. And thats how he understood it. After a while I showed him my hands and tried to explain to him that it wasn't real, that I wasn't hurt and I was just an actor. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. The months ticked by, I left for Budapest and came back 6 months later and there he was. I began to work with his father and would see him from time to time. Trying to overcome his fear of me, I began to hold my hand out whenever I saw him, offering a high-five. The first few times he shied away timidly but eventually he grew accustomed to it. We high-fived. Finally, after a year of him fearing me, he had finally grown out of his belief that I was a supernatural being who had been hung on the cross and lived to tell about it. Whenever I would show up to his house to head to work with his father I would see his blonde head pop up in the window looking out over the trucks, waving goodbye. When we returned from work he would be outside, and this is where our conversations began.

One day I was talking with his father on the way to work and he told me that his son likes to play "work", and he always asks to be me....... Something churned inside me, I knew there was more to the story and that I would return to this conversation many times to look it over. "He always wants to be Nyk" "Dad, can I be Nyk?"........ The whole situation seem unbelievable to me. I had no idea he thought so highly of me, I thought he was deathly afraid of me..... I would catch him after work in the driveway and he would come talk to me. He would tell me ALL about him and what he can do. "I learned how to do this....." and then he would take me into the garage and show me his new skill. "You want to see?" was always his question. "You want to see?"........."Of course" I'd reply.

Just the other day I was speaking with his father in the driveway when he came walking out of the garage. His father was saying something about how the boy talks about me or tries to act like me or something like that, I can't remember, but I decided to pay special attention to him for a while to see if there was more to this than I was noticing. The boy started talking to me, telling me about something new of his and he wanted to show me. I sat on the ground to pet their new puppy, the boy sat there watching. I put my keys on the ground to play with the puppy. He said, "You got keys? I got keys, inside, can I get em, you wanna see my keys? I got keys too." I was floored..... this kid wants me to see everything about him that resembles................me.... After dashing inside and returning he sat on the ground and just watched me..... After a couple minutes of me toying around with the puppy, his hand reached up to my face to touch the bar I have through my eyebrow. "He just touched my....face" I thought. I look curiously at him and he asked, "Whats that?"

"Thats an eyebrow ring"

"How did they do that?"

"Well....uh.....then pinched my eyebrow and then stuck a needle through it then put this bar in it."

"Did it hurt?"

"A little"

"Did they do that when they took you down from the cross?"

Something caught in my throat........this kid still thought that was real..... It wasn't something that he thought of occasionally, it was something that was always on his mind when I was around. He was cross-focused. The cross was central to his relationship with me, and everything he did and said to me he did with awe. There is something about this that wont leave me alone, something about the Kingdom is reflected in this situation that is so true, so real, and I love it. The story still continues, I still see this boy, and I'm sure I'll have more stories.....

"Did they do that when they took you down from the cross?"

We should all be more like Grandma's house.....

2008-05-07T20:35:00.000-07:00

White lines from the road reflected off the window as we drove..... I have this unusual habit of tapping my teeth ever-so-silently keeping time with the lines as they methodically passed by. My Bible sat unopened on the seat next to me.... I didn't want to put it in my bag, but I knew I had no intention of reading it on the road..... no, my mind was..... elsewhere.

The hours sailed by much like the white lines, finally pulling our vehicle into the familiar driveway of my grandparent's house is Maryland. They have lived in the same house since I was born. I eyed the front lawn in the darkness, flooding my memory with countless images of my childhood visits. I tossed my bag over my shoulder and walked through the front door, instinctively slipping off my shoes before continuing into the kitchen. The same dolls stared at me through their glass prison on the shelf, showing little enthusiasm at my return. It had been almost two years since I had visited my grandparents, and yet nothing seemed to have skipped a beat. The house was warm, inviting, and most of all..... one of the most familiar places I know. I have moved 6 or so times since my entry into this world.... but their home has been constant. I arrived too late for them to still be up, so after a quick glance into the refrigerator (to satiate my hunger to know if they still carried all the same things they ALWAYS house in their icebox, which they did) I headed down the stairs and camped out on the couch.

The next morning I found my way up the stairs and into the kitchen where my grandfather sat in "his chair" at the table, the crossword puzzle from the daily paper resting half-filled on the table in front of him. My grandmother made her way around the room to hug me, and my grandfather stood to do the same. "Nick-Nack" he laughed as his arms wrapped around me, a name he coined for me when I was a child.

I sat at the table and had a look around the room. Everything was in its place, aside from a few new additions here and there. My grandparents have the amazing ability to add/update little things around their home, and yet still maintain the same exact atmosphere. Change is good....

"Who left the light on downstairs?" my grandmother's voice sounded down the hall.

I stifled a smile.... I love that my grandmother never changes! I poured a glass of sweet tea and leaned back in the chair, taking it all in. The thing I love about my grandparent's house is that it is always the same and always different and you never tire of it. Little ornamental cups and glass vessels carried an array of different candies, a favor my grandfather always made sure was filled before we arrived.

No matter what I did, how I changed or grew physically or mentally, I noticed something. My grandparents always treated me the same..... exact......way. There is nothing I could do to ever make them love me more or treat be any better than they already did....and there is nothing I could ever do to make them love me any less. I will always be welcome in that house, I will always feel invited, always feel comfortable, always feel loved. I felt the familiar Voice prick my conscience, "What would it look like if EVERYONE were like this house?"

"What WOULD that look like?" my thoughts echoed over the next few days.

What would it look like if everyone were warm and inviting, if everyone loved you no matter what and without any agendas, if there were a place of refuge. Its a funny thing about us mortals, we seem to spend our whole lives looking for something solid, something concrete and constant so we can anchor ourselves to it, but look in the wrong...... location....realm? Is that the right word for it? Its like we stand on the shore....then dive underwater and spend the rest of our time looking for a place to breath. From the moment I stepped through the front door till the moment I left, worry couldn't touch me. I spent most of my time "soaking", for those of you who understand what I mean by that. I was in training. I have taken up a position that I place great importance on, I will be leading a group of young men for the summer. Its something I had been praying for, and it fell into my lap, oddly enough, right before I left for Maryland. I knew that plans had been set for this group before the foundations of the earth were laid, all I had to do was put myself in a position to receive these plans.....which I did. I smiled as they were quickened to my mind, admiring the wisdom and creativity their Designer had poured into them. Thumbing through a few scriptures and jotting down a few words in my journal finished up my week.

I sat in the backyard looking over the rolling fields that touched the grass where my grandparent's old fence used to be. I filtered through a myriad of memories before settling on one in particular..... I couldn't have been waist high... and my brother, Zack, half of that. I was pushing Zack in one of those old-school plastic "toddler-swings".....you know what I'm talking about, those red ones with the yellow rope and the yellow, hard plastic, guillotine-style piece that slid down the rope in the front to pinch the skin on your thigh that got in between it and the hole in the seat.....yeah....THAT one. The rest of the family, all the aunts and uncles sat around in the back yard watching us.....those were the good days when my brother and I were the only grandchildren and got spoiled by everyone......I began pushing him back and forth until I got bored. This is when I started having fun....who has fun pushing a swing anyways? I began to spin Zack. Round and round he went, the ropes twisting into one solid mass, slowly twisting until they joined right above his head........"Nick Nick.......Nick Nick...........NICK NIIIII", the last words left his mouth as a TWANG accompanied my fingers as they left the swing's rope, sending my brother into a spinning frenzy. He was calling a different name now.....my attention was diverted and I left my younger brother spinning lazily under the large oak.

"Grandma..........Grandpa...........Aunt Sandy.........somebody heeeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeee....." his small voice sung through the backyard as his little arms held tightly onto the rope, straining to pull his head forward which was locked backwards as the force of the spin slung his frame outward.

As the memory faded I smiled broadly. It was one of my favorites. It reminded me of how many times I have found myself spinning out of control when I though I was finally "safe"......yelling "Grandma...........Grandpa........somebody.....anybody......"....and the whole time I'm still right where I need to be, Grandma's Backyard.

I Disobeyed

2008-04-21T21:54:00.000-07:00

I was driving home on my way from downtown Nashville when the feeling first hit me.

You know that feeling...

Deep down.... it almost feels like you forgot something.... like you know you have broken something priceless and are waiting for someone to find out.... that uneasiness....

We have all felt it thousands of times in different degrees.

I knew what it meant immediately. I was headed home where I would throw some clothes in a bag and head off with two girls to Houston for a week. I knew I was supposed to sit this trip out. I had planned on going on this trip for a while, I had told several people that I would be coming, I had already canceled/rescheduled a few speaking events....I was set to go.....

....yet I knew I was supposed to stay.

How many times to we face these decisions..... when we KNOW what we are supposed to do, and still look at the options. I talked myself into going.

Halfway through the trip I couldn't stop thinking about my situation. I was in Houston, I knew God wanted me in Nashville.....and there was nothing I could do to change that. Try as I might to enjoy myself, soak in the hot tub, play guitar, hang out with people.....nothing......I was uneasy. My spirit was stirring. I would pick up a book, 5 min later I would put it down and walk to the other end of the house for no reason at all....find something else to do only to quit 5 minutes later and walk somewhere else to find something to do. I was nervous....troubled..... scared maybe? What is that feeling called anyway? I knew I was sorry, and there was nothing to fix it.

I found myself taking a good look at my heart. I had been so busy with the "go go go" lifestyle, so busy with friends and family, speaking, meetings and everything else that seems to make our lives more "noisy", that it had been a while since I took a good look at what had been going on in my heart lately. I noticed something, and I'm not sure what it means. I'm always looking for a "story" to tell..... no matter whats going on, where I am, whats happening.... I'm always looking for some kind of truth in it, some kind of story to share. I can't read a book without wondering how I could preach it someday..... man its tiresome....anyways

So I had this heavy feeling the whole time. I had a particularly bad day a few days before I returned. You know these days..... where everything seems to go wrong. In fact, SO many things go wrong that you almost want to laugh with frustration because its just TOO many things messing up to be normal. This day in particular I was wrestling with some questions, some deep questions. I had been studying some things in the Bible that were challenging things to wrap your mind around.... I was deep in thought to the point where it almost hurt, I had no answers. I came to the point where the thought finally came:

"Ya know....I just need to relax.....I need to forget about these things for a while, I'm stressing about these things....I need to turn on some worship music and just rest and come back to these questions when I'm refreshed and have a new go at it."

I was about to do just that when I realized how many times I've done that before and never picked up where I left off. Was this some kind of suggestion to keep me from wresting with this question? It was. I had to press on. I continued turning it over in my mind....who knew that could be so physically taxing?

I had come to the point where I was wrestling with so many unanswered questions. I didn't even know if I was a Christian anymore. I'm not sure how it happened, but it did.....I found what I was looking for.

It started to rain that night. Not just a trickle.... but real rain. I remember lying in bed listening to the rain beat against the window.....I was exhausted, I had been struggling with things all day, wrestling with verses, questioning everything....I was hot, I was worn out, I was tired.....and the rain continued to fall.

It always rains doesn't it? What does rain have to do with it anyway?

I laid there...at rest. I felt good, I knew I had completed something. I hadn't given up, I had struggled and came out on the other side okay. I had an answer to a question I didn't ask......questions are good....

...questions are good

Sometimes they are difficult and we give up..... but questions are good....they keep us thinking, they keep us sharp, and ya know.... I actually think God loves it when we ask a question.

I'm sitting here wondering why I feel like sharing all this.... it doesn't really speak highly of me. I think I just want to let you know that everyone has "those days", and not everyone handles them with perfect smoothness, with a gentle spirit and a calm tongue.... I was so worked up that I even questioned my salvation. lol. No one could have noticed this on the outside, I didn't yell or act much differently, but inside was a warzone.....and Christ is on your side, fighting with you the whole way, always saying, "Don't worry....we're gonna make it.". You always make it....the battle is already won.

And the Voice whispered....."The Kingdom"

2008-04-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

Soon after my last post, I was talking to one of my friends in Maryland who had gone overseas with me. It started off like every other normal conversation:

"Hey, how are you?"
"I'm great! You?" I replied.
"Pretty good, just getting ready. I leave in 7 hours."
"Oh yeah? Where ya going?"
"....oh, I know this guy in Nashville...." was her answer.

I looked at my watch. It said it was the 10th. My fingers hovered over the keyboard waiting for some kind of a reply to come to my mind.

"Nicholas Huber...."
"I'm sorry!! It crept up on me! I was thinking we were leaving the 14th for some reason."

I had been planning on going to Houston for a while now, but had gotten so busy that it crept up on me without me noticing. In less that 24 hours I would have 2 house guests....I was supposed to speak that night at a church meeting. I spent the next day cleaning the house, thinking about what I would speak about that night. I threw some steaks on the grill right before the two girls arrived. We ate, then one of them accompanied me to the meeting.

As we drove, I mulled over some of the things I had on my heart to talk about. One of them was what was going on in the youth, another was the excitement in the leadership meeting when we spoke about a Creative Worship Sunday.....another was freedom... I noticed something prick my conscience and I listened. The Voice whispered....."The Kingdom". DING DING DING! I knew it was right. All of the things I had on my heart had a central theme, the Kingdom.

The meeting started. About 15 minutes in I started talking about what I was seeing happening around us....what God was at work doing. I have had several people speak to me about what God has put on their heart, and they all seem to be hearing the same thing! I told how Marko had the same thing shown to him, remember that story from a few posts ago? Here is a refresher:

"Marko and I hopped in the truck and began our drive to a pizza shop near the church. Marko broke the silence, "Ya know....I was thinking about it during church and I think I know what God has been putting on my heart.... I think I know what God is calling me to."

I believe God is making His Kingdom known, not church denominations, not religions, not individual revelations, but a widespread movement of opening people's eyes to see His Kingdom for what it really is. It is worth getting excited about. As I shared, Erin spoke up and said "Thats really cool because me and Adam have been praying about where God wants to take these meetings and He put the same thing on our hearts, and starting next week we are going to begin a study on the Kingdom"

Our meeting ran late as everyone shared their thoughts on what we can do to share the Kingdom of God with people. It was amazing!

The next day I was getting ready to leave the house when Jim, one of the worship leaders at church stopped by.

"Are you getting ready to leave?"
"Yeah, I was just about to walk out the door, why, whats up?"
"Man, I gotta tell you a story before you leave...Man, the other day at the leadership meeting....that was amazing. Dude, everyone was flippin' about that! We had an Elder's meeting afterwards and thats what we talked about. It was so cool seeing Don excited about that, he was like, 'Man, Nick was right.' I could sit through meetings like that all day dude."

He sat there talking through moist eyes, excited about what God is doing in our little church. People are getting passionate, people are getting excited, God is speaking to His children, bringing freedom and creativity to His people.

I am in Arkansas right now, about to take off to a nearby bookstore. I leave for Houston in a few days and will return to Nashville on the 19th. I'll keep you all posted about whats going on here.

(To 15yr old Anna from NLA, I've heard about you and would love to meet you when I return. Drop me an e-mail, I've got some questions for ya.)

Freedom.... exciting?

2008-04-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

I was driving back from Miami with a friend, somewhere in-between Ft Lauderdale and Atlanta when I finally picked up my phone and called Marko. We had spoken the day before and had decided to pray about what God had planned for us to speak with the youth about. I had been listened for some time now, and decided to see if Marko had heard the same....

"So... get anything?"

"Yeah.... I got 'freedom'...", he replied.

"Heh....no way. I've had my mind on the same thing."

We spoke for a few more minutes and I continued driving.

"White cafe mocha please." I told the girl behind the counter at Starbucks. Me and Marko grabbed a table and sat down, Bibles in hand with a blank notebook page. We had done it before... we pray... we hear... it goes down on paper.... then we speak about what is written. So what exactly did He have planned for the youth? We had been thinking about it all week. We had a broad topic.... how do we speak about freedom in an hour and a half?

I took the notebook and started us off:

April 9, 2008

Plans for Youth: Freedom

We didn't have much to add to that! We sat there thinking about freedom, trying to pinpoint how to start such an amazing topic. I thought about different entries into the topic, how would we start.... an image came to my mind of us before the youth.. "You were bound.... now you have freedom through Christ...."

I could image their glossy eyes and unspoken questions, "Bound by what....I don't feel bound... why are they so excited....free through Christ..... aww man! I remember that time I got that dog leash wrapped around my ankles.....bound.... I miss that dog.... we should get another dog..... Ashton just got a dog and it tore a hole in her brother's jeans....I bet he got those jeans from American Eagle... so-and-so shops there a lot.... I need a car so I can go shopping.... I need a job to buy a car.... or I can use mom's car and use the money from the job to go shopping with...." and I could see their attention being diverted.

Bound by what...whom...and freedom from what? I knew thats where we had to start. You can't receive freedom unless you know you are bound by something. To the notebook we went:

April 9, 2008

Plans for Youth: Freedom

Freedom from what?

-fear

-sin

-death

We had a beginning. I knew that for us to live in freedom, we need to understand the bondage. Revelation of the bondage, of the flesh, always comes before divine revelation.....it is the revelation of our bondage that humbles us for salvation..... and gets us passionate about our freedom.

I laid an old leather journal of mine on the table between our coffees and thumbed through the pages. I had some notes on the subject in there somewhere. I found it and read it out to Marko:

"Not everyone, by any means, has had the experiences of the seventh of Romans, that agony of conflict. It is a great blessing when a person begins to realize the awful conflict of his struggle and defeat. Of all the needy classes of people, the neediest of this earth are not those who are having a heartbreaking, agonizing struggle for victory, but those who are having NO struggle at all and NO victory, and who do not know it and who are satisfied and jogging along in a pitiable absence of almost all the possessions that belong to them in Christ." -Dr. Scofield

This took me to Romans 5. Six hours later we were exhausted.... yet excited. We drove to the church, turned down the lights, Marko went in the back to make some coffee, and I stood there inking a few things on the whiteboard. As the youth filtered in and sat down I finished up drawing a few symbols on the board and Marko walked in. We began with a few minutes of prayer, and then told them what all we had planned for the night.

"It all started with the fall of man.....Adam...." I began.

I continued on, explaining what happened when Adam fell....what happened to us....do you know?

"When Adam sinned, sin entered the entire human race. Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. Yes, people sinned even before the law was given. And though there was no law to break, since it had not yet been given, they all died anyway-even though they did not disobey an explicit commandment of God, as Adam did." (Romans 5:12-14a)

When Adam fell, we fell, when he sinned, we sinned because we were joined to Adam. We were born into this sin, born into this bondage...... we have been living in it so long....our whole life to be exact, and have become used to it....to the point that we dont even know it exists anymore. I continued with Adam's story... our story....them I told them about Christ and His role in our freedom.

Christ lived this perfect life free from this bondage, He took our place, switched roles with us, so that when He died....we died with Him, when He rose, we rose with Him.

"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

"Or have you forgotten that when we became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus, we died with him? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised as he was." Romans 6:3-5

We have this freedom from sin now, and we have to understand this.... knowing this is crucial to living in the freedom that is in Christ. Marko used a story to illustrate this:

"Back in the Vietnam War some American soldiers were taken hostage and made into slaves. They continued in bondage to their masters. The war ended....but the continued working. They didn't know that they were free, and the man that they were slaves to didn't tell them because he knew the moment they found out the war was over....they were free. It wasn't until much later that someone told them that the war was over and that they no longer had to be slaves."

The whole time after the war was over.....they were free!! Yet they continued living in that bondage because they didn't know they were free. We spoke for a while after this about how Christ took our place in bondage....died....and rose again because He could not be bound by the power of sin and death. We basically taught the rest of Romans 5:

"What a contrast between Adam and Christ, who was yet to come! And what a difference between our sin and God's generous gift of forgiveness. For this one man, Adam, brought death to many through his sin. But this other man, Jesus Christ, brought forgiveness to many through God's bountiful gift. And the result of God's gracious gift is very different from the result of that one man's sin. For Adam's sin led to condemnation, but we have the free gift of being accepted by God, even though we are guilty of many sins.

The sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over us, but all who receive God's wonderful, gracious gift of righteousness will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ. Yes, Adam's one sin brought condemnation upon everyone, but Christ's one act of righteousness makes all people right in God's sight and gives them life. Because one person disobeyed God, many people became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many people will be made right in God's sight.

God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful kindness became more abundant.

So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God's wonderful kindness rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

As time began to run out we tried to wrap up. I asked them if they think they understood, or if they wanted us to continue on the same subject next week. They asked us to speak more about it next week. As they gathered their things and got ready to leave, one of the boys said, "Man, this was the best youth group meeting we have ever had...." they talked among themselves for a minute.

Amidst the conversations I hear, "This was awesome... God spoke to me for the first time during this meeting"

God is still speaking, and He has a lot to say....

Day by Day

2008-04-07T16:20:00.000-07:00

The morning sun pierced through the blinds sending a finger of light across my eyes. I rolled over, rubbed my face and wondered if I was going to make it to church on time. My friend, Marko, walked into the room with a smile on his face. "Ya ready man?". I sat up, walked into the bathroom and showered real quick before we got in the truck and headed for church.

I walked into the sanctuary, grabbed my seat, and waited for service to start. Another Sunday, another service, same people.....
As worship began I allowed my mind to wander.... no particular direction in mind.... I just relaxed and kinda allowed God to bring whatever He wanted to to my mind. As time passed, so did the thoughts....one by one different thoughts kept popping up in my head, new ministries, new ways of doing the same things, different approaches to the same task. I took a step outside what I was thinking about and marveled at the creativity that worship inspires. Looking back on all the other Sundays, all the other worship services, I've realized that it is then...... in that moment..... that moment of praise and worship.... that I feel the most creative and hear God the clearest. But it was just another Sunday, another service, same people....... and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...

After service, just like every other service, everyone walked around talking to the same friends, just like every other Sunday. As I made my way around the sanctuary talking to everyone I began to realize how much I love the church..... not the building, not the service, not Sunday..... not what we see when we look at the "church", but the real Church, the Bride of Christ, the church as God sees it..... the Church as Satan sees it..... the church that is rooted in eternity, more powerful than any army, stronger than any other force the enemy can muster....... I've fallen in love....

Marko and I hopped in the truck and began our drive to a pizza shop near the church. Marko broke the silence, "Ya know....I was thinking about it during church and I think I know what God has been putting on my heart.... I think I know what God is calling me to." We continued to talk until we arrived at the pizza shop. It was a conversation I have had with many people before, and I am beginning to realize something..... God isn't doing business like He used to..... our Father is pouring out a new wine, and He is calling those who will hear His voice to prepare the "new wineskins". The Kingdom is what He is putting on my heart, Marko's heart....and many others who I have spoken with. The Kingdom of Heaven is what Christ taught. This is what has been my passion for a while now. If we saw the Kingdom for what it really is..... is it actually possible to continue living our lives without the direction of the Spirit? I don't know.... this is still a new revelation to me.... I am just seeing the same thing springing up in the hearts of those God is joining me to.... the same passion, the same calling, the same Love....

I'm not sure what God has planned, but I have this deep feeling..... you know that feeling.... kinda like that feeling in the air before a summer thunderstorm..... God is about to pour out something amazing, something that will blow our minds, and He has already started, His plan is in motion, He is equipping and calling His children to a new level of intimacy with Him. I'm not the only one....many others have described the same feeling to me. Im excited! I have this amazing peace I've never experienced before.

Every morning I wake up....a new day, same people.... and I love every moment of it. I find myself in some kind of conversation with someone everyday that is meaningful to me. I always walk away thinking "Wow....thank You....." I still can't understand it, but everyday is the same, yet completely different. Its the same in that God does something daily to blow my mind, in that I always have an opportunity to share with someone about how much God loves them, how much He cares, and how real He really is. This is something that happens every day now.....which used to NEVER happen to me. Just today I went to work and a guy was there whom I have worked with before I left for Budapest. He never really liked me... he actually disliked me. As the day progressed, in the middle of one of our conversation he stopped me, "Man....you have changed, God has gotten ahold of your life....". I didn't say anything, I just kinda looked back with thanksgiving at what God has done for me.... Later in the conversation I was talking about a couple of meeting that I would be speaking at this week and he replied, "Man....you continue on like this and you will be doing a lot more than just speaking at meetings....you have been speaking to me all day about this stuff..." At the end of the day it seemed that any grievances that had been between us were completely gone, we had talked about a lot of things that we have gone through in our lives and how God had always been faithful in those moments. I wont say everything that happened, I'm not sure he would appreciate it, but it was good. He told me at the end that he hadn't tithed in a long time, and that while we were talking he decided that he wanted to start giving me what he would have tithed to go towards my trip to the medical missions school in Guatemala in October. I couldn't believe it.... 7 months ago this man really disliked me....now he was wanting to help me. Man.... I am in awe.... little miracles like this make me fall deeper in love with my Father everyday....

Well....these are some pretty scattered thoughts. Little random thoughts from the past couple of days. A lot of people have kept asking me to continue posting, and I find it keeps me motivated. So enjoy! I really love you guys a lot.... I can't even explain it, but you guys....man, you all are great.

I still got it...

2008-04-01T09:10:00.001-07:00

I've been back three weeks now. Spoken at various meetings, shared my story with just about everyone who cares to hear, and some who dont. The first week home was the most difficult. I remember telling my team how much I missed American food and how I was going to gain 20 pounds the first week home. I had a list of over 200 things I was going to eat when I came home. One of the top things on this list was a steak... closely followed by ice cream cake and Quizno's subs.

The party that was planned for me when I got home included the ice cream cake and sub. I took small portions.... To be honest, I ate what I did out of obligation. I had lost my appetite. The next morning was Sunday church. Afterwards I found myself at Cracker Barrel where I ordered the steak. The waitress put the plate in front of me and I sat there for a few minutes poking the steak around the plate before cutting off a corner a setting it inside my mouth. It tasted amazing....but still....i had to force feed myself the rest of it.... I just couldn't eat... This continued for the whole week, I don't know why, but I just couldn't allow myself to enjoy my time here. I was so used to only having the necessities, it was difficult being able to have delicacies that make life more enjoyable....and for some, more bearable. I remember walking down the aisle of Wal-Mart and looking at all of the things that I "could" have, but didn't exactly need. It was a difficult transition, but I seem to be doing better now.

I picked up the youth leader position again alongside my best friend (or "runnin' buddy", as my pastor calls it) Marko. We have been doing a lot of praying for the youth as we prepare to lead them on a mission trip to Mexico. Last week we sat down on the bed with a blank piece of paper, asked the Lord to prepare our hearts to hear His voice, and then waited silently in expectation. We needed to know how to prepare the youth for this trip...what did He have planned for us to speak about...

I took a quick examination of the status of my heart, what had been going on in there the past few weeks, and listened to hear if God was quickening anything to my mind. All I could hear was the breathing of Marko and I as we sat there listening.

....."Prayer...this is the foundation".... I recognized His voice and a smile spread across my face. I looked up and shared with Marko what I had heard, he smile in agreement. Our meeting with the youth would be about prayer...

From there ideas and instructions trickled into our time of prayer like little puzzle pieces until we had a complete picture of what God had planned for the youth. We excitedly wrote down all that we had heard, and then moved into the other room to type the handout we had come up with. It was amazing! As I sat there going over in my head all that we had heard, I thought about how the youth would receive what we would teach them. Prayer...i remember as a youth what I thought about prayer, I remember the way I would roll my eyes when I was told we would have a meeting on prayer.... It wasn't until this point in my life that I understand the reality of what prayer is, and the power that it carries. I thought about the importance and life that comes from prayer.....then wondered....

"Why is it that the most valuable, important, intimate part of our relationship with our Father is the most neglected, misunderstood, dreaded, and 'boring' part of our life?"

Marko nodded in agreement, "You just answered your own question, it is BECAUSE it is the most valuable and intimate part of our relationship that it is the most neglected and misunderstood part of our life"

I knew what he was getting at.... prayer is one of the most dangerous tools against the kingdom of darkness, so of course the enemy is going to try to take this defense out first. As we put the meeting together, we knew it would be really foundational in preparing for this trip.

The meeting went great. Amidst the bored faces and glazed eyes, there were a few who had really listened, a few who took the teaching seriously and would follow through with the exercises we had given them for the week. I would follow along with them also as I prayed for the youth and God's favor on them throughout the week.

On Friday morning I arrived at the airport a few hours before I would have liked to wake up. I called the guy I had talked to on the phone a few days earlier, whom I had never met. He met me at the door and we got my ticket and climbed into the plane. His name was Darby, a friend of a friend who had contacted me to help him with a job opportunity that had come up in Miami. The plane took off and a few hours later we touched down in Miami. As the Miami sun beat down on my face I thought to myself "Hmm...what a wild trip this will be.... I dont even know these people!"

We climbed into a cab that drove us to Bay Harbor where we would spend the next few days. We pulled up to the million dollar house and walked in. An older lady introduced herself to me as Jamie, and shortly afterwards a man, Alex, arrived. Jamie and Alex were Buddhists, and throughout the day we could hear them chanting and ringing bells in front of this little shrine. Darby and I had been asked to come down and load up her possessions in a truck and drive it back to Nashville. For the next couple of days I watched them live their lives as Buddhists, and suffer the void that comes along with it. I had been following the specific things that we had asked to youth to pray about during the list. Our last morning there I thought back about what we had decided to pray about that day...."Pray that God gives you an opportunity to share your faith with someone". I prayed the prayer, and then asked God to help the youth with this prayer and then set off to finish off some last minute things before we left. Darby had to drive Jamie to the bank, and me and Alex would stay behind to wrap one more thing...

Alex sat down on the couch, I took a seat next to him. "So, Alex, how long have you lived in the States?" ....and so the conversation began. We talked about life in the States, life in his native country, Buddhism, his relationship with Jamie....and finally I asked him..."Has anyone ever told you about Jesus.....not the religious, outdated, oil painting Jesus on the wall of old Sunday school classes.....but the REAL Jesus?" He looked at me and said he had heard of Jesus but believed that praying to the universe and himself didn't stop him from accepting Jesus. A few minutes later my new brother was bowed in prayer, asking Jesus to change his life. WOOOHOOO!!! He began asking me questions about God and asking me to help him prayer about specific things in his life and for specific people he knew. As the door handle rattled, notifying us of Darby and Jamie's arrival, he looked at me with his moistened eyes and said "Thank you....you dont know how much I needed this" I whispered, "I think I do....." Darby and I grabbed a few last things and headed out the door. Alex hugged my neck and thanked me again. As Darby and I climbed up into the truck, Darby asked me, "What did you and Alex talk about?"

I smiled and said that we talked about his life and a few different things. "Why, whats up?"

"He looked different", he replied.

I smile and told him I had told Him about Jesus and that we had prayed together about some things. Darby said that he had noticed that his countenance had changed, and he was right. Alex was a new man! After 20 or so hours of driving, I am home again. I was able to have dinner with Esther, one of my favorite girls in the world who spent the last six months with me overseas as we drove through Atlanta.

I am excited to hear the stories of the youth as they report how God has answered their prayers this week! I'll keep you guys updated!

Processing.....

2008-03-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

"You ready?" Hal Young asked me as he walked onto the middle floor.

I had been up all night by myself in the common room of the middle floor. It was 6:00am. All of my earthly possessions were crammed into the suitcases that sat on the floor. I had been dreading this moment for a long time. I was the first one of my team to leave...

"....yeah, lemme go say goodbye."

I walked up the stairs and all of my girls were up....some of which had been up all night also. I heard a pained moan from one of them as I walked into the room...some already had tears in their eyes. I had decided before I came up, "You won't cry". I lied. One by one they stood up and hugged me. I have done some difficult things in my life, but I can't think of anything that was more difficult than letting go of those girls after each embrace.

"Alright, lets go", I whispered to the floor as I walked past Hal.

Hal and I grabbed my luggage and headed down to the car. It was raining...are goodbyes always in the rain? The girls stood at the gate for one last hug before I got into the car. I took one last look at them, then bowed my head as we pulled away. The ride to the airport was silent. I missed them before I even stepped on the plane to London.

It was an easy flight to London, the attendants even spoke English! As I got off the plane and stood in line to go through customs, I could understand everyone's conversations....it was so...weird. They were loud, they spoke matter-of-factly about things which they obviously had no clue about. Good morning Westerners. I barely caught my plane to Chicago. I found my seat. On very last row of the plane, next to a girl from the States, would be my home for the next 9 hours. I remember the plane rides over to Budapest....I didn't say a word to anyone. Now I couldn't shut up. We talked for hours. She was an art major in college and had gone to London as an intern. We ended up talking about God, Creation, art as a reflection of God, and what I saw while I was overseas....she wasn't a Christian, or at least she wasn't when I first met her.

I got out the leather journal I had kept during my time in Egypt and India. In it were recorded all the amazing things that God had done in and through me. As I fingered through the pages I was overwhelmed with how much God had blessed me... The words of one of the girls from my team echoed in my ears, "Nick, God's favor has been so strong in your life." I chewed over these words...I had been favored by God... Did I really understand the depth of this? I don't think I will ever fully comprehend the blessings that were poured out in my life because God had favored me. Me...of all people...who am I to deserve this? I cant describe the emotion, other than a mix between being thankful and being in a state of awe. I began to pray. I thanked Him, and then did something I had learned the past few months of my life. I asked God to bless me today... "Father...do something supernatural for me today, show me how much You love me, bless me..."

I didn't exactly understand why, but when I looked at the little screen on the seat in front of me it said we were over some islands in northern Canada. I looked out the window and sure enough, there were huge icebergs and cracked ice covering the ocean. I had never seen it before, it was beautiful.

As we pulled into Chicago, the runway was covered in snow. It has been a while since I had seen snow...I still disliked it as much as I did before. As I got through customs and rechecked my bags, I looked at my watch. I still had 2 hours before my flight would take off. My stomach churned, reminding me it had been a long time since I had eaten. I had absolutely no money at all, zero, and no way of getting any. I looked at the situation and decided I would just be content, I would eat in 4 or so hours, there is no sense in getting frustrated. I sat down in a quiet corner of the terminal and started to play my guitar (softly so no one would be bothered). A black man came and sat down a few chairs away. Another complete stranger. For some reason I have found some kind of comfort in talking to people I have never met before. So I started talking to him. He wasn't much of a talked, he was kinda quiet. He pulled out a large cup of french fries....my mouth watered, I went back to playing the guitar. A few minutes later he hands me the fries...he had only eaten half of them. I couldn't believe it! I hungrily devoured the fries and thanked him. Again, back to the guitar I went. The he pulled some hotwings out of the paper bag. He ate a few and handed me the rest.... I remembered the prayer I had prayed on the plane...here was the blessing I had asked for. This man knew nothing about me, he had no reason to give me half of his food....but he did. For those who are reading this from my team...HOTWINGS! Can you believe that?! For months and months all I ever talked about was how the first thing I was going to eat when I got home was hotwings! I missed hotwings so bad! Here God not only provided me with something to eat, but gave me EXACTLY what I wanted!

The robotic female voice buzzed through the speakers, announcing that my flight would be leaving shortly. I glanced up at the gate number...I was at the wrong gate! I picked up my guitar, and shook the man's hand. As he leaned forward to grab my hand, a small cross on a silver chain slipped out of his shirt. I smiled and made my way to my plane. God had brought me to the wrong gate, to sit in a seat where a kind man would soon sit next to me, carrying exactly the meal I wanted. I was blessed and I knew it.

As my plane touched down in Nashville, I suddenly became aware of the fact that I had been awake for more than 48 hours. I walked out the terminal and was greeted by many many friends and family welcoming me "home". We collected the bags and I was whisked away to different places before ending up at a friend's house where a party had been planned. It was so good to see everyone....I just wish I wasn't about to pass out from exhaustion.

So I'm back in Nashville, and I'm bored. Actually....it looks like most people in the States are bored. America...the land where the elderly get jobs at Wal-Mart and Krogers not because they need money...but because they are bored.....where everything is insured in case we find ourselves in a spot where we might have to trust in something other than money or our ability to provide for ourselves. Even with everything that I seem to be struggling with culturally here...I still love my country.

Well, my little sister and a few of her friends just came into the room and sang me a song they have written and asked me to come up with some music to go along with it. So I'm gonna jet, but I'll post again soon about what I have experienced since coming "home".

Day 167, Budapest

2008-03-06T13:34:00.000-08:00

Back in Budapest, my second home. I wont take too much time to write, as I'm quite tired and will head to bed in a second. I'm safe, I'm settled, Im not ready to pack again and head home on Saturday. Its crazy being back in civilzation again, after so long in Egypt and India. Being able to drink tap water, not having to worry about whether or not there is water to shower with, being able to read the menus at restaurants. So nice.

I arrived last Saturday, and have had meeting after meeting since I've been here. There are so many stories to tell to so many people. I have been constantly doing something ever since I have arrived. This had made it pretty difficult to find time to just talk with God....In India I HAD to depend on Him to provide for us and our needs, to speak through us, to go before us and prepare us. I was contantly in prayer because I needed to...I HAD to, or our ministry would nosedive. Once arriving here in Budapest, there was no long the NEED to pray so much or read or seek His guidance....or so I thought. With the crazy schedule and all the friends I hadn't seen in so long buzzing at my "to do" list, my devotional time took the back burner. After a few days of back burner devotions I had an interesting feeling.... All day I just didn't feel right, I kept thinking, "I really need to pray for a while....I really need to read some....". All day this was on my mind as I traveled through the city to and from different places. I was aware I needed to get away for a bit to spend some time with God. That night I found this time. As I sat down I felt relaxed, finally. I picked up my little leather journal and began writing my prayer, (I write most of my prayers). After the first few sentenced I put the pen down and moved the journal so the tears wouldn't spot the page. What was happening? It hit me like a brick, one of the most beautiful revelations of my life. I looked back over the last few sentences and smiled. I had seen those words before, I had written them before, but never to God...

"I have realized how easy it is to put my relationship with You on the back burner. This worries me. I don't want to just have 'prayer' times, I desire to be in constant conversation with You. I dont want my life to be about just me...when I think about my life, I want to think about me AND You. I desire for You to be a huge part of my everyday...I can't live without You. I've begun to fall in love with You. Its been a few days since I have had a deep conversation with You, and today I've had this sinking feeling in my heart much like you get when your loved one had been away for a while and you dont feel 'whole'. I have to have time with You or I don't feel complete....I miss You"

I realized that I had written those words to someone I was in love with, and the sinking feeling was very similar.... I began to realize that not only did I love God.....but I've fallen IN love with Him.... to the point when I don't feel "whole" when I haven't had some time with Him in a while. It is an amazing feeling to be able to come to such a realization. Its like when you spend a lot of time with someone, and they grow on you, and you love them....then you realize that you are IN love with the person and you get those butterflies in your stomach when you think about it and you keep repeating "The Phrase" over and over in your mind because its amazing to think about, and it feels good to hear yourself say it...you know the phrase, you have all said it........"I'm in love......I...I....I can't believe.....I....I have actually fallen in love with this guy/girl". Its not a choice you made, its not something you are forced into....its that amazing realization that you HAVE been in love for a while and have only noticed it just then. So this was an amazing part of my week, to realize that my relationship with the Lord has gone past the stage of viewing Him as the bearded guy in white with His arms open in poorly painted pictures in old wooden frames in church lobbies, to the God I have fallen in love with, Who I enjoy having a cup of coffee with, Who actually cares about all the little things in my life, Who 'completes' my day.

So I have one more day here in Budapest, then leave early the next morning. I am excited to come home.

Day 159, Goa

2008-02-27T05:23:00.001-08:00

I'm okay. I'm alive, no broken bones, in good health, and im filled with joy.
After a short flight from Bangalore we arrived in Goa, India. As the jeep took us further north and through all the fields and dirt roads I began to wonder what kind of world I was entering. There were many middle-aged men and women who wore the baggy clothes and dreadlocks that are the signature of hippies. Apparently many of these people are former businessmen who come to Goa for vacation and never go home. There is something exotic in the air in Goa. We pulled down the dirt road to the house we would we staying in. Tucked back nicely in the woods is our nice little "resort". Im a two minute walk from the beach. There are some pretty nice things I have learned and seen in Goa, and it has been an amazing experience and debriefing. I'll write all these later.

With all that said...Two days ago I was in a motorcycle accident. (re-read first line of post). While in Goa I have had a motorcycle. I was out one night just exploring and enjoying the ride. I was zipping around a corner and went to take a right hand turn (they drive on the left side of the street). I leaned into the turn and realized I was headed straight for a truck. I tucked in and leaned harder to take the turn sharper and pass inbetween the truck and the wall. I turned too hard, me and the bike hit the pavement and skidded across the road. Dont worry, the bike is only a little scratched. I am fine, no broken bones. I have some pretty bad roadrash on my hands, back, hip, shoulder, knee, and ankle. It will heal nicely. And for the worried moms...im sorry, but no, I was not wearing a helmet. They aren't available.

On a lighter note, after dressing the wounds and sleeping a night, I was back on the bike the following day and haven't had another upset. I have enjoyed my time here. We leave tomorrow morning for Mumbai, where we will catch a plane to Italy, and then after a while, another one back to Budapest. Then it's only a week before I come home! I'll post again in a few days, just some random stories and thoughts. Then I'll be there to tell you all in person!

Day 152, Bangalore

2008-02-20T05:19:00.000-08:00

We gathered together in one of the rooms to pray and have devotion. It was early. We talked about the schedule for the day. We were going to the slums to do a program. We had two hours in the slums and during that time we would do two dramas, play a game with the children, and give a message. When asked who would give a testimony no one answered until called on specifically. Then we asked for someone to give a message. I had told everyone that I wanted to see other people, besides me, sharing messages. No one spoke up. Even after sitting there encouraging and calling on people specifically, no one would speak. Then I found out that it didn't have to be a message for Christians, but for non-believers, that we could simply share the Gospel.....

I told them that it was easy, just share the Gospel, tell The Story! Thats all! Still no one would volunteer. I was, and am, disappointed. We were told that there would be 35-45 people there, and we had an opportunity to share the Treasure that we have found. No one. This was our last opportunity to speak openly like this before our outreach is over. The last chance to share the Gospel to the villages, and I was the only one willing. After the meeting I left with a heavy heart. We have been at this for over 5 months now, and there is still the fear of stepping out and speaking the Truth....I was troubled. I sat on my bed praying, I knew I wasn't God's first choice today. I knew His first choice for someone to share the Gospel with the village was one of the girls. I prayed against the fear. No one came.

At the beginning of the outreach I didn't want to share the Gospel either, I was afraid of not knowing what to say, I didn't like my testimony, I just wanted to work behind the scenes. But then I realized I was missing out on blessings that could be mine. I was so hungry for God's blessing, so hungry to see God do something, but was not willing to preach or speak the Truth that is Christ. When this became apparent to me I decided I wasn't going to subject myself to that fear, I would not let anyone else have the blessing that was meant for me.

God's will will be done.
God's will will be done whether we choose to do it or not.
We have opportunities to do God's will, and there are blessings tied to these.
When we choose to not do His will, He will use someone else, and they will get the blessing.

We got to the village and rounded up the people. There were many children. While speaking to the guide I found out that these people had heard about Jesus, but still worshiped other gods. I knew what the Holy Spirit was guiding me to do, but it was uncomfortable....

We started with some games with the children. "Duck Duck Goose" was the first game. To them, it was actually "Duh duh (and then one REALLY emphasized DUH)". As one of the children made his way around the circle he pushed hard on my head and yelled, "DUH!" (which meant goose). I got up and chased him around the circle. I had taken my sandals off so I could run, and I scraped my toe on the rough ground. As I wiped the blood off my toe I continued and picked someone to chase me. Around the circle we went until I rested in his spot. After I sat down, a little boy, maybe 3 years old, squeezed in next to me. He looked up at me and snuggled in. I smiled and he held out his hand. I put mine hand under his, in an attempt to show him that I cared about him and wanted to hold him. He looked at my hand and then put his under mine, and with the other hand began to trace the lines in my palm. As he examined my hand he noticed the dried blood on one of my fingers. With his finger, a quarter the size of mine, he began to scratch away the dried blood and tried to wipe all the dirt off my hand. I didn't know why he did this...i just sat there in awe as this child showed ME how much he cared about me. He was so captivated with my large white hand covered with dirt and blood that cradled him in my arm.....I only hope he comes to know and be captivated by the large hands covered in dirt and blood that REALLY holds him, and were pierced so his life could be spared.

After the dramas, I grabbed my Bible and stood in the middle of them. From there I spoke about God's love for them, I related it to their love for their children. I told them the Gospel, and about sin and the nature of God. They were listening, their eyes were fixed on me, they were open. As the time ticked away, it came to the point where I knew I had to do what the Holy Spirit had told me to do. I was unsure how they would react, I had never rebuked anyone before, I was afraid that coming against their other gods would make them stop listening and walk away from what God was trying to say to them......I considered this briefly, then pushed through and said what God had put in my mouth. I told them that their other gods were keeping them from having the relationship with God that He desired, that their gods were the sin that separated them from Him. He wanted to bless them, He wanted to show them His love, He wanted to do good things in and through them, but their other gods were stopping this. I told them to repent, to tear down these idols, to give up their other gods and follow the only one true God.....one rolled his eyes and sat back on the rock and smirked....the others were listening.

I led them through the sinner's pray, told them about the Holy Spirit and being joined with other believers. I turned and went to sit down. I was greatly encouraged by the words of those who were listening, they spoke very highly of what was said and told me how great the message was. All I can think about is the little boy who noticed the blood on my hand and tried his best to clean it off.

Day 151, Bangalore

2008-02-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Our time here in Bangalore is quickly coming to an end. We leave in 6 days and head to Goa, India. We have been here for one week and have only done a handful of things. Medical outreach, children's programs, I only preached once, threw a Valentine's Day program, done our dramas a few times for different church programs, led worship at a church... It hasn't been too busy, but my faith has been strengthened more in this past week than it ever has! I came looking for huge salvations and healing miracles to build my faith, but these I haven't seen this week. So what has caused this back-burned relaxed week of ministry to be my most strengthening week, and the week to build my faith the most?

It began as I had time to look at my thoughts. Before this week I had been a real student of the Word, I was memorizing verses left and right and really enjoying it. But something had happened and I had lost this passion. I had noticed that in my heart I had put up walls to a few of my team members...outwardly I wasn't mean to them, but in my heart I didn't like them as much as the others and preferred to not be around them if I had the choice. As I would go out to do a ministry somewhere I began to question myself....over and over again..."Do you really care Nick?"....."Does it matter to you whether or not these people go to heaven or hell?"....."Do these people matter to you.....REALLY matter?"....."Nick.....do you actually CARE!"

"Of course I do, I'm here aren't I", I would start.

All of this was sparked from a story I read about a man who was faced with a similar question. The more I asked myself, the more irritated I got with the question, until finally the answer came...

No...

I felt embarrassed, a little shamed, I was confused and troubled....I have been here preaching and living the Gospel for all to see, but only because I desired to do it because it was God's desire for me to be here and do this. I was enjoying it, but not as much as I could have.

Right before we took the train here to Bangalore I had hit a dry spot in my passion for putting the Word of God on my heart. We have all felt this. As I meditated on my hardened heart towards a few of my team members, my dry spot for the Word, my lack of REAL concern and love for these people, I was moved to pray.....this time not for our ministry, not for the Indians or the children, not for my team....but for ME. The prayers were simple, and I wrote my concerns and prayers in my journal. The events that happened the following days shook my heart and spirit as I realized what had happened.

The next day I found myself alone and with little to do, I picked up my Bible and began to skim some pages to pass the time. As I read I became so entranced by what I was reading....I was ALIVE, my Spirit was stirred and I read and read...these past few days I have read 4 books I've never read before all the way through. My time in the Word is the highlight of my day again.....

One of the team members I had hardened my heart towards came to me and shared how they were struggling with some of the other team members, how he felt alone and couldn't wait for this outreach to be over....I was moved to compassion for him and in my heart I felt the wall break down, he has been my closest companion ever since and the Lord has used me to build him up and encourage him, even provide his needs when I was blessed with an abundance once. "Do you really care, Nick?"

One day around lunch I was separated from my team doing some things I needed to get done. I wasn't in a great mood as I was pondering the status of my heart and some other news I had received that troubled me. I was hungry and decided that I didn't want the food I had with me. I walked to a restaurant close by, alone, desiring to grab some food to go and retire to my room to eat in silence. As I walked in the restaurant I saw the other two members in line that I had put up walls against. I walked up behind them and got my food. "For here or to go?"....I hesitated..."I'll eat here". I took a seat with the two and had a wonderful time with them. I really enjoyed my lunch and the fellowship I had with them. I did the same thing the following night. "Do you really care, Nick?"

As we walked to the place where we would do our children's program, I began to ponder what kind of life they lived, what their everyday looked like, what they thought about the King I serve....did they really know who He was? As I sat with them....i just loved them. As I was called to the front I made my way through the children, they all looked up at me as I picked my way through them....they grabbed my hands....they all reached up just trying to touch me. Again I was moved to compassion...."Do you really care, Nick?"

The day before, we sat in a cool, concrete room. As I waited for the college students to pour in I picked through the message I had in mind. Why did I choose to speak about this particular subject... as I shared with them how to live in the Spirit, how to have Him live THROUGH you, how to live in a world surrounded by worldly things and still see God and live in a deep relationship with.... as I look around the room at these students.....I spoke with compassion....."Do you really care, Nick?"....."Yes...I actually do..."

As I realized what had happened I was moved to tears. I had done nothing of myself to promote any of these changed....but I am different. I am in awe....I asked God to encourage me in my reading, I prayed that He would give me His compassion, I prayed that he would change my heart towards my team members....and He DID!! In two days He completely changed the status of my heart, and I realized that this is simply because I asked Him too!

Too often we go through life without challenging what we are thinking, without asking for God to change US. When faced with a problem we usually hear, "Lord, please change them, help them to understand, help them to see how they irritate me and how you really desire for them to be". No...It was different this time... "Lord, change ME!"...."Lord, bless ME!"....PICK ME!!! My faith has been strengthened more than ever not because I saw some healing miracle or God answered a prayer for someone to be saved.....but because I prayed that God would change the status of my heart and He did...miraculously!

I want to encourage you all who read this....meditate on the status of your heart...THINK about what you are thinking about....challenge the way you think..... When we face up to our thoughts, our character, the status of our heart, we are troubled when we see an area that is not reflecting Christ through us. We pray for money, we pray for nice things, we pray for God to remove the stress or struggles we are dealing with....He answers them sometimes....but sometimes He puts us through stress or struggles for a reason, a healthy reason....

If you want to see a miracle, if you want to see God do something amazing, pray for Him to change your heart, open your eyes...ask. It is God's will for us to be transformed into His desire for our life, and when we pray in the direction of His will, the miracles will follow, His will WILL be done, and you will BE the miracle, the living testimony of His grace and ability to perform supernatural things in our lives. Im the example, I'm living in it....you can too... Think about it.....

Day 145, Bangalore

2008-02-13T00:24:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't heard, I have been really praying about continuing missions for a few years. My focus would be medical missions and I would leave in the fall for three months of specialized medical training for developing contries followed by three more months of fieldwork where we would focus on dental work, delivering babies, administering medicine, treating wounds and diseases, blood and urine analysis, malnutrition and many other things. I have had this on my heart for a long time now, and the opportunity has opened up in Guatemala. While nothing is set in stone, and the Lord could lead me another direction, this is the direction I am heading.

Yesterday I got my first taste of medical missions. Me and two girls went alone with a medical team here to assist them in the slums. As we carried the backpacks and medical supplies in I began to imagine myself in years to come doing the exact same thing. We sat up the medical supplies and waited for the people to pour in. Soon we were flooded by little children. As we cleaned one of the gashes on a little boy's leg I was amazed at the process. The wound was a few days old and was covered with dirt. Before we could see exactly what was wrong we had to first clean the wound. This is the most painful process of healing. The same thing is true in our lives. Before we can allow Christ to enter into our wounds, we have to acknowledge that they are there and wait patiently as He removes the "dirt" from our lives. The little boy sat there whincing as the last of the dirt was removed from the wound. Then the healing process could begin. We finished up and the boy was happy again. He was so pleased to have his wound taken care of....but I think he was happier that someone had acknowledged the fact that he was hurt and needed help. Amazing how this same process echoes throughout our lives. Dont allow your wounds to stay covered with dirt. Bring them to the surface and allow Christ to enter into them. He never heals the outside first. If we had just cleaned the outside up and sewed it shut with the dirt under the surface, it would never heal properly. No, instead Christ enters INTO our wounds and heals us from the inside out, slowly removing the death and decay, the dirt, from our wounds and restoring us to the way we were created to be. Lets continue to examine our lives, find the wounds, and invite the Physician to do His magic.

Day 143, Bangalore

2008-02-10T22:26:00.000-08:00

I just spent 24 hours on a train from Mumbai to Bangalore. Very....interesting. As we crammed all our luggage on the train *cough7girls=alotofluggagecough* the girls started picking "beds". They were more like padded shelves, but whatever. The beds were about a foot and a half wide. There were 8 of them. In the main compartment there were six beds, stacked three high, about 6 1/2 feet long. The girls all filled the top four beds, leaving 2 bottom beds which were occupied by an Indian couple. These beds ran perpendicular to the train, then there were two beds that ran parallel to the train. I got stuck with one of these....of course. The only problem: The bed was walled off at the head and foot, and the bed was only about 5 feet 9 inches. Im 6 foot...my feet couldn't even hang off the bottom because of the wall. How is it that the tallest person on our team gets the shortest bed? Because im the guy. Thank you Lord for giving me an opportunity to sacrifice my comfort. It made a memory, I'm happy.

Needless to say I had a less that enjoyable nights sleep. When everyone woke the next morning we still had 14 hours left on the train. We did absolutely nothing. lol. We just waited and wrote and read. A few hours before we got off I got my guitar out and decided it would be a good idea to have some worship while we were surrounded by a bunch of Indians. We began to sing and worship, everyone was listening, you could hear it in the whole car. There is just something about worshiping around a bunch of non-believers that gets my blood pumping. As I finished up i decided to talk to the two Indians that were sharing a compartment with us. After a while of talking I found out that they were making a pilgrimage to the south to offer prayers in temples. What was I getting into. I shared my testimony and why my team was heading to Bangalore. They were very interested, and enjoyed talking about it. I have found that the people here are very tolerable and accepting of other religions, but aren't really interested in changing to the Truth. We got off the train and said good-bye to them and made our way to the bus.

Our room isnt too bad, me and Ruseball are sharing a room with three American guys from another DTS outreach team. THANK YOU LORD. This is the first time I've been around another American guy in months, and it is soothing. I'm looking forward to our work here, it will be wonderful and I'm expecting the Lord to do amazing things.

I've gotta run for now, I'll give you all another update after I get the orientation to Bangalore and know what my team will be doing.

Day 140, Mumbai

2008-02-08T01:09:00.000-08:00

Today is our last day in Mumbai. We will go speak and do a drama at a concert tonight and this will sum up our ministry in this city. Tomorrow night we leave for Bangalore, which is in South India. We will spend 24 hours on the train. From what we have heard, this will be an interesting train ride.
My illness is fading. Thank you so much for your prayers. After almost three weeks of coughing and illness I am finally healing. I know many of you have been praying for me, and it is working!

This week we traveled to the largest temple in Mumbai, and the largest Muslim mosque. It was a powerful prayer walk. As we made our way to the temple we passed many people selling plates full of flowers and coconuts....everyone was selling them. As we climbed the stairs to the temple at the top I began to pray. The Indians were so blind....I couldn't believe it. They brought these plates of flowers and coconuts in and walked around the temple, expecting their gods to bless them, and then would take them back to their house so their house would be blessed by the flowers.

As I walked around I was almost overwhelmed. They were SOOO headstrong about their religion...they were SOOO blind to the real truth, their religion wasn't just a Sunday service religion, it was a complete way of life, the way they dress, speak, think, work, eat, pray....everything they did was under the guise of their religion. I began to think, "How is it possible to show these people the truth....it is too hard to change their life". I started to think about everything that would have to change in their life for them to follow Christ and started to realize how impossible it was. Then I felt the Holy Spirit quicken something to my mind. It was then that I realized that I had doubted the strength of our God. He is strong enough to break their religion's hold on them. HE IS STRONG ENOUGH. From that point on, that is what my prayer was focused on, declaring the strength of the Lord, declaring His power over their religion, over their way of life, and declaring that He has the power to change people's lives. I was not overwhelmed anymore.

I walked to the back of the temple where I found a staircase winding down to the sea. I walked down the stairs and sat there praying for the Lord to open their eyes to what they are doing. They get NOTHING from their gods, absolutely NOTHING, yet they continue to do their rituals in hopes that when they die they will be reincarnated into something better than a bug or dog (or worse, a cat). As I sat there I watched some people walk down with their platters of coconuts and flowers, and hand a girl their coconut. She walked across the rocks and down to the water where she threw the coconut in the water as an offering to their gods. I sat there in amazement. "How foolish you are! Open your eyes to what you are doing!" I thought to myself. They throw coconuts in the sea in order to please their gods. They carve statues and worship them....worship something that they themselves created! The last time it was counted they concluded that there are over 330,000,000 gods in India...That is 330 MILLION different gods that they worship....monkey gods, rat gods, cow gods, coconut gods....you name it, they worship it....they worship everything that is lower than them. How cunning the prince of this world is to get people to believe they will benefit in their "afterlife" by worshiping the rats and cats and cows and everything else on the planet that is of less value than they themselves.

I prayed that their eyes would be opened, that they would begin to think about their life, that they would begin to hear the truth.

We left there and went to the mosque afterwards. I spent a month in Egypt where I was constantly surrounded by the mosques and their eerie chants to prayer, where all the women completely covered themselves in black, with only a small slit for their eyes, where the men had huge bruises on their heads from smacking their foreheads on the ground in prayer 5 times a day. I was very familiar with Islam and had a pretty good picture of what to expect. A small rock walkway jutted a few hundred yards out into the sea where the mosque sat surrounded by water. As I entered the mosque I was shocked to see how different it was. It was mixed with Hinduism! The women didnt wear the black, the men had no bruises, the chant wasn't playing.....The Muslims here conform their religion however necessary in order to get people to follow their religion. Muslims don't worship idols, but these did. In a country where people are used to praying "to" something tangible, the muslims put things infront of them so they could worship them.

This was a shock to me, but it made sense at the same time. The enemy is so focused on separating people from Christ that he will use any means necessary, even if it contradicts his own made up religions, to get them to do it. In America, Islam is taking off like a wildfire. They are mainly doing this through the black population. They tell them that Jesus was white and preached that the Kingdom of Heaven was for white people, and that Mohammad was black and accepted blacks. By this, the muslims convert many blacks to Islam. When I spoke to one of the muslims here about this he was completely shocked that they did that. He said it was wrong and that Mohammad wasn't black. In the Qua'ran it says that it is okay to lie to people in order to get them to believe your religion. I didnt realize the extent of how true this was until I saw this mosque. Islam changes and shifts its beliefs and lies in order to get as many followers as possible.

I am so thankful for the stability of living a life with Christ, where you are anchored to something solid, the ROCK. Something that doesn't move and shift, but has always been and will always be the same.

Well, I dont know if I will be able to post until after I arrive in Bangalore where I will tell you all about the 24 hour train ride. Please pray that I will get some sleep and it wont be too bad.

Day 139, Mumbai

2008-02-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

Whew, its been a packed week. I just got back from a meeting with the local ministry workers here in Mumbai, my team is leaving on Saturday to do ministry in Bangalore. We will be in Bangalore for two weeks before we head to Goa to debrief.

I forgot to share a story of provision with you all! I was spending some time one morning looking over my things, everything I have with me. I have some clothes, a Bible and a journal, my brother's guitar, and a broken laptop and iPod, even the suitcases were borrowed. I look back at what I actually owned back home.... I don't own a vehicle anymore....no furniture....the clothes I didn't bring with me were the clothes I dont wear.... Then it hit me, I don't own anything anymore! I've got my clothes, my Bible, some books, and thats about it. I actually still OWE money! lol. I was reading through Matthew 6 where it talks about how God knows our needs, He feeds the birds and clothes the grass, and how much more important are we! I just started praying. I am the only one on my team who hasn't raised all the money we were each supposed to contribute. I still needed $1,400 for our team to have enough money to finish our ministry here. I had begun to doubt that I would be able to raise this, it seems to hard to get support while you are overseas. I just prayed and asked. Later this day I received an e-mail saying that someone had donated $400! I was so amazed, it was such a blessing. Not only did this help with my financial needs while I'm over here, but it picked up my spirit and strengthened my faith in His provision! How wonderful He is! I do no know who sent this money, but I just wanted to thank you so much, you have no idea how spirit-led that was. It was an answer to prayer and it has blessed me so much! Thank you!

Okay, im being kicked off the computer in this net cafe, I'll post more soon. Probably tomorrow.

Day 134, Mumbai

2008-02-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

I have been told that a lot of you are asking about my iPod. lol. I have tried drying it out and charging it...nothing works. Its okay though, its just an iPod, its not the end of the world. He gives and takes away.

Wednesday morning we crammed onto a bus with our small backpacks for a trip to a base a few hours away in the hill country of Lonavala. Mostly inhabited my small "tribes" or slum areas, there is a fairly nice YWAM base nestled in the mountains there. Our busride through the mountains was very scenic and the monkies that swung in the trees and walked along the rode helped the time to pass and helped us to not notice the absense of A/C. We were going to teach. At this base there was a new team of DTS students who had just begun their lecture phase. Shortly after we arived I had to change into my dress clothes and prepare to teach. The students entered the classroom and I began speaking about dramas and outreaches. After two hours I was about half way done. lol. We ended the class and met with a man named Alex who took us to his house for dinner. For those of you who know my bud Marko, Alex is the guy who led him to the Lord. After an evening of dinner and talking we returned to the base and retired to our rooms where I spent the whole night coughing.

For about 2 weeks now I have been fighting off a cold. I am congested and cough non-stop. I dont think the pollution is helping much. Hopefully this will pass soon. Pray for healing.

The next morning we woke and were briefed on a local outreach the students were going on. We decided to go with them. My team paired up with a team of 10 DTS students from the Lonavala base. They had only had a couple outreaches so far and were new to it. The village that we would be taken to had just been reached a few weeks ago, and so far all the outreaches that had been done had been praying outreaches where they walk around the village praying. We brought a battery powered CD player and planned to do a drama for the village. Our group, along with the DTS students, circled to pray for the next few hours of outreach. The students were still shy and uncomfortable (I remember this phase my team went through during our lecture time), and I was so proud to see each member of my team pray out and declare the outreach for the Kingdom and ask that the Holy Spirit be with us and speak through us. Only two from the DTS students prayed, one of them being a staff member. As the SUV climbed the mountain rodes I thought about the village that we were about to enter.

We piled out of the SUV and began walking. We entered someone's house and just sat there. They students didnt know what to do. We talked to the outreach leader and he said we could do a drama outside if we wanted. Well, we wanted to! As we stepped out onto the dirt rode and began to set the CD player up, the Indian Staff member told his team what we were going to do. There was no crowd, no one watching, just a few people walking past in the street every few minutes. I began to wonder how this would work....it was a small street, no room for anyone to crowd and watch....and no way to let the village know! They'll come, I reassured myself. We set up like we were about to start the drama....some people passing by watched curiously as we took our positions. Only one problem...the CD player wouldn't work. No matter what we tried, we couldn't get it to work. So we decided to start singing. As we sang, more and more villagers stopped to watch, then the children came. After a few minutes there were 50-75 people crowded on both sides of the street, infront of us, behind us, on both sides, crammed together. We decided to do a drama that didnt need music. We located some props we might need and then got someone to translate for us that we were about to do a drama. Afterwards I would preach.

We did our drama and the staff member from the other team came to translate for me. As I stood there preaching the Gospel, more and more people began to come. I spoke for about 45 minutes, and at the end I spoke about salvation and gave a opportunity for them to pray. As he translated the prayer, I looked up to see so many people, children and all, bowing their heads in prayer, repenting for their sins and asking Jesus to come into their life. I couldn't believe it. They Holy Spirit had been with us. What an amazing outreach.

As we finished up our program the villagers came to speak with us, my girls played with the little girls, and the guys spoke with the men and boys who had questions or just wanted to meet us or ask us for personal prayer. As me and my translator walked a little farther from the group he said to me, "That was amazing.....this is the first time the Gospel has ever been preached here....that was so powerful....thank you".

We got back to the base, I washed up, and prepared to teach another 2 hour class on outreach dramas. This one wouldn't start until 9pm. I walked into the classroom and finished up teaching the DTS students the dramas and how to use them. After we encouraged them in their outreaches we retired to our rooms and I spent another night coughing.

We left the following day and came back here to Mumbai. Which is where my story leaves off right now. I am still pretty sick, but looking back....I have realized that during the classes I taught every night and the preaching in the village....i didn't cough once. Thats a miracle.

Day 127, Mumbai

2008-01-26T06:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a packed day. Pastor Ashish came to lead me and three girls into the red-light district here in Mumbai. We said a quick prayer, and headed out. We arrived and followed the pastor through the slum areas to where the prostitutes were working. I didn't know what to expect, I had a very brief orientation to the redlight district. We walked a few hundred yards into the slums and then I saw them. Lined up were about 25 young women, some looked to be 15 years old. They all wore bright red lipstick, this is what set them apart as prostitutes. He walked through them and ducked into the narrow alley behind them. We followed close behind. After a short walk down the narrow alley we came to an open spot between the shacks where a blanket was spread on the dirt floor and several men and women sat playing cards. He spoke to them in Hindi, shook their hands, and then turned and led us through a maze of back-alleys. As we stepped over the holes filled with sewage and over the trash, trying not to touch the walls that closed in on us on both sides, I began a simple prayer....

"Just one today Lord....thats all I ask....I want to see at least one soul added to the Kingdom today....please...."

We made our exit from the back-alleys and into the open streets of the slums again. We followed Pastor Ashish to a shack where a woman sat crouching down washing clothes in a bucket. She stood up when she saw us approach and greeted the pastor warmly. After shaking our hands she turned and motioned for us to come in. I kicked off my sandles and ducked into the little house, we all sat and Pastor Ashish spoke to her for a few minutes telling her who we were. We sat silently, not knowing anything about this woman or why she greeted the pastor so warmly. After a while he told us that she had come to know the Lord six years ago. She used to be a prostitute also, but when she was saved she gave this up. She put her children in a christian school and never went back to prostitution. We shared with her a little bit about our testimonies. She got up and left and came back with cold drinks for us all, by the look of the shack we sat in I knew this was a sacrifice. She told us that her 12 year old daughter spoke fluent English and would be home shortly. When her children came home we sang some songs and had a good time of fellowship with them. From there we went to another house to pray for some other people. As we popped back onto the street we made our way back to where we first saw the prostitutes.

On the way a man called the pastor's name and we stopped. While he spoke to the man some prostitutes came walking up to where we were. They didn't speak English, but were interested in the three girls I brought with me. They smiled at them and shook their hands. As me and the pastor finished talking to the man and the boys that had gathered we turned and he translated for the girls. After a few minutes one of my girls asked if she could pray for one of them....the girl let her. Then, one by one, they all sat down as my girls prayed for them. No salvations, but they appreciated the prayers. We said goob-bye and continued. When we reached the area where we had first seen the red lipstick we ducked down the alley and went to the blanket where they sat playing cards. We didn't know who they were, but they seemed to have built some kind of relationship with the pastor. Moments later we all filed into one of the makeshift houses and they all followed us in. We were told we could sing one song, and then I had an opportunity to speak for a few minutes. I spoke about how God provides a way out when He invites us to follow Him, He always meets our needs when He calls us to Himself and His will for our life. After Pastor Ashish translated for me, he said we could pray. There was only one man in the "house". I laid hands on him as I prayed. Afterwards we all went outside and took a seat. One of the women, who seemed to have some kind of authority brought out cold beverages for us. The man I touched while I prayed walked up to me and Pastor Ashish and told him that he wanted me to pray for him, to pray for healing because he had asthma. The Pastor told the girls to talk with the women on the blanket, one of them spoke English. We sat down with the man and continued talking, I spoke of stories of healing to build the man's faith. After a minute of translating, the man said something and the pastor looked at me and said,

"Stay with me a moment, I am going into Hindi for a while to witness to this man."

I started praying in the Spirit. The man's eyes were moist. I didnt know what the pastor was saying, but something was taking place. A few minutes later the man held out his hands, palm up, and bowed his head. We held his hands and the pastor walked him through the sinner's prayer. After we prayed for his healing, the pastor started speaking to the women. They pointed to a building next to them which stood out. It was concrete and two stories high. We walked up to the second level and entered on of the rooms. Fresh paint was still on the walls.

"Okay, let me tell you why I brought you here, I wanted to get you out of their hearing range. All of those people down there are pimps. The man we prayed for was a pimp, the women who brought the drinks, all of them. They manage the girls we walked past. They are building these rooms for 'business'. I want us to walk through these rooms and declare them for the Kingdom."

He continued talking to us about all that was happening and I just stood there in amazement. We were totally clueless as to what was actually taking place that day. The man surrendering his life to Christ, praying for them all, them bringing us drinks....all of it, to pimps and prostitutes in the heart of the redlight district. Unbelievable. We walked through the rooms praying. When we finished and were about to leave, the head lady who was in charge came to us and had us enter one of the rooms. She said something to one of the girls who darted off after receiving some instructions. She said something else to one of the men who also turned and walked off. A few moments later the man returned with chairs, and the girl had sent a little boy in with 6 cups of chai tea. We sat there and talked as we sipped our tea....we had done our work well, and left having accomplished something.

Let me tell you all, always pray with faith, and never think you have to have elaborate, long, detailed, well thought out prayers. The Lord knows what is in your heart before you even say it. He answered my simple prayer:

"Just one today Lord....thats all I ask....I want to see at least one soul added to the Kingdom today....please...."

We got a ride back to the hostile and the pastor asked to use the bathroom in my room. He walked out, "Hmm, you guys not have any water?". I smiled. "It comes and goes, you never know when to expect it". He said goodbye and left. I sat on my bed going over what happened that day and then met up with the group to go to dinner. We ate with a mission team from Germany and then came home. I began to walk up the stairs when I noticed it looked like it had rained.....inside.....

As I got to the second floor I saw several men standing at the door with mops and big squeegees....The door was wide open. I walked in and there were more men, mopping the floor. My suitcase had been moved to a chair, and all of my books that were on the floor were soaking wet and lying open under a fan. I smiled, not knowing what had happened.

"Tap...tap was on" one of the men laughed as he pointed to the bathroom.

One of the girls who had stayed behind told me that someone had left the tap on in the bathroom and it flooded the whole room with 3 inches of water. It had tile floors and baseboards, so there was no damage, save my personal belongings. The men finished up as I looked to see what had been ruined. My suitcase was soaked, along with all the clothes in it, but they would dry. I looked at the books to see which ones had been safe and which ones had be ruined. The books on the floor were the ones I had read the night before, the ones on the bed were the ones I had read that morning.....this was the determining factor to see which ones were wet and which ones were dry. Books that were ruined:

1. The Message Bible
2. The Complete Evangelism Handbook
3. My Upmost for His Highest
4. The journal I had kept during my first three months overseas.
5. The Screwtape Letters

I took a hairdryer to the journal and it turned out okay, It has a leather cover which prevented the water from completely reaching all the pages. The other books are goners.

Two Bibles (NISB and NKJV), my journal from the second half of my outreach here, another book I am halfway done reading, and my guitar survived the flood. I began pulling the clothes out of my suitcase so I could set them out to dry. This is when I saw the white cord to a pair of headphones....."Lord...no..."...I pulled them and sure enough, on the other end of the cord was the 80GB iPod my brother bought for me before I left. I just smiled....i couldn't believe I smiled....I went and plugged it in and tried to turn it on....nothing. Its gone. My teammates seem to be having more of a hard time with my loss than I am. I can't be upset, or even disappointed. I am seeing God do amazing things here, and if I lose my laptop to a freak electrical surge and my iPod to a flood, so be it, I would gladly give it all to reach these people. Im sure I can get the iPod replaced when I get home. It is probably under warranty.

Cost of a laptop: $500-$1500
80GB iPod: $350
Four books: $100
Seeing a pimp surrender his life to the Lord: Priceless.

Oh yeah....I know everyone is wondering who left the tap on right? Pastor Ashish. lol! Oh well. He didn't know.

Day 125, Mumbai

2008-01-24T08:36:00.000-08:00

I was informed that the taxi with the pastor would arrive at 3:00pm. Today I would be preaching in the slums. I spent the morning in my room preparing my sermons. I was told to prepare three: One for non-believers, one for new believers, and one for those who have been walking with the Lord for years. Sharing the Gospel for new-believers didn't need any work, and I had knew what I wanted to say to new-believers, but what about those who have been "saved" for years? I decided to start reading and allow whatever pops out to be my message. I read through Acts about Paul's conversion. The way Jesus appeared to him....they way He sent him to the Gentiles, but didnt give him a message to preach. All He did was reveal Himself to him, He began a relationship... Here was my sermon. I would preach about Paul's relationship with Christ, his devotion and passion for Christ....Paul was devoted to a Person not a cause. I had spoken a few days earlier about the Lord shining through our lives not our words, and would tie this into how we cannot have an effective ministry without an affective relationship with the Lord. I would encourage them to not focus on figuring out the words to say to their family and friends to lead them to the Lord, but instead focus on having a deep relationship to the Father through the Holy Spirit. I would then focus the message on living in the Spirit. This is what was important to me, that they understand the need for and the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and how it changes your life.

I put my nice clothes on, grabbed my Bible, and introduced myself to the pastor. From there we went to the slums. He told me that everyone I would meet today would be Christians. We walked through the trash and came to a little shack with a cloth hanging down acting as a door. I slipped my shoes off and ducked inside. I didn't know what to expect. There were about 10 Indian women in there. They shook my hand and all sat down. I crossed my legs and sat down. The pastor took a seat next to me. I was told that the boys had been sent to tell everyone of our arrival, and others would soon be filing in. They introduced themselves and the pastor did the same. As the others began filling the tiny shack one of the women began making tea over a little fire. One of the women began to sing, and others followed. Then a little boy, maybe 11 years old began to sing and play a drum....then he and a little girl, maybe 7 years old started dancing and singing songs....these people were worshiping! Really worshiping! I was choked up. The 20 people packed inside this house were filled with the Holy Spirit. They didn't need to be told about the importance of a relationship with the Lord, they had it! They knew it better than most!

I preached anyways, though I didn't talk as much on the Holy Spirit because they were living in Him. The little girl followed me to the other houses, playing with my hands as I spoke. The joy in that little girl spoke volumes to me. I walked away having learned more that I taught. Well, I gotta run again, no time in this shop

Day 122, Mumbai

2008-01-21T08:18:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty interesting week. I have a limited time here in this internet cafe so I'll just post some highlights.

There was some kind of power surge or something while we were out and it fried my laptop....
I had my laptop with me because I am in charge of all our finances. So I lost everything on the computer, I sent a record of our accounting books in an e-mail a few weeks ago, so we are able to keep them, but the past couple of weeks accounting books are gone. Not to mention the 150+ list of foods I want to eat when I come home. I had been making it since I left home, all the food I have been missing out on. I'll schedule a time for a good cry later

The past four days have been amazing. We have been working with Delirious, Joyce Meyers, Brian Houston, and Hillsong at the "Festival of Life" here in Mumbai. We began at 6:00am and stepped off the train back home at around midnight...we did this for four days. We're worn out.

Two Knights at War

Here is an amazing story I found myself in this week. After 16 hours out in the heat at the festival, I was standing in line at the train station waiting to buy tickets for my team. One of the Indian guys had already taken them to the platform and I was alone. A young guy behind me recognized that I was from the festival and asked if I was only here to work with Joyce Meyers and Hillsong or if I was living in Mumbai. I was tired, hot, worn out, and didnt feel like talking. I answered him and looked at the 50+ people in line up ahead. I knew this would take a while. For the next 15 minutes his questions didnt stop. Question after question. I didnt get mad, but I was glad to walk away after I got the tickets. I found the team and the train squeeled up into the station. Here in Mumbai, the trains only stop for 10 seconds at each stop. During this time about 20 people move out each door, and 20 more people rush in. The door is about 4 feet wide....it is a mess! People push and shove and crawl their way into the train. Inside you have no room at all, you are PACKED in.

I was with two Indian guys who were missionaries here. The girls went to the girl's part of the train. After the people piled out I squeezed my way into the train and found out that the other two men had to go to other parts of the train to get in. I was alone again, and now I was sandwiched into this train....I was okay, I would just try to stand there and not let it bother me, I was too tired to care anyways.

"Where do you get off", the man behind me said in pretty good English.
"CBD"
"Thats over an hour away, you should try to push your way further in and wait for a seat."

I knew that, I was just too tired to deal with trying to squeeze past the million people to find a place to wait for a seat.

"Where are you from?" He asked

Not again! You gotta be kidding me! I knew I was going to be stuck on a train with another talkative Indian for the next hour. Lord, what are you doing?! I turned around to see the man. He was a little shorter than me, in his late twenties, clean cut, nice dress pants and button up shirt. He carried a laptop bag. I was a little caught off guard. You dont see people like that here. Most of them dont wear shoes, and rarely have anything resembling nice clothes. I told him where I was from. After five minutes I was a little bugged that he kept talking to me. He found out I was a Christian. Here is where I found out that he was also a missionary....an Islamic missionary. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, stuck on a train in the middle of India with a Muslim missionary....alone. I had no one to help me. I just looked the other way long enough to voice a prayer.

"Lord....just help...I dont know what to do"

I felt something change in me. The train stopped at a station and10 more people piled in, slamming me up against the wall at people shoved past me....this time I smiled. For some reason my attitude had changed. Now I was happy to answer his question, and now we were talking about religion.... Two knights....I was fighting for the Kingdom of Heaven, he was fighting for the prince of this world. He was very well educated. I could tell he had had these conversations before....I had never spoken to a Muslim about the Gospel before....I was completely uneducated in this situation. Halfway through the conversation I was met with questions that I answered....that I didn't know the answer to before that moment. I realized my mouth was being filled by the Holy Spirit. As I spoke to him about the love of Christ, sin, and Jesus' role as our Savior I looked up to see 8 or more men had formed a circle around us and were listening to our conversation. The goosebumps went wild. What was happening?! How is this possible? I didnt know what I was doing! But God knew what He was doing, and He was doing it through me. As I spoke of His love I placed my hand on his chest, and looked up to see the man next to him watching, so I did the same to him. His face lit up, he introduced himself and asked what my name was. Something in the Islamic missionary was confused, he had never seen anyone act like that im sure. Our stop came up...he had two more stops to go, but he got off anyway. He wanted to meet my team. I introduced him to the team, and we really had to rush to get into the hostel before it closed. He asked for my e-mail address and gave me his number.

I wouldn't believe what had just happened. Through the Holy Spirit I had held my own again a very well educated Islamic missionary....unbelievable.

I rushed into my room to get out a book on evangelising to Muslims and found out that everything that had happened, the smiling, the touching, the answers I gave, EVERYTHING was done perfectly to reach Muslims in the best way! I could not believe it. I seriously just couldn't believe it. Well, I have to go, this place is closing.

Day 118, Mumbia, India

2008-01-17T08:34:00.000-08:00

The flight from Italy to Mumbai sandwiched me exactly in the middle of the aircraft. After we were in the air, our Italian stewardess walked down the aisle and asked me a difficult question. One I was not prepared to be asked. I prayed for divine inspiration. Proverbs 15:28 echoed in my ears, “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer”….

With slight hesitation I replied back, “I’ll take the fish”. Im not sure what kind of airlines that was, but they had two choices: fish or vegetarian. I couldn’t figure out which was more dangerous. Airline fish or airline vegetarian. Neither sounded very safe. I closed my eyes as I ate.

“Ding”

The seatbelt light clicked on and our captain’s voice crackled through the intercom, “We are beginning our descent into Mumbai, India. The local time is 11:24pm and the temperature is 1 million degrees Celsius. Please fasten your seatbelts and thank you for riding Horrible-Meals Airlines.” We parked our airplane pretty close to the airport, it just made sense. I grabbed my guitar and backpack and walked down the stairs. My skin pretty much melted off my body. Coming from Budapest, where there was one foot of snow on the runway, to India, where my sneakers melted to the pavement, was a big change. My hoodie and jeans became my least favorite clothes the second I left the plane. After we picked up our luggage we got a ride to our hostel. We are staying at the YMCA. No kidding…..seriously, we are staying at the YMCA. The real YMCA, not the gym everyone thinks of in the States. This one has a huge pool with no water, a basketball court, and some kind of open room for teaching karate or something. Then it has our “rooms”. Our room, I kid you not, is padlocked. There is no doorknob, just a padlock. We lucked out though…..tada! There is a ceiling fan in our room! So with the wind factored in, it stays pretty much under 999,980 degrees Celcius. Not too shabby.

I feel like I’m in some kind of Indiana Jones movie. We were informed about the monkeys in the streets and the cows. I will try to catch one of these monkeys at some point. Who knows what the girls will do when they wake and and try to take a shower and find a monkey tied up in their bathroom.

Me and Ruseball share a room again, because we are the only guys. This time we get to share a bed also…..yeah… Now, the bathroom. Let me tell you about our bathroom. There is a toilet….oooo…lemme tell you about the toilets in India and how you use them…This is wonderful. Okay, so you take off your clothes and squat over the squatty-potty, which is basically just a hole in the ground. After you do your business you reach for the toilet paper…..only to remember that they don’t use toilet paper in India. Surprise, welcome to India. You look to your right and notice a little thing sticking out of the wall with a knob on it, and under it is positioned a little bucket. You fill the bucket with water, and with the bucket in your right hand, you do this little awkward positioning dance and then trickle the water down your back and….”splash” it back up with your left hand…..very messy, pretty uncomfortable…basically you end up wiping with your left hand soaked with water. After twenty minutes of washing your hands and cursing the toilet and the little bucket that somehow managed to get your pants soaked by the little “waterfall” it made coming off your backside, you leave the bathroom. By this time you have to go back into the bathroom because your food has had enough time to digest and is ready to come back out.

Everything here has a price-tag on it. This is a nice change from Egypt where you have absolutely how much something should cost. The currency here is Rupees….Am I the only one who thinks of tiny red gems when they hear the word “Rupees”?

I feel like I get trapped in the old Nintendo game “Zelda”. You remember that game, the little guy with the green cap and sword who collected little red gems called rupees so he could buy more arrows or bombs. Every time I buy something I feel like I should pull out a little leather bag filled with these precious red gems…

I am writing on my laptop and will transfer all this to a card and take it to an internet café when I find one. Right now it is 3am and I’m jet-lagging real bad. Im supposed to get up in a few hours and I’m not even tired. I lay here on this bed, Ruseball fast asleep next to me. A ceiling fan oscillates above me, its hum drowns out the dripping sink in the bathroom. The warm air brushes down on me. A thin, rough, sack-like sheet is draped over my body….I cannot sleep!

I woke and skipped breakfast. Who is hungry at that time anyway? One of the girls said I missed an amazing Indian breakfast, they apparently really enjoyed it. I asked Anna what they had, she said, “Ohh, it was so good! It was this baked bread thing……”. I love these girls, Im so happy they are so descriptive. It sounds like toast to me. Whatever it was, it had a bread like appearance…and was baked….but wasn’t toast….hmmmm

We seem to have a neat little creature living in our room. I have tried to speak to him but he licks his eyeball and scurries away to another part of the room. I have seen him before but couldn't figure out where. Then it hit me! He is famous! He is the little gecko of the Gieco auto insurance commercials. He helps out with the bugs. I see a long term friendship blossoming here.

After breakfast we traveled to a lady’s house and had an “Introduction” to ministry in India. It is so interesting getting used to this culture….apparently everything offends them. You cant cross your legs, it is disrespectful. You must take your shoes off when entering a house (not that bad), you must eat anything a “host” gives you….no matter what it is, or you offend them. Guys hold hands…….I’m not going to say too much about this…other than…yeah, the Indian guys here walk down the street holding hands, fingers laced, full blown holding hands….with another guy…two guys…okay, Im done.

After our introduction we took an hour long train ride to another part of Mumbai where we visited a Mother Teresa Orphanage. As we entered we were greeted by many disabled kids. Through the past few months God has really been conditioning my heart to be thankful, genuinely thankful for things I see in life. I can tell you that I am so thankful for the work Mother Teresa has done in India. These women actually care for and love these kids. We made our way through the cribs filled with half-naked disabled children. One little girl came and clung to my side. I didn’t really know what to do other than love on her. After some time with the children we were taken to a room of adult women. All of these women are HIV/AIDS positive. We sat with them and prayed and sang songs. We live in a comfortable and completely different world, guys. You don’t even know what is out here, I cant even begin to describe it. We live so comfortably in our cozy homes and only see what’s around us and there is a whole ‘nother world out here that we only see on the commercials that bug us with the “For 33 cents a day you can save a child’s live and give them an education” speeches. Seeing that child on TV and holding her in your arms are completely different things. Its so easy to flip the channel….looking at the child in your arms, you want to give her the world she’s never imagined…the world you call “home”.

Im getting tired now, Im trying to beat this jet lag, so im gonna kick off to sleep. I’ll write another letter soon, but it will probably get posted the same time as this one. Hehe. Anyways, I love you guys and think of you often.

I am excited about India guys. I am learning so much. Today we are heading to a hospice for those who are HIV/AIDS positive. Our team is working on changing our programs to fit the schedules in India. Doing outreach in Egypt is completely different to India. We have to come up with a whole new program to fit this culture. We spent most of the morning working on new songs and ideas for the ministry here. Tomorrow we are going to be starting an amazing thing here. We are so stoked about it! We will join up with Joyce Meyers, Delirious, and Hillsong to do a four day outreach here! For four days we will work side-by-side with them to reach the Indians! What an opportunity!

Her family needed food and Prema’s father had few options. She was the eldest daughter, beautiful, and at eleven years old, more useful to the family away in the city of Mumbai. One less mouth to feed. One less body to clothe. Prema’s mother, with tears in her eyes, promised they would see her again. Promised they would buy her back wih the money Prema made every month – money her new guardian would send to the family. A promise made to Prema two and a half years ago.

In the city, Pema is not chained to a desk or forced to hunch over menial work for hours each day like thousands of other children throughout the developing world. Prema dances at a pole, bats her eyelashes at adults who have come from all over the world to watch her. She spreads her legs and moves her body to music, the way the other girls showed her. Girls kidnapped from their homes when they were younger or sold by their parents to the brothel.

As Prema waits to return to her family, other promised are kept. Her guardian makes good on the promise he made to her parents that she would be well looked after. Men, some older than her father, foreigners with unusual accents, take great delight in watching her dance on the stage. Then they pay to suffocate her under their heavy bodies. The guardian fulfills his promise that Prema would not be denied an education. He, along with his clients, tutor her in a whole new language with it’s own, intricate vocabulary. Along with the other girls in the brothel, Prema has learned to say once-foreign words: HIV, unwanted pregnancy, rape.

Prema dances at her pole, learning a new language. Day after day she tries to remember the sound of her mother’s voice, and waits to see if her parents will make good on their promise.

I closed the book I was reading, not believing that the story was true. This story comes from a book called “A Voice for the Voiceless”, a YWAM ministry. During our orientation we were taught about the child sex-slave industry here in Mumbai. Its not something that the world draws attention to, but it is a big problem here. There are so many poor families, so many who are hungry, so many who have little options. Selling their child into the sex industry is one that many families look into. Please pray that God will rise up and defend the little ones. Psalms 12:5 says, “Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, God will now arise”. Pray that God would raise up lawyers, moviemakers, and government rulers who will bring and end to this savage exploitation. Over 10 million children worldwide are engaged in some facet of the sex industry.

Day 113, Budapest, Hungary

2008-01-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

I dont know how much I'll write, but I wanted to update everyone. Hopefully I will have time to go back and write about what all has happened this past week at some point. Right now I will just be brief. After Alexandria, we left for the compound in the desert. There were some pretty heavy struggles we unearthed in the compound, but God really pulled us through. We spend all most a week in the compound and then took a plane back here to Budapest. We arrived yesterday afternoon and will leave in a few hours now for India. It is an eight hour flight, which will carry me a total of thirteen hours ahead of those of you at home in Mt. Juliet. When you sleep, I will be wide awake. I have been told that India will be even more difficult than Egypt, and there will be a lot required from the team. I will be expected to buy new clothes because the clothes we have been wearing are not acceptable for ministry there. Special clothes are needed and I am praying that God will give me the money to purchase these clothes. As it stands, I am kinda broke, and actually, still owe money to cover my part of the fees for plane tickets and housing. I have been told that there wont be much internet access where we are staying, but there will be many internet cafes, so hopefully I will be able to keep you guys posted. I love you all and will be thinking about you!

Day 106, Alexandria, Egypt

2008-01-05T02:50:00.001-08:00

Time for another update for everyone back home!

I'm sitting here on the second floor of a Starbucks I found in a hotel along the beach of the Mediterranean Sea in Alexandria, Egypt. I'm enjoying something American for a change, a luxury we haven't tasted in far too long. This past week has been difficult, but relaxing in a way.

On January 1st we traveled from the compound in the desert to an apartment on the coast of the sea. I was very surprised to find that our team, which is used to concrete rooms without heating or A/C and poor lighting with "lovely" bathrooms, would be staying in an apartment that looks out over the sea. The Lord really blessed us. Alexandria has been a breath of fresh air for us. After weeks in Cairo and Luxor, our team had been worn out by the constant stares and spiritual heaviness the cities provided so abundantly for us. Thank you Cairo and Luxor. Alexandria is a tourist city and the locals are used to seeing foreigners. In Cairo and Luxor we couldn't go ten feet without two or three men or kids trying to get money from us. The constant whistles and the never ending conversation of:

"Welcome to Egypt, would you like a carriage ride?"
"No thank you, we aren't going far"
"Only 5 pounds"
"No thank you"
"Only 5 pound, very cheep"
"No thank you"
"Please sir, very nice, very nice, good price, anywhere you like to go"
"No thank you, I will walk"
"Whats yer name?"
"Nick"
"Welcome to Egypt, come now, get in, only 5 Egyptian pounds, anywhere you like"
"No thank you, I am not going far"
"Yes yes, where are you from?"
"America"
"Welcome to Egypt, lucky boy, four wives, ooo lucky boy" (Pointing to the girls from the team)
"Yes, very lucky"
"Yes, only 5 pounds"
(here is where I started ignoring them....walked ten feet, and started the same exact conversation with another Egyptian man)

We haven't found any of this in Alexandria, no one begging to show us around, give us carriage rides or tell me how lucky I am to have 4-7 wives. After getting settled into the apartment we began to prepare for any kind of ministry we could find. There has been a local girl who has been helping us get into different places to do outreach. One thing that has been constant in our team is our own prayer times as a team. So many times this week I have had my own time in the morning where I read and pray and then we meet as a group and the verses I read and things I prayed about on my own somehow weaved themselves into what the group read in a devotion or we pray about the same thing. Its really amazing to see how God is speaking to each of us individually and giving us something to bring to the group.

We started our ministry with a trip to a girls orphanage.....

Our translator went with one of the other girls from our team to buy gifts for the orphans, and the rest of our team went straight to the orphanage. When we arrived we walked in and tried to start a program but found out that no one there spoke english.... This made things very difficult. It was an uncomfortable feeling being there. Something was stirring my spirit and I noticed it on the faces of the other team members also. There were many young girls who were playing with our hands and smiling, but I could tell they feared the older ladies that worked there..... I saw one of the women smack one of the girls on the back because she was laughing too loud.... The old ladies didn't want us there. We couldn't speak to anyone so we called our translator to find out where they were. For 30 uncomfortable minutes we tried our best to play with the girls, while one of us talked to our translator. We found out that the women at the orphanage didnt know that our team was a team of foreigners, and they didnt expect men to be there either. When our translator came with the bottles of bubbles and candy we tried to hand the girls the bubbles but the looked scared all of the sudden and wouldn't take them as they eyed the old ladies who were watching them. I stopped and said that if we were not going to be received here and weren't welcome that we needed to leave. The women told us that there were older ladies asleep upstairs and that we needed to leave because we were making too much noise and that we should come back the next day. We left, only to receive a call from the translator that evening to inform us that we were not welcome back at the orphanage.

From that orphanage we were told that we would be going to a boys orphanage. I had been asked to lead the outreaches here, to plan the program and get things going. As we rode in the van to the next orphanage I was going over what I would say and do, what dramas we would do, what message I would share, when we would give them presents and such. We pulled into the stone walls and got out. The first thing I saw was a mentally handicapped teen rocking on a special swing.....I prayed that this wouldn't be a home for mentally handicapped boys because my program and our dramas would be useless, we weren't prepared for this. God answered my prayer.....it wasn't a home for mentally handicapped boys, it was a home for old men and women....the "boys" at this "boy's orphanage" were the oldest "boys" I have ever met. They were all like 80 years old!

There goes the whole program I planned....woohoo....

Our dramas were designed for children, not old men. So we sat with them, prayed with them and shared a little bit about our lives and about God. When I went to go pray for one of the two handicapped teenage boys who were there I noticed his right hand was strapped to his wheelchair.... I tasted anger flicker in me for the first time since I left home. I quickly extinguished the anger and went to hold onto his other hand when I saw his sleeve slide back a little bit to reveal a deep rope burn on his left wrist, it was a big scar, half and inch wide and probably 1/8th inch deep. It was a scar but had fresh cuts in it also, telling me that they had been tying him down for a while. I felt my jaw clench as the anger burned violently in me. Instead of praying for healing, like we told the man in charge of watching them, I prayed against those men who were doing this to him and prayed for God to put him in the care of those who will treat with with love. Other things happened but I will try to keep these stories short.

Lemme try to be more brief. lol. We went and did a program at a church for youth yesterday, I spoke about sharing our faith and told the story of Jeremiah.

Yesterday our team talked about the prayer that Jabez prayed in 1 Chronicles 4:10, and prayed that God would bless our team. After our outreaches in the churches here we went out to grab something to eat. We were told that we were being taken to a nicer restaurant. It was indeed, what a blessing, an amazing break from the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and tuna and rice that has been making up our diet. At the end of the meal we all stood up to leave when one of the servers came up and asked us to be seated because the owner of the restaurant wanted to honor us..... No one knew or had seen the owner...we asked our guide if this is normal or has ever happened here before and she said it was very unusual... In a few minutes the servers brought several platters of fruits up to us! What a surprise! We ate them and the owner came to greet us and see how we were doing. He was very pleased to speak with us and learn our names and where we came from. After talking with him for a while we all stood up to take pictures with him and then got ready to leave when he told us to sit again for another surprise. We sat down and the servers brought up another desert of chocolate and vanilla pudding and jello with fruit in it! It was such a blessing! We had an abundance of food and desert last night. We asked for God to bless us that day, and He sure did!

One last story:
This morning me and Esther got up and made our way to Starbucks. About half a mile from the apartment I noticed a guy walking behind us. I didn't think anything about it.... Esther was on my right side and on her right was a stone wall. A few minutes later, mid-sentence, something made me stop and look up to see the man walking close to Esther, trying to squeeze between her and the wall to get past. Something made me immediately pull Esther to me to let the man pass.....He walked one step infront of us to the curb then stopped and turned around. We kept walking, I thought it was odd that he didn't continue walking, but shrugged it off. As weapproached Starbucks Esther said that her pants were ripped and pointed to a little tear, about two inches long, behind her right pocket. I said I was sorry, I never really know what to say when people say random things like that. Then she said that they JUST ripped, when the guy tried to pass her....This alarmed me, the stuck her fingers through the cut and said that she was bleeding a little. The man had cut her with a knife. We got to Starbucks and she went into the bathroom to wash up, I headed back to find the man. I knew that the other girls would come to Starbucks in a little bit and didn't want them to pass this guy. I could not find him. Esther was a little shaken up, but we knew this was an attack from the enemy to sow fear into our team. After every good outreach the enemy tries to shake us up, to scatter us and cause us to fear him. Me and Esther prayed into the situation and the Lord removed all fear from her and showed us more clearly the battlefield we are on here. The enemy will come against us but the battle is already won.

I am excited about our time here. We have more ministry here tonight and then we leave tomorrow to head back to the desert compound. Next Friday we leave Egypt and fly to Budapest for 1 day before heading to Mumbai, India. For those of you I haven't spoken to, I hope you had an amazing Christmas and Happy New Years!! I love you guys and hope to hear from you soon. Rebecca Pruett sent me an e-mail this morning with a verse I really liked and want to share with you all.

“These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” Habakkuk 2:3

Thanks Rebecca! I love hearing from you all and, as always, look forward to hearing whats going on in your lives back home!

In Him,
Nick Huber

Day 101, Desert Compound, Egypt

2007-12-31T01:35:00.000-08:00

I finally got those posted!!! YAY!! I haven't had internet access for a few weeks now, but I wrote some blog letters for you guys during that time. I posted three or four new blogs all at once, so be sure to read back a few. I will try to go back and put in some pictures of some of the things I was talking about, like the metal witchcraft charms and pictures of the mountain and such.

We are back from Luxor Egypt (ancient city of Thebes) where the Valley of the Kings is located. After a 17 hour van ride through the desert we are finally away from the spiritual heaviness that the area bombarded us with constantly. We are safely back at the desert compound now. We will stay here for New Years and possibly go do some ministry is Alexandria along the Mediterrainian sea. We just arrived last night and its our first morning time here so I dont have a whole lot to say so far that I haven't told you about in the last three blogs I just posted. I just wanted to let ya know why three of them got posted at once. Because I wasn't constantly updating my letters to you, I may have missed some things that we did, so during the next couple of days I will probably be jumping back over the last few weeks as I remember things I want to share. I love ya guys and think about you often. I hope to hear from you all soon. I have only heard from Mallory Gliko and my parents for the last 2 weeks, so update me on whats going on back home in your lives.

Day 99, Luxor, Egypt

2007-12-31T01:16:00.000-08:00

Our time here in Luxor is almost done. We have been around the city quite a bit. This week we did many prayer walks around the city. I found out that this was the religious capital of ancient Egypt and there are many ancient temples to the Egyptian gods. There is a lot of witchcraft and pagan rituals here. Many horses and carriages are adorned with witchcraft charms. The most obvious is a charm shaped like a hand. Little metal hands dangle from everything....you can feel the spiritual tension with these charms. I was told that the Muslims here mingle witchcraft and voodoo in with their Islamic beliefs. If the Muslim chants shouted over the loud speakers all over the city five times a day aren't enough to constantly remind us that we are on a battlefield here, these charms do.

I just took a break from writing this letter to go up on the roof and pray with the Egyptian team. Our team split up today. They will be going to a different city. Up on the roof we had them stand in the middle as we prayed. Esther, one of our girls, said God gave her a vision of our team joining hand around their team and praying protection over them, except we were facing outwards. When we told them what we were going to do, one of the married women on the Egyptian team looked shocked. We joined hands, facing outward, and prayed for spiritual protection over them. After our prayer the woman from the Egyptian team asked her husband to share the dream he had before they left for their outreach. He had dreamed that his team was huddled together and a group of people were surrounding them, facing outward, fighting for them, protecting them, and when we prayed for them this is what happened. It is amazing watching dreams and visions come to pass.

We hiked to the top of the highest peak in Luxor this week, it is the mountain that makes up one side of the Valley of the Kings. To get there we had to make our way through the Egyptian markets and get a ferry ride across the Nile. Then we hopped in the back of a truck and traveled out of the city to the base of the mountain in the desert. From there we climbed 3,815 stairs which brought us a little over half way. The rest was climbing up loose rocks and through crevices. I was surprised at how little some of the team complained. lol. We all made it to the top and had a time of intercession. We buried Bible verses and proclaimed God's Kingdom in Egypt.

I continued on without the group and climbed around the rim of the mountain. On the other side (side opposite the city) I found myself looking out only a few lesser mountains below, and beyond that.....nothing but desert. A few minutes passed before I realized something that I haven't heard in a very long time: Nothing at all. It was completely silent...I mean COMPLETELY. Most of the time when we say it is quiet, you can still hear the leaves of trees, or faint almost unnoticeable bugs, or far off cars. Up here there were no trees, and no wind, no bugs, no people nearby, and we were miles and miles from the nearest car. I stood there in awe...I held my breath so I wouldn't hear it and stood completely still. It was an amazing experience. It makes me think about the moments before God created the earth. There was nothing at all....all was silent......It is easy for us to enjoy and marvel at some of the amazing sounds God creates, but we never really marvel at the beauty that God creates with silence. Silence isn't just the absence of sound, its something God created and true silence is something to stand in awe about.

We also made it into the Valley of the Kings, well, a few of us did. We made our way underground into the tombs. As I looked at the carved walls with all their hieroglyphics I noticed the sarcophagus of the ancient pharaoh (I wont mention his name). The mummy had been taken out and put in a Museum in Cairo, but his sarcophagus had a small gap between the lid and the base, allowing something small to be slipped in if someone could manage to do so without the guard noticing. I traced my fingers over the hieroglyphics and stooped down and got my Bible and journal out of my bag. I smiled as I left the tomb. I left a small piece of the Kingdom in that little room.

Day 93, Luxor, Egypt

2007-12-23T01:02:00.000-08:00

Again I'm writing to you, but you still will not see this letter for some time. After a week in Cairo we took a night train to Luxor, Egypt. This was supposed to be an 11 hour train ride south. Things never really turn out like they are planned. We joined with an Egyptian team at the train station so we could do ministry in Luxor together. Our teams had to take different trains, so me and two of the girls stayed behind with the Egyptian team to take the later train. Half an hour later our train rolls up and everyone piles on. Only one of the Egyptian girls spoke English, but one of the Egyptian guys who was dropping the team off came on board real quick to speak to me. He just tapped me on the shoulder and said, "God bless you, enjoy your trip, and if someone tries to talk to you, dont. Only talk to your Egyptian friends and you'll be ok." I wasn't exactly sure what he was implying, so I just sat down and waiting for the train to start moving.

We left at about 7:30 or so. The train was very dirty and didn't smell too pleasant. I knew this would be an overnight train so I expected to catch up on some sleep. HA! That didn't work out. The train pulled out and I waited for them to turn the bright lights off. They didn't. The lights in the train stayed on all night long. The seats didnt recline far enough to sleep on, and the crying babies in surround sound made me give up trying after 2 hours of tossing and turning in my stone seat. About this time two men in their later twenties came walking down the aisle, poking the bags above their heads and questioning people. It was odd looking. They didn't look happy. I was talking to Steph about a book she was reading when the Egyptian girl sitting next to her placed her hand on the book and made a motion for us to be quiet as she stared at the two men coming. Two guys from the Egyptian team sat in the seats in front of us. As the men reached them I noticed the bruises on their foreheads....

(Here is a picture of a random Muslim with the bruise)

Muslim men carry the mark of their religion on their forehead, much like Cain. It is a brown bruise they receive from constantly smacking their heads on the ground five times a day in prayer seeking intimacy from the god of this world who does not satisfy them. They began speaking roughly with the two guys seated in front of us. They seemed to be arguing. They made one of them stand up as they patted him down. I was scared, I wont lie. We were the only non-Egyptians on the whole train, and I knew we were next. After a few minutes of arguing with the two guys, the Muslim men passed us and continued down the train. They two guys in front of us sinked back in their chairs and sighed heavily. I could tell they were very relieved. I asked the Egyptian girl what had just happened and why they were searching us. She just said not to worry that everything was okay now and that they were Islamic police. I still dont know exactly what took place that night, but I believe there was more to the story.

It wasn't too long after this that our train broke down and we stayed still for two hours waiting for another train to come drag us the rest of the way to Luxor. This made our train ride a total of 13 hours of sitting. Right before we arrived in Luxor the sun came up. I stood up to get all the bags ready in the back of the train when I noticed you could open the door on the side of the train. I pulled it open and the cool air rushed in to drag out that funk air that had settled inside the cabin during the night. I stood there a couple feet from the door eying the handrails on either side of the opening. It wasn't long before I was hanging out of the side of the train and it whizzed past the palm trees and fields of veggies. What a rush.

We arrived in Luxor and we taken to a place I cannot tell you just yet. I dragged my luggage up the stairs to find my room so I could crash for a couple of hours. I had been awake for over 26 hours and was ready to pass out. I entered my dark little room where Ruslan and Gerges (My Egyptian friend) had already been sleeping for the past 3 hours. Three beds...two on the ground...one was a top bunk......OF COURSE THEY LEFT ME THE TOP BUNK! I sacrifice myself to take the later train, it breaks down, I get no sleep, and of course they arrive before us and take the best beds. lol. Thats life, what can ya do? I just dropped my luggage and climbing into bed, not caring how much the metal bed frame squeaked. hehe. I slept in my clothes.

I woke up the next morning and they are taking showers in the bathroom. Well, not at the same time. After they are done I go in there to find everything completely soaked and dirty. Im not sure when the last time they cleaned the bathroom was, but I'm sure it was sometime in the 80's. After an interesting shower I was ready to continue the day. We had a meeting and prayed and got briefed on ministry opportunities in the area. After a day out in this crazy city we came home exhausted and ready to crash. Ruslan and Gerges again went in the bathroom to clean up.

I was sitting down somewhere when they came to me and told me that they spoke with the leader of the place we are staying, and that we have to move to another room because the bathroom is broken and the water isn't draining. I waited for them to move all of their stuff to the new room. I walk in and look at the top bunk they left me, and the REALLY small and nasty bathroom the new room provided. The first room was small....but this was almost funny small. The first room had a window that opened up so you could look at the mountain in the distance, and looked out over the city. This new room was on the back of the building and was dark and only had a window that opened up to look at another ugly building behind us. The bathroom didnt have hot water on demand, it had a tiny water heater up in the corner. I told them I would stay in the old room alone. I walk into my room, look in the bathroom at the inch of water on the ground, and then pile all the mattresses on one bed, take all the covers and do the same and use the other two beds as shelves for my luggage and computer. Oh yeah....the whole bathroom being "broken" thing.....I figured the drain was clogged from when Ruslan cut his hair. I went in there, unclogged the drain, cleaned MY bathroom and settled down into bed. Did I mention Gerges snores? Poor Ruslan. I have enjoyed having this room to myself this past week. Funny how things work out sometimes.

Day 90, Cairo, Egypt

2007-12-20T00:51:00.000-08:00

What to say. Im not sure. I am writing this now, but you will probably not read it for a while. I am staying at a place inside Cairo, Egypt. I can't talk too much about what we are doing or where we are. On Tuesday we left the compound in the desert and traveled into the city. An Egyptian guy named Gerges is staying with us to translate. As I write, I am sitting on a bed that I'm pretty sure is made with the hardest cloth in the world. No springs, just a bunch of cloth inside it. The room has gray concrete walls, florescent lights, and a joke of a bathroom. We are staying right next to a mosque, so the call to prayer rings through our room 5 times a day....such an eerie sounding chant. The ministry here is very difficult. In Mexico or Budapest or Nashville or anywhere else, you see the results....you go, do dramas, speak, talk with people, lead them to the Lord, and walk away looking at results. Not here. We cannot do dramas, preach on the streets...we have to be secret. We have to wander into churches in groups of two so the undercover police that are here dont know we are a group.

There was a Islamic feast or something this week...They sacrificed lambs in all the mosques....The streets ran with blood, literally, blood from the sacrifices pooled in the streets. I looked out the window as cars passed by with bloody hand prints all over them. As I walked the streets, blood pooled with dust to make soaked patches of road. Many skins were piled all over the place, and I still find body parts lying in the middle of the road; legs, skin, entrails... We are here as prayer missionaries. I believe this is one of the most difficult types of missions. You never get to really see anything being done. You dont get to see any change, and its very difficult to not feel like you aren't getting anything done. So often it feels like we are doing nothing, because we see in the visible but our ministry is strictly spiritual. But we will continue to soldier on in what God has put on us to do. I wish I could tell you a lot about what exactly we are doing, but this is difficult and not really "safe". Plus, I dont know when I will be able to post this. I haven't had access to the internet for a long time now. I can however, tell you about our living conditions, I enjoy doing this anyway.

The bathroom. Ok. You open the door and there is this little bucket looking thing you are supposed to step in to shower in. So you undress and step into this tic-tac sized shower. It has no shower curtain, and the shower head doesn't attach to the wall, so you hold it in your hand and try not to let the water spray your towel. It has two knobs, one for hot, one for cold, but this means nothing at all. I don't know why there are two knobs, they should just have one knob in the middle and write "Random" on it. This would be more accurate. You turn on the water, and no matter how you set it (Hot all the way up and cold off, or cold all the way up and hot off) it decides on its own what the temp will be like. It likes two settings, boiling lava hot and ice cold. It goes back and forth between these two setting about every 20 seconds.

We are supposed to be washing our clothes by hand...needless to say I have dirty clothes

2007-12-16T03:39:00.000-08:00

Where did I last leave off....I think it was landing in Cairo. Okay, so to continue the story, we touched down and got our bags and left the airport. We waited outside for the van to come pick us up. Five minutes later a very nice van pulled up...I had just counted all the girls in my group for the fifth time to make sure they were all there and started to pray silently for protection over us as we make our way to where we were staying when I hear shouting and a loud CRUNCH!! I looked up to watch as our nice van smashes into the open door of a taxi. Lots of yelling in Arabic followed. I just kinda smiled and tried to hide the giggles. I dont know why I found it funny. Just did I suppose. We loaded all our bags on TOP of the van....if I hadn't proved that I am the strongest man alive already...everyone knew it after I lifted Esther's bag over my head. I am Nick, hear me roar!

We crunched into the van and began our...uh...interesting trip to the desert compound. The drivers in Egypt honk their horns when you go too slow, when you go too fast, when you are driving normally, when they have to pee, when they want to say hi, when they leave a parking lot, when they arrive somewhere, and sometimes for no reason at all. It was about a three hour drive to the compound. Im not allowed to say exactly where we are staying...I'll tell ya when I get home though.

We got to our rooms, which were free of Rusball clothes, and settled into our beds. SOOO nice! I woke the next morning to someone tapping on our door. It was pitch black in the room because they have really dark think curtains. I felt my way blindly to the door, hoping to get some light into the room so I could see. I turn the handle and opened the door, only to be completely blinded by the incredible light. I closed the door trying to figure out what the heck was going on. I cant see in the dark, and now I cant see in the light...hello....can we not find a middle ground here? After a few minutes my eyes regained their sight and I slowly let the light into the room.

Lesson #1: Open door slowly to avoid blindness

I stepped outside and the girls were already freaking out because it was so beautiful. They took me to the side of the house. We live on the third floor so we get a birds-eye view of the desert surrounding the compound walls. And there I saw the desert rolling out into the distance. A shepherd was guiding his flock of sheep and setting little random fires all over the place. Don't know why, but I hope to find out.

Lesson #2: shepherds can be pyros too

We had a short meeting to figure out what we would be doing that day. The base leader was still working on our arrangements in the city and had given us our schedule.

Agenda for December 15: Relax

I didnt argue. I'll follow that guideline any day. lol. So we had a full day of relaxing. I had about 3 hours of time alone (which is a luxury you dont get alot when living in a community) and I laid out in the warm sun reading and writing. After lunch I played volleyball and soccer with the Egyptian guys for about 5 hours. I returned to my room to shower. I dont think I have ever welcomed a cold shower so much. We have hot water, but that seemed to just make it worse. Cold showers are a must from now on. We had an amazing dinner, then had an amazing worship and prayer time with them. They sang and prayed in Arabic, and we did the same in English.

There is a dog that lives with us here in the compound. A pretty nice German Shepherd. Apparently this dog only speaks Arabic because he didn't respond when I asked him to shut the door on his way out of my room. Im not exactly sure how a dog that sits out in the sun all day in the desert can manage to not smell like complete butt, but he pull it off somehow.

Lesson #3: Dont trust Egyptian dogs to save your life, they don't understand English.

One thing I have learned about the Egyptians, is that they need a lot of encouragement. They live in a land where Muslims dominate and it is difficult to be a Christian. They kept asking us to share testimonies to encourage them in their faith. I hope to be able to strengthen their faith as we are here among them. They are a very friendly people who always smile. I already have a passion for them.

I am not sure exactly how the Egyptians do it, but their meals are spread out pretty far throughout the day. Im used to eating at 1pm for lunch, and dinner at 6pm. Here lunch is supposed to be at 1pm, but its 2:15 as I write this and still no sign of lunch. Dinner isn't until about 8pm or later. They set a time for things, but never follow that time-line. Its like church, watches mean nothing.

Lesson #4: If an Egyptian tells you a meeting will start at 2:00pm, expect them at 5:00pm.

Well, there is the lunch bell, Im off for now. Love ya guys.

Day 85, Touchdown in Egypt

2007-12-15T00:23:00.000-08:00

Tada! Last night we touched down in Cairo, Egypt. It was an interesting flight over here. We left at about 3:30pm and spent like three hours in the air. Going from Budapest, Hungary to Cairo, Egypt can be compared to jumping from Ruslan's Closet to the girl's room upstairs. Everyone in Budapest has this heavy spirit of oppression on them. They never smile, even when you smile at them, and don't really want to talk. Everything is hard: people, buildings, hard water, transportation, choking air, and cold weather. There is a lot of room for God to soften Budapest, and a lot of work to be done. I'll tell you about the difference in Egypt in a second.

I noticed the difference in Egyptians back in Budapest. We flew Egyptair. The rules were you couldn't bring more than 20kg of luggage. Me and Ruseball (we got tongue-tied one time while trying to say Ruslan's fooseball table, and came up with the name "Ruseball". It stuck, poor guy) didn't have any trouble staying under that limit.....the 7 girls traveling with us on the other hand.....completely different story. Some weighed over 26kg, which is about 13 pounds of clothes over the limit. You know how many clothes it takes to get 13 pounds? I dont know if I even own that many clothes. (Note to self: buy more clothes). They are supposed to charge you 2,600ft, which is about $12 for every kg over the limit you are. They just smiled and didn't charge us anything. Completely surprised me.

We sat there in the terminal and watched as a snowstorm hit Budapest. It was like a blizzard, more snow than I have ever seen fall. Budapest got blanketed while we were leaving. Perfect timing, we got to watch the snow through the glass walls, but never had to walk through it. YAY! We were welcomed onto the plane by about 37 different people, whose only job was to say, "Welcome" apparently.

We were seated in the same area, and I was seated by myself. WOOHOO. I had a window seat with two empty seats on my left. Praise the Lord. We had to wait a little bit while the airline people took this big machine and sprayed all the ice off the wings. A few of the girls didn't particularly like my comments about them spraying gasoline on the outside of the plane to melt the ice. I thought it was funny though. After about five minutes of me explaining to them about how we were probably going to die in the plane because of the blizzard, we climbed towards the clouds and I watched the last of Budapest sink away while I listened to Benny and the Jets on my iPod. I couldn't help but notice how dark, and almost dead Budapest looked. It was dusk, almost dark, and there were very few lights on outside the city, tons and tons of cube communist buildings with no lights on. The clouds eventually blanketed my view of the city and I watched the sun set into the bed of clouds. I got the better side of the plane. It wasn't long before the girls realized they could move into the empty seats next to me, and in about 5 min Steph was sprawled out on the two seats next to me. I love the many roles I play in this team, especially "Nick the Airplane Pillow".

A few hours later we begin our descent into Cairo. Pitch black outside with no clouds. The city was breathtaking. The moon had taken the place of the sun, and I saw something I had never seen before. I kept catching a glimpse of something really bright and rather large in the city below me every once in a while. I couldn't figure out what it was. It just looked like big flashes of bright light, brighter than any of the street lights or cars. It was keeping up with the plane also. I finally realized what it was as it passed over the Nile. The reflection of the moon....I had seen it on lakes and such, but never from that far up. It was so large in the reflection!! It was bigger than a whole city block. The little flashes I kept seeing were reflections of the moon as it passed over flat buildings and water. Breathtaking.

After we touched down and got off the plane we all boarded this little shuttle on the runway, which took us, literally, about 30 yards to the building. lol. Then again, more and more Egyptians just standing there with smiles on their faces, welcoming us to Egypt. They people here seem pretty friendly. Completely different than Budapest.

Hmm...ya know...its nice and warm here and sunny and everyone is outside and im not, so Im gonna go do some things and write more when everyone is in bed tonight.

Day 83, Budapest

2007-12-12T23:48:00.000-08:00

In 24 hours we make our way to the airport to step onto the plane that takes us to Egypt. It is almost 9am here. I just sat down with a bowl of yogurt and a book I've been reading. Half of our team has already left for Romania, we will rejoin in three months. Its a little weird not having everyone here. Community living is so different, but almost addictive. When a bunch of people left our little community here in this house, I felt so.....naked. Its weird not constantly hearing footsteps. With 25 people living in a house.....you ALWAYS hear footsteps. Its like a loud clock at home or something, its constantly ticking.."Tick....tock...tick....tock...tick...tock..."..you get used to it and eventually dont even notice it anymore. Same thing with the footsteps. Every room here has hardwood floors that don't dampen any sound at all, and the footfall noise became like the clock. Now the clock has stopped "ticking" and it almost feels as if time has stopping too. Weird. Things have slowed down here in Budapest with half our team gone.

Ruslan's Closet....

Oh how I do not miss my room. Let me start at the beginning. For the past three months I have slept in the lowest room of the house with three other guys. If you could call it a room. It is the only room without hardwood floors, besides the bathrooms. You know when you walk into a house and take off your shoes and hang up your coat and then choose which room to go in? Thats the room we live in....not the room you chose...but the actual room you step into and take your shoes off and hang your coat up. Apparently there werent enough rooms to house everyone in the house, so they stuck the guys in the old foyer. The door to our room is the door to outside. You walk into this room, about 5 feet deep and 5 feet wide, and there we are, four guys huddled in the corner, trying to sleep. We actually never called it our room. One day I was commenting on the...err...cleanliness of our little room, talking about how someone's clothes were all over the room, and we stumbled upon a more accurate description of our little abode. "Ruslan's Closet". Ruslan is my buddy from Ukraine. At some point during his first week here.....no one was around to witness this, so the accuracy of the story isnt completely verified....but he took all of his clothes and packed them into a bag....with dynamite....and then set the clothes bomb off, completely coating the inside of our room with Ruslan clothes. Thus, we call this room Ruslan's Closet.

Inside Ruslan's Closet, the temperature stays about 5 degree warmer than outside....unless it is warmer outside, then it is 5 degrees cooler. We sleep fully clothed. Luckily, I can fall asleep in 5 minutes, so I just get all pumped up, rush in there and crawl under some of Ruslan's clothes and fall asleep to the chattering of teeth. I never actually warm up before I fall asleep, just kinda wait until the sleep hits me so I go numb to the cold. Im not sure exactly how it happens, something about the rotation of the earth and gravity and the way the house was built, but somehow or another, all the dust and crumbs and dirt from this three-story house manage to collect on the floor in Ruslan's Closet. We sweep the floor, and then wake up the next morning, brush all the dew, bugs and Ruslan clothes off our sleeping bags, and then proceed to step onto the cave-like ice floor covered with crumbs. Yummy. This room also only has one window, but there are boxes loaded up on the other side of that window, completely blocking out the light. So this only adds to the cave-like appearance.

Three of us play the guitar, and Jarrod brought three guitars with him, which brings a total of 5 guitars into Ruslan's Closet. Ben, the drummer, doesn't own a guitar, but seems to collect a lot of them on his bed. The reason for this is when you are playing a guitar, you are sitting on your bed, and when you are done playing guitar you are still sitting on your bed but dont want to continue holding the guitar, so you look for a place to set it....two choices...well, three:

1) Pull your guitar case out, open it up, place your guitar in it, and place the guitar case back under the bunk bed. NO: too much work

2) Lay your nice guitar on the cave floor covered with crumbs and wait for someone to step on it. NO: too risky

3) Lay your guitar on the foam mattress that is in-front of you where no one will step on it, and you dont have to get up to put it there. YES: This sounds like some weird Goldilocks and the Three bears story.

Ben walks in the room and almost always has a guitar on his bed. And hair. I forgot to explain that one. Jarrod sleeps in the bunk above Ben. Jarrod has long hair. Every morning, Ben wakes up to find long hair in his bed in addition to the crumbs and frost. We don't notice his hissyfit because Ben gets up about 4 hours before we do, this is because me and Jarrod stay up until about 1 in the morning and Ben goes to bed at around 6pm every night. Canadians....

Now I live in paradise. When the other team left, so did their spots upstairs in the real bedrooms. Me and Ruslan are the only guys left, and we got to move up into one of the girls old rooms. I had forgotten what it was like to go to sleep without a shirt on. It is so warm, and so cozy. The sunlight pours into the room in the morning, I wake up and stand on a clean, warm, hardwood floor and stretch my arms out, and actually smell breakfast cooking for the first time in three months. I felt like having a good cry the first morning I had this experience. I felt like a human again. Every morning in Ruslan's Closet I woke up and felt like some cave animal (not a bear, bears stay warm). The girls didn't completely remove everything that is theirs from the room. I sleep in the bed that used to be Esther's, and she left a bunch of notes taped to the slanted ceiling above my bed that read, "Good night Princess" and "Good morning! You look beautiful this morning" I pretend they are for me, I feel so pretty in the morning now. I am actually eating breakfast every morning also. When we lived in Ruslan's Closet, to eat breakfast you had to get completely dressed, shoes and everything, and walk outside in the cold and up the concrete stairs to the third floor. Now I just open my door and walk into the warm kitchen. What a blessing. We leave tomorrow, so I will have had a total of three nights in a real bedroom before I find out what desert room I will be sleeping in in Egypt. They will probably make me and Ruslan sleep outside, or with the camels. Oh joy.

Good news though. I just got word that some more support came in this week. Last week a buddy of mine (I dont know if he would like me to post his name) gave me $700 towards my trip, and a few other people gave a couple hundred dollars and my aunt and uncle sent $100, and this week someone sent in $500 and a few other saints sent some also. This brings the total up to $1,730 towards the $4,400 we need for our trip. I am being sent out anyways, even though this isnt enough to cover the cost of my tickets into these countries. Im still praying for more support. Thank you guys, I couldn't bring the good news into the countries if it wasn't for your support. I'm not sure what the internet will be like in Egypt, but I hope to post about what we are seeing and what God is doing through our ministry there. I will talk to you soon, God willing. Until then I will enjoy my final night in this amazing room, and as always will be praying for my little church in Mount Juliet, Tennessee. I love you guys.

Day 77, Budapest

2007-12-07T08:26:00.000-08:00

Only two more days and our team splits into two. Its hard to describe the atmosphere here. A little tense...but calm at the same time. Worried, but confident. Its such a weird brew of emotions and feeling. Friends we have lived with for three months are about to leave on their outreach, and we wont see them for three months. I could write about the lectures we had this week, but I think I will use my time to share some other things.

Every Tuesday night after dinner, me and four of the girls take the 173 bus into the city and catch the metro to Daek Ter where the coffee house is located. We duck into the cellar where the cafe is located and begin brewing coffee and setting out the tea bags. After all the tables are fitted with baskets of cookies and treats and the lights are dimmed, we circle (coffee in hand) and pray. In a few minutes college student will trickle into the dimly lit cafe, place a name tag on, grab a coffee, and sit down. We spread out and sit among them, never more than 4 or 5 people at a table. These are Hungarian students who come to practice their English. We usually play a little ice-breaker game and then begin with the questions. Hungarians love deep questions, and we have a plethora of them. Since the beginning of the English club we have formed friendships with these people. They are alway filled with deep responses, and very receptive to new ideas. I find such a contrast to some of the students I know in the states who dont like to think....or think they have it all figured out and dont need to talk. I love these conversations. I decided to staff this class just to get to know some of the people in Hungary better, but these deep questions have afforded me with many opportunities to really talk to these students about their life, the way they think, and about the life I live in Christ. They have been very interested who Christ is, and what it means to have a relationship with Him. On more than one occasion I have found myself speaking for 45 min straight about having a relationship with Christ and how we were designed for this. These students pay to come and speak, to learn English, and I end up speaking and they listen for most of the class, but they eat it up....they love it. They know we are missionaries, and love to ask questions about why we are doing what we do...why we are there to speak to them. It is such a reward to watch them sit there for 45 minutes after class is over, continually asking us questions. This Tuesday was our last English club that we will be able to staff, and because of the Hungarian holidays, we decided to make the theme "Christmas", and not ask very deep questions but keep it light and fun. We opened up with teaching them some Christmas carols, and then read "Twas the Night Before Christmas". I sat down at my little table and looked at the set of questions that were prepared:

1. Have the Hungarians explain Mikulas Day and other Hungarian traditions for Christmas...tree, food, music, etc.

2. Have the American/British explain the legend of Santa Claus and other American traditions for Christmas

3. Are you someone who really "gets into" Christmas or are you not very interested and don't engage in the season's activities? Why or why not?

4. Do you have any childhood memories of Christmas or Hanuka that would be fun to share? Did your family do any special traditions for the holidays?

5. What traditions or values would you like to pass on to your own family one day?

The Hungarians have two holidays in December. Mikulas Day (Dec 6) and Christmas. The night before Mikulas Day the children sit their shoes on the windowsills and go to sleep, waiting for Saint Mikulas to come and put candy in them. If they have been good, they get lots of chocolate. If they have been bad, they get a stick in their shoes. haha. I suppose its as silly as putting coal in a stocking. Then they celebrate Christmas the same day we do. The Hungarians, however, do not link Santa Claus (Saint Mikulas) with Christmas at all. Angels bring their gifts, not Santa.

We were surprised this class. Before it was over, one of the students stood up and said that they had a surprise for us and needed a minute to get prepared. A little caught off-guard we stopped our discussion and waited for them to return. I held back tears as they returned with gifts in their hands. They said that since they would not see us on Saint Mikulas Day or Christmas, Saint Mikulas had contacted them and asked them to help him out a little bit with our gifts since we would be traveling around so much this month and would be hard to track down. One by one they handed us a beautiful handmade card, signed by them all, a special gingerbread star in a lace bag (A Hungarian custom), and a Mikulas bag filled with candy. They kissed our cheeks as they handed us our presents....I tried hard to remember a time where I felt as blessed as I did at that moment. My card read:

Nyk,

We are glad that we know you, and we hope you enjoyed English Club
as much as we did. We are sorry that you are going away, but we know
others will welcome you with the same joy! We would like to remind you
of the good atmosphere and pleasant conversations by our hand-made
gingerbread and card! You may know that Santa Claus, who we call Mikulas,
comes on the 6th of December. He asked us to help him by filling Mikulas
Bags for you and giving it to you two days earlier so that he would have more
time to go around the world in one night! May the wind take you to a
wonderful place where there is no harm or fight, just peace, joy, and delight!

We wish you all the best!
English Club 2007 Budapest.

I found it hard to continue with the conversation after that blessing. I asked the woman who has lead the club for the past 11 years if anything like this had ever happened before and she said "no". She was just as surprised as we were. Had we really impacted the lives of these students that much? After talking well past the end of class, we cleaned up everything, turned off most of the lights and got our coats on......but they were still there....they didnt want to leave. They just hung out while we wrapped up the class. For a few minutes we stood there by the door in our coats, gloves, hats, and scarves....just smiling and looking at each other. We walked outside and locked up the cafe. After kissing both our cheeks, another Hungarian custom, we said goodbye and went our ways. Needless to say, I didn't say much on the way home. I pray God will continue to place people in their lives who will reflect His love and friendship to them in the way we were allowed to.

Well, I'll leave you for now. I have some things to do on my side of the pond. I will write soon about some of the other events that have happened as we prepare to leave for Egypt. I want you all to know what we are setting off to do. You are here with me.

Day 65, Budapest

2007-11-25T11:40:00.000-08:00

As the clock counts down and the days are peeled from the calendar, I look back at my time here, and the time I have left, and feel unprepared for the outreach we are about to set out on. The more I learn and see, the more I realize how much I dont really know, and how much I really haven't seen. This week we were taught by a man named Ronnie Stevens, the pastor of a local church here in Budapest. The importance of the Word was shone in a new light to me.

We cannot appreciate the cross until we understand our need for the cross. We have grown up in a world of limited attention, we cannot be effective missionaries (Christians) unless we soak ourselves in the Word. In the physical world...the world around us, we have directions in 2D (basically). We can go 360 degrees, left, right, straight, back,....and yet we get even confused with this and lose ourselves (physically). How many of us have gotten lost before? All of us. Especially Ryan Shelton. Hehe, sorry bud, couldn't resist. In the spiritual realm of things, it is 3D. Its like a sphere, and our directions are infinite. How can we know which direction to go? The Word...its a map. We talked about interpreting the Bible, how to really see what God is saying. We looked at both ends of the spectrum. People who interpret the scripture too loosely, and then the legalists. Legalists are people who make up rules in the Bible, people who get more pleasure out of talking about what they have given up for God more than what God has given up for them.

We looked at the way that the god of this world twists scripture, adds and takes away from it, and tries to get us to question the character of God. In Genesis 3, the serpent tries to sow doubt into Eve. He says, "Did God really say, 'you cannot eat from ANY tree in the garden?" God didnt say ANY tree, he said a specific tree. The serpent tries to make God look unreasonable, Eve also adds by saying "and not touch it". God didnt say not to touch it.
The serpent inflicts doubt, and tries to inflict unreasonableness into the character of God. In Genesis 3:4, the serpent makes it look like God is insecure, and that God doesnt want them to be like Him. Not only is that a lie, but its the opposite of the truth!! Another thing to look at, is Adam and Eve didnt eat the fruit because they were hungry. Forbidding that fruit didnt deny a need or even a desired want....they ate the fruit because they believed a lie about God. How many times do we swallow the fruit because we believe a lie about God?

What is fruit anyway? This fleshy thing thats comes from a green thing usually, and more than often tastes good, except tomatoes. But really, what is it? How can we "bare fruit". What does that even mean? We usually cut off unexpected growths from our bodies, so it must be a spiritual thing. Fruit is excess life. In its essence....it is life that a tree cannot consume, so it produces a vessel to store that life. So if we are the tree, somehow there has to be life flowing through us to produce this "excess life". There are two ways to allow living water to pass through you. How do we do this? Like a pipe? That gets water from A to B pretty quickly, but the pipe is unaffected by the water...or if it is, its in a bad way. What about a tree? As living water passes through the tree, the tree is affected, it changes the tree, and it bares fruit and flowers. Thats how I want to be a vessel for living water....is it a choice? Is it possible to be like a pipe? Will God use us to transport living water like a pipe if we choose to not transport it like a tree? I dont know. Any insight?.....

I heard about two types of flight ratings for pilots. Visual Flight Rating (VFR) and Instrument Flight Rating (IFR). VFR tests how a pilot flies when they can visually see where they are, and where they are going, when there is no cloud cover, no moonless nights.....and IFR tests how pilots fly when they cannot see.....when they are disoriented....but use their instruments to guide them and keep them safe. We have our instrument, the Word of God, and our relationship, discernment, and Godly conscience....but how many times do we not use these instruments and trust our senses and the words of the enemy when we cannot see.....Eve trusted her senses and the words of the serpent over the instruction of God...

I wish I could share all of the things I have learned this week that have totally blown my mind about reading the Word, and recognizing the truth in it...but it would take forever, and time is something I cant spare in excess. Maybe I will take some time when I return to you, to speak to you about these things. The Bible is like a beautiful woman...you never look at an amazingly gorgeous woman and then say, "Oh, I've already looked at her." No, you want to look more, you haven't seen all you want, just like the Bible, you have to keep looking...sorry for the example. It made sense though. I wish I could sit here all day and share these things with you, I'm waiting to explode all these things that have changed my life with you guys, so you too may experience the same thing, the same change.

I love you guys, and I DID have an amazing Thanksgiving, thanks for asking, for all of you who sent me e-mails. Its great to hear from you all.

Day 60, Budapest

2007-11-20T05:19:00.000-08:00

It is already the second day into the week, but I want to give you an update on this previous week's sessions. We dealt with our authority in Christ. From the Fall of man to the resurrection of Christ, some big things changed and we really took a dive into how Satan builds strongholds in our lives.

The enemy doesn't want us to discover our original design. When we do, we become dangerous. He builds strongholds in our lives that he uses to keep us from discovering our original design, the way God created us as. We spoke of several kinds of strongholds, including generational, curses, fear, and soul-ties.

Generational strongholds are passed down from parent to child, or even from grandparent to grandchild. Alcoholism is an example of this. Children of alcoholic parents more often that not struggle with alcoholism or marry someone who does. People who were abused, struggle with being heavy-handed with their own children.

Soul ties are also strongholds. People can form soul-ties with people through sinful activity, traumatic events, sexual immorality, and occultic practices. Even people who have been abused or held captive form weird relationships with their abusers and captors. These things can draw people together in an unhealthy way. These ties need to be broken.

As we prepare for our three months of outreach, we are focusing on breaking down the strongholds in our life, and discovering who we are created to be and the authority that comes with it. Our strength and authority is increased as we break the areas that the enemy has held captive in our lives. Man....this has been an amazing journey. I have been changed, and I have seen immediate changes in the lives of my team members as we break down the doors of the places of our lives that the enemy has built strongholds, and take back what belongs to us.

As I see these things happen, my excitement about our ministry in Egypt and India increases! We are becoming more and more effective each day as we uncover new layers of our identity in Christ. We have only a few weeks left before we leave. Please continue to pray for us. We applied for our visas today, so pray that God will provide entrance into India for our team. We also need more support. Thank you guy so much for your encouragement and kind words! They do mean a lot to me, I plan to sit down soon and reply to them.

Day 51, Budapest

2007-11-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

I’m sitting here alone as I write this, trying to make sense of the last week....trying to find some sense of control over the changes so I can comprehend what went on in me......what happened?

Wednesday night I stayed up talking with some of the team members. We discussed some of the things that have happened to us in life, some of the events that changed us, and no matter if we wanted them to or not, shaped us into the person we are now. I was talking about how I have become to desensitized to the glory of God, how I used to be very spiritually sensitive. The simplest movies, certain songs, shows and plays, even watching an older man play with his child or grandchild would choke me up. I kept these things in, never let people know, but it still affected me, something stirred in me when it had any kind of spiritual truth, any kind of the way things are supposed to be. After an event that shook the reality of my life, shattered the faith I had in people and even God, I noticed that I was spiritually numb.....no longer did I notice the same things I did before.... I was.....emotionless. At first I enjoyed it. My days of pain were deadened, it no longer hurt, and I even saw it as an advantage, I hungrily devoured the Proverbs, I knew that emotions could affect wisdom and discernment, and I could finally make decisions without my emotions affecting them.....but I was spiritually dead.

We burned the candles into the night, talking until the last flame flickered, and went out. I remember the last thing I said, "And now....I dunno....I’m just so hungry for some emotion, I've noticed that even THEY are a gift, and I miss feeling that...."

Thursday morning I walked into class and set my coffee mug on the table in front of me. Opening my leather journal, I began to prepare the next page for a day of notes on the lecture. How unaware I was that my reality was about to be shattered....well...actually, it was about to be put back together....this time the way it was originally supposed to be.

I don’t remember what the whole lecture was about, but it started off talking about the difference between our flesh and spirit. This was not an unfamiliar topic, I had spoken many times about this at Bible studies throughout the past few years.

Jesus was crucified....we have heard it thousands of times. We have seen the pictures, heard it described, seen the movie.... He willingly set an example for us....it wasn't His spirit that was crucified, it was His body. He could have called down the angels and gotten away, He knew it was coming, but He willingly went. He asked God if there was another way, I'm sure He didn’t look forward to the pain....

Our problem is we don’t see who we are, we don’t know who we truly were created to be....

We can only go to the cross through our freewill... We have been acting like something we weren't created to be...the sin, the masks, the posing. We need to crucify this "old man", the "old self" so we can live free from the bondage, but we can only go to the cross through our freewill.....we can only be crucified and kill our old self, if we go to the cross....and our flesh will be kicking and screaming the whole way....it knows the pain and death....and it resists. It won’t go willingly...

I heard this and started writing what was coming to my mind... Frustrated. I was writing down all of the words I could use to describe myself, the way I have been thinking in life. And something was stirring in me...why was this hard? "Why am I doing this, Lord?" I looked at the page:
"Prideful, mean, uncaring, self gratifying, lazy, manipulative, lying, cheating, false, all about appearance, unconfident, procrastinating, forgetful, unmotivated, rebellious, lonely yet independent, hateful, harsh, judgmental, comfortable, hurt, attached, unfocused, stubborn, sarcastic, self-absorbed...."

I closed my eyes...."Why is this hurting...what is going on?"

"You need to know the man you are burying. You cannot bury what you don’t know exists....You must do this to say good-bye to your old self"

I tilted my head back, trying to deny tears. They came anyway. What was going on...I knew now. God gave me a look at who I was putting up on the cross, the man I was giving up, the old me, I was saying goodbye. I thought this would be a great time of freedom and rejoicing, but no. It was hard, I had to say goodbye to someone I was familiar with, I felt secure with the old self, I was crucifying an old friend, and saying goodbye to one I had grown close to. There is freedom, but it also came with a period of burying an old friend.

The emotions are back, I have my identity now, the man I was created as. Truly, a Christian isn’t one who gives his life to Christ, but one who gets his life from Christ.

Things are different now, what freedom, what vision. I had to be taken through the lies of my life, the identity I had believed of myself, the one I had accepted and lived with. God took me and showed me the new man, the one He had always seen, He showed me my real identity. An identity void of scars, void of lies, void of masks. What now? What will I do with this? I will show others. Too long have we lived in the dark, too long have we been living with an identity that is marred, scarred, and a broken image of whom we really are. I can't just sit back anymore.

STATUS UPDATE:

Tomorrow I will announce where I will be going on outreach to the group.... I have had to choose between two outreaches. One is setting out for Bulgaria, Armenia, and Greece. The one I chose is heading for Egypt, and then India.

In less than a month, God is sending me out to speak to the lost and encourage the found. On December 10 I leave for Egypt, fully equipped (and by fully equipped I mean completely and utterly broken in spirit and humbled knowing I can bring nothing without God), soaked in prayer and grace to spread the Gospel. I have been in training for 2 months, and will continue this preparation for the time remaining before we leave. I do need help. The plane tickets from here to Egypt, and from Egypt to India and back to Budapest have risen a lot. Each member of our team needs $4,500 to cover his or her part of the crusade. I do not have this money. I look at the time in-between now and the time I leave. Less than a month. This seems like an overwhelming obstacle for me. It is a lot of money. I ask that you all please pray about supporting me during this time. I cannot do this alone, I have taken the step into this time, I am walking this out, and we will reach these Muslims and Hindus, but I cannot do this alone. Please pray about my financing, and the whole team's. I will keep you informed about how God provides this money, so you can grow in faith and rejoice with me.

In faith,
Nick Huber

P.S. Thank you so much for your letters, e-mails, and comments. They are a constant source of encouragement, its feels good to know I am not alone in this battle.

Day 46, Budapest

2007-11-06T05:03:00.000-08:00

It is the second day into our week of lectures, and already my mind is crammed with new ideas and thoughts. Sverker, a Swedish missionary, is speaking this week. I looked at the schedule yesterday to get an idea about what our topic would be, and the words on the sheet said "The Gospel".

I prepared myself for a week of teaching on Jesus. I was mistaken. Im not sure how the rest of the week will turn out, but we haven't talked about the life of Jesus. Instead we have been talking about deep things that are totally changing the way I think!

We are talking about our identity, the masks we wear, and how we "pose" for the world. He is using many different movie clips to highlight his points. I am very impressed. I find myself sitting back in my chair, trying to comprehend the words that are piercing my heart as he brings lie after lie to the surface and allows God to shine light on them.

One of the things that is continually popping up in my mind, is that we all need more love than we deserve. We were created in His image. I find myself walking from time to time asking questions....questions i think everyone asks, something that is core to actually living a life with "life" in it. These times usually happen while im alone, when no one else is around, no one's gaze is upon me and i don't need to "perform" for anyone, like when I'm staring into a fire, or by myself on the bus, walking home at night alone...."Who am I....really.......why do I think the way I do, why do I feel the emotions i do,....why do we all put on different faces around different people? What am i looking for.....why do we do this?....why am I more aware of this when no one else is around?" We want to know more about ourselves, the spiritual part of us, the emotional part of us. We wear masks, we pose, change the way we hold ourselves, so that we can gain someone's acceptance, love, affection. But deep down, we are looking for the real us. We were created in God's likeness, after his heart, His image. We find our identity from God, it is bestowed on us, we can look at ourselves and know "I am like Him", so we look at Him to understand ourselves.

But something has happened.....we have lost our identity. We believe we came from monkies, we think we were a great cosmic accident, homosexuality, we think unborn children aren't even humans until they are born......Even if we dont believe in any of these things and have a relationship with God, we still feel uncertain of who we actually are.....I think the cry of most of our hearts is...."There.....has.....there has to be more than this......" There is, and God wants to take us there, He wants to show us more.

Another thing that we have been discussing is the Law, and how we still cant seem to shake the bondage of it all the time. The Law is a gift from God to bring the flesh to its end, to reveal the truth about our flesh to us.

Galations 3:21 NLT
"If the law could have given us new life, we could have been made right with God by obeying it"

Galations 3:19 NLT
"Well then, why was the law given? It was given to show people how guilty they are..."

1 Corinthians 15:56
"For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power"

Its not that we should become evil people sinning all the time because we are no longer under the law....no, not at all. We dont sin because of other reasons, not just because the law says not to. If the law says to not beat your wife because you will go to jail....I dont care about that law, it doesn't mean anything to me at all, why? Because we are governed by a HIGHER law, because of our relationship with Christ. I dont WANT to beat her, not because the law says not to, but because I love her. Love is the higher law here. If we were governed by the law, what kind of marriage would that be? You come home and go to hit your wife and then stop right before your hand strikes her and say, "Oh...I cant hit you because the law says I cant" That isn't marriage. You can find examples of this for every law.

Im getting ready to head out for another outreach, so I gotta run.

Day 43, Budapest

2007-11-03T04:45:00.000-07:00

We had an amazing street outreach this week. I'll tell you all the events leading up to it. One of the things God has really been showing us lately is the power of prayer. I have always understood that prayer is good, and that every once in a while something great happens from prayer, but I never really understood the importance of prayer and how it can affect things. I used to always be the first one to get bored and lose focus ten minutes into the hour long prayer times......I still do...but I "used to" too. ; )

This week we were reaffirmed of how important prayer is, and heard all kinds of different stories of how prayer changed things. Well, right before outreach we fasted lunch, and spent the time praying for the our ministry on the streets. We arrived at the metro we were going to do our songs and testimonies. We spent about 10 minutes, in pairs, walking around praying for the people, and claiming the area for the Kingdom. I decided to give it a try, I would usually say a quick prayer and then tune my guitar and get ready for worshiping. So I walked around praying, the whole time. Then we sang. It was rough, we were having trouble with the sound system, and half the worship team couldn't get set up, so we fumbled through it.....but people were watching intently. It was different. And then while they were giving testimonies and translating it into Hungarian, I would usually just sit and wait for the next set of songs. But I decided to pray again, and walked around praying for the people's hearts to be prepared and again claiming the area for the Kingdom. I was about to go back up when a man walked up to me and started talking about our songs. To make the story short, I eventually led the conversation to his belief in Christ, and he immediately changed the subject. A few minutes later I started talking about God again, and he said he had to leave and hoped I had a good time in Budapest, then walked away and stood there watching the dramas. He didn't have to leave, he just didn't want to talk about God. I was a little put off, I figured I was too forceful, but whatever, I tried. A few minutes later a guy in his mid-twenties stood about 5 feet away from me, watching the program. He inches his way closer, and kept looking at me. He had seen me talking to the other guy, and I think he noticed how I was touching the other guy's shoulders and heart (its amazing what touch does to people). I looked up at him, and smiled, and he walked over to me and said "Do you believe this F$%&ng $#!T?" I smiled, knowing that I was probably one of the only ones on the team who could talk to this guy without my head exploding because of his language, and that's why God led him to me and not someone else. I said, "Yeah, actually, I do man" He asked me a few questions, and I asked him what he believed. He didn't believe in God anymore because of some deaths in his life, he didn't understand how God could let people die so young. I told him about Christ, and how we can have personal intimate relationships with God. At first he didn't want to accept Christ into his life. I asked him again, but still, he didn't want anything to do with Him. I shared about some of the things God has done in my life, about how I changed and how I'm living a completely different life now that I have a relationship with Christ. He asked about talking to God and prayer. We talked for a while, and at the end I asked Him if he would like to know Christ like I do, and have a relationship with God. He said, "Yeah....I....I do." I just kind of stood there....in disbelief, did that actually just happen? After fumbling through that whole conversation, it actually got to the point where he asked to have a relationship with God....I couldn't believe it. We prayed and he asked Jesus into his heart, repented for living away from Him, and asked the Holy Spirit to live in him! Totally blew my mind.

We sang more and did more dances and testimonies, and then had a debriefing. One of the Hungarian pastors who was there thanked us, saying that he had been doing this every week for years and years, and had never had so many people open to receive Christ! Many people entered the Kingdom of Heaven that day!

Totally opened my eyes to the power of prayer.

This week Jim Isom talked about "Family". Intense stuff. He talked about our roles in the family, how we receive different wounds and identities from the way our family interacts. He spoke on building joy, and family blessings, visions, and used Biblical examples. One of the things that he said really stuck out to me,

"The place you learn the most about God is the place God has destined you to be"

Moses didn't know much about God before he led the Israelites out of Egypt, it was when he stepped into the position that God planned for him to be that he learned the most about God.

He talked about the church as a family a lot too. While speaking at a church in South America, he got on the topic of missionaries. He was teaching about the gifts that God has given us, and how some people have a gift for missions. He said, "Would I be mistaken if I were to say that God has called at least 1% of real, God fearing Christians to be missionaries, and that He has gifted them in that area and they don't even know it?" They church said that they believed 1% sounded too low, that more people were probably gifted in the area of evangelism and missions. He asked them how many people lived in El Salvador. They said 6 million. He asked them how many of those people were true Christians, who walked with Christ, and prayed and went to church and were serious about their relationship with God. They said a little over 30% of the people. So about 2 million. So 1% of 2 million is 20k people. Of a nation of 6 million people, 20k would be a reasonable (or low) number of people that God has gifted in missions. He asked them how many missionaries they actually had. They discussed it, and said they had about 125 missionaries that they send out to save the lost. So is it possible that the other 19,875 people just don't know that they have a gifting in that area?

He asked them if they could support that many missionaries, and they said that they actually couldn't. How many churches have this same problem? How many of us don't know the calling God has on our life, and just live life doing things with no eternal value?

This stirred something in me.... Is there something that we can do to show people the calling on their life? Help people get a vision of something? I don't know, but God is moving my heart in this direction, I just cant see clearly what He wants me to do just yet.

This is getting pretty long, so I'll hop off for now. I'll write again soon. I am praying for you guys back home.

Day 37, Budapest

2007-10-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

Another week under our belts. This week our lectures were on how to study the Bible on our own. Justin McKinney, one of the staff, taught us how to look at the different contexts of the Bible, and pointed out how easily the Bible can be misquoted. He used the Inductive Study Method, much like what Mr. Shearer taught us years ago, so I already had a head-start in the game. Thanks Rob! He showed us some of the things that people use to show that the Bible isn't consistent, and that it contradicts itself, and let us take a look at how it actually makes perfect sense and only compliments itself! It really reaffirmed the importance of not just reading, but studying the Word of God. One of the things that really sparked a flame inside me is how perfectly God has made the Bible, it flows so beautifully together in harmony. I would really like to find a book that goes through the life of Paul like a story, and shows where he was when he wrote the different letters, what was going on at the time in the world around him, etc. It is so hard to piece everything together on my own. So if anyone knows of a book like this, or even a website, please let me know.

God is slowly revealing different things to me about myself, about my heart, and is shining light into all the areas that I have kept from Him. I would like to say that this is so much fun and I enjoy it, but it feels like surgery, and no one likes the process of giving up things and having Him remove areas of decay from your life, but after He has closed the wounds and I can rest, I know that the journey was well worth the pain and effort. Please continue to keep us in prayer, sometimes the road up ahead seems so difficult and tiring, but it is so worth it. Im not coming back until He has finished His work in me and through me for this time in my life.

Thank you guys so much for your support. I dont know how I could be able to be here and continue to carry on without your continued prayers and support.

Prayer: We are still in the process of figuring out where God wants to send us on outreach. We are thinking He is going to send us to Egypt and India. So pray that God would open the doors for our ministry and clear our minds so we can hear Him, and that He would prepare the hearts of the people, till the soil, so that our seeds will fall on fertile soil. Also, Egypt and India are expensive outreaches, and we will need to raise more money, both individually, and as a group. So pray that God will open up the doors to finance our outreach. I still don't know how I will be able to raise the rest of the money needed for my tickets. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed.

I love you guys, and will post again soon. I love hearing from you, encouragement AND advice!

Day 34, Budapest

2007-10-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

Lets see if i can figure out how to write a short post.

Its closing in on the end of the week now. We've been having lectures on studying the Bible, and how to keep it in context, and where to find answers, how to apply scripture to your life, and stuff. The focus of this is to enable us to get a strong grasp of scripture so we can feed ourselves with the truth everyday, and when we see churches and other christians distorting what God really said, we can help them. Its also to help us when witnessing to people and they quote verses out of context. It is raining a lot this week, and its starting to get cold.....fun fun fun.

The outreaches in the city are going well, we are adding souls to the Kingdom continually!! Its amazing some of the spiritual warfare we see happening. The enemy really doesn't want us here. The prostitution is huge here, and girls as young as 14 are soliciting themselves on the streets. These people really need Christ in their life.

I really miss you guys back home. You really dont know how much you appreciate little things and comforts until you go so long without them. lol. Apparently Hungarians dont believe in peanut butter. ;) It is great hearing from you guys, it keeps me going. I still have two months of training before we go full-time outreach to India and Egypt. It is so hard finding time to do all the little things i want to get done here. heh. Writing this blog is one of them. I'll try to post again this weekened. I love you guys, and cant wait to see you all again!

Day 30, Budapest

2007-10-21T04:54:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to begin for this week. It has been probably the craziest week of my life.

This weeks teaching has been on prayer, and two older women from Atlanta came to speak to us. I had heard a little bit about these women before they came. I was told that they have an incredible gift of prayer and prophesy. They had prayed for each of us by name and asked that God give them a word for each of us, before they knew anything about us except our name. They began the week by a "Lecture" on soaking in God's presence. They talked for about 10 minutes on just allowing ourselves to be in God's presence, and just listening for His voice. Then they turned on some soft music and we all sat there just listening to the music and praying silently for about 2 hours...but it went so fast...i was really really surprised. I usually cant sit there and pray for 2 hours, it drives me nuts, but this one was different. Then while we were praying, one of the women came up to me and started whispering this prayer in my ear...she was praying for healing in areas that I had NEVER told anyone here about...TOTALLY blew my mind! She was so accurate! I was freaking out.

After the soaking time they went around the room and told each of us the words that God had given them. As they went around the room giving everyone their individual words, I was getting goosebumps because the words they were giving to the other people were so right on...they were telling them things that i had seen happening in them too! Then they got to me, they told me what they had heard from God, and then two verses that God had given them for me, and the wrote it on a piece of paper from me. Here is what it said:

Nick Huber,
As I prayed for you, I felt the Lord describe you as an adventurer who is willing to risk for Him. You are in the process of discovering great and priceless treasure. You will not be disappointed in your quest.

"My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God" Proverbs 2:1-5

"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" Colossians 2:2-3

When I read that, something stirred in me, but i just shrugged it off and thought nothing of it. All of these "soaking times" and "Prophesies" were a little sketchy to me. Lately my focus is to REALLY hear God, and not get swept away by emotion or lies that I've heard. I have been wanting to experience the TRUTH of God and not the "experience" of religion. The whole crying in prayer, speaking in tongues all the time, raising your hands in worship, speaking out a prophesy during lecture, listening to music and then getting filled with the Spirit and dancing these weird dances, "falling out" in the spirit when getting prayed for......all of these things were sketchy to me. I have seen too many people fake it, and i've faked it myself. I had made the decision that if these things were real, then I needed to feel God in it. I refused to pray out loud unless I felt God giving me a word or putting something on my heart to pray for. I refused to fake anything at all, or to allow myself to get caught up in the moment or in my emotions and "falling out in the spirit" or speaking in tongues when i knew it wasn't real. My cry had continually been "Lord....these people are getting so caught up in this thing....show me what is real, I cant do this stuff without questioning if its real or not...I need you to give me the understanding, show me what you see, show me what is real and what isnt real."

I was walking to the metro with one of the girls on my way home from the base. For a week now my headphones had been broken. Another guy's headphones broke the same time mine did, and he went out and bought some the next day. They cost him like $60. The electronics are SOO expensive here. Like 1 C battery costs like 4$. I had gone and looked at the headphones, and decided that I didnt have enough money to consider buying any, which meant I would spend the next 5 months with the iPod my brother gave me, and i couldn't listen to it. I had decided to just forget about it, and I was walking home a week later and then all of a sudden I felt like God told me I could get the headphones....i questioned it, "God...I cant afford this right now..." and all i felt was "I said its okay". So, weirded out, without saying a word i left the girl i was walking with and turned around and headed immediately to the nearest store, trying to figure out what had changed. I got to the store, and a girl was speaking to one of the clerks. She looked frustrated. I waited and he came and got the headphones for me after a few minutes and i walked to the counter to check-out. The girl saw me put the headphones on the counter and asked me if i was buying them. I said i was. She then asked if i could help her. I said yes, but still didn't have any clue what she needed, she just looked desperate. She then told me how she had bought some headphones, and they didnt work for her, and now she was trying to return them but they wouldnt let her because she needed to buy something else in the store to replace them, and they would only give her 80% of her money back. Somehow if I bought them in her name, and then gave her 10k Forint, it would help her out and i would still get the headphones for the same price. Well I was paying with a card and they wouldnt help us out by charging me extra and giving her cash. I told her to wait there, and left the store and walked to the nearest bank, and converted some money to the Hungarian Forint. When I returned and handed her the cash, she was so shocked and asked why i was in Budapest and how I spoke English, (because like NO ONE speaks english, we were the only ones in the store who did). I told her why I was in Budapest, and about my relationship with God....she was a little taken back at everything that I had done for her, and told me, "Today...i know that God sent you here just to help me...thank you". At that very second I understood why God had given me the permission to buy the headphones. It actually helped me too, I saved 1k Forint during that transaction also!

That was the end of the first day of lecture.

On Tuesday, Molly (the speaker) started class with....well, I'll show you what I wrote in my journal:

"
(Lecture) - Molly
Prayer
* Molly started out crying, saying the Holy Spirit is over her and she doesn't understand why. Okay, now she is bawling her eyes out. What does this mean Lord....now she is GROANING!....God, you have got to stop me from laughing. I'm about to lose it! I cant look at her. Father, show me what this means...why....Lord...what is this? What are you trying to say to us?

Romans 8:22 - Creation is groaning.
"
I wasn't sure what the heck she was doing by groaning, but it looked so stupid and so fake. I was just looking for some truth, I was tired of seeing fake things. After this, we all paired up with someone else and had to pray that God would give us a word or prophesy for the other person. I got paired up with Nic Barella, a thirty year old missionary who is on staff. He told me that God had given him a vision of me climbing a huge mountain, and I had gotten a little ways up it without any help, without any tools like rope and other climbing gear. He said that he felt like God was telling him that I had gotten a little ways on my own, but that God wanted me on top of this mountain, and that I was going to need certain tools to get to where God wanted me, and that God would begin giving me these tools.

It didn't really stir anything in me. I forgot about it later that day.

Wednesday is when things totally went crazy. God did some amazing things that turned my universe upside down. What happened was a lot of shouting. It was so weird to me, but they went around and prayed for anyone who wanted God to free their voice so they could shout and break the barrier that was preventing them from giving their whole voice to Him. They would stand in the middle of the room and get prayed for, and then all of a sudden bust out with these crazy screams and were crying and stuff. I thought the police would come because i was sure the neighbors were thinking we were sacrificing children or something. These bongo drums were playing, and it was just weird to me. We and another guy had just gotten done talking about how out of the box these women are, and how we were unsure how true a lot of this "spiritual" stuff really was. Neither of us had really spoken in tongues with any confidence that it was true. None of us were into this whole getting carried away with emotion and screaming or groaning. It was just...i dunno, it didnt seem right to me.

While everyone was taking turning getting prayed for, i just sat there asking God what in the world was going on. I had my head bowed in prayer while everyone else was yelling and praying out loud for the people and being crazy. I was searching for something solid, something real, I was looking for an answer from God. I raised my head once t pray for someone because everyone else was praying...but then I thought, "this is stupid...I dont feel led to pray for her, so im not" and I went back to ask God some more questions. "Who am I? Who do you see me as? I HAVE to know, who am I really without the masks..." I listened while everyone was praying and all I heard was "You are My Leonidas (Spartan king), you are My warrior, you are a fighter, you are MINE and you will not sway for false prophts, you will not sway for lies, you will go boldly, without fear, into battle".....

I sat there for a second....uncomfortable with what i heard....I was afraid it was just me hearing what I wanted to hear. I was afraid it wasnt true, and if i told anyone what I heard, they would just laugh and think i was cocky. As soon as i thought this God hit me with the same thing again. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and this time I saw an image with the word. It was me, in some crazy leather armor, standing on top on this cliff with this sword in my hand. But it wasnt the armor or location or sword that surprised me the most....it was the look on my face. I had ever seen anything like it. I was staring off into the distance, with this look of focus, this look as if i knew something that no one else knew, and I was so utterly confident and determined, and my gaze was focused on something. It was the complete opposite of they way i felt at the moment that it threw me offguard. I didnt feel any of those emotions. I was confused, I was questioning everything and didnt know what i believed. How could this image be true? Before I say what happened next, I'll post what I wrote in my journal leading up to this point, while everyone was praying and shouting:

"Lord, if I am to speak truth.....if that is Your calling on my life, you have to show me the truth first. You have to let me know truth Lord, and give me a boldnes to fight to declare it with confidence.

I find myself hardening myself to some things that im not sure about, and I want to believe what is true, so open my heart to be open to weird and different ways to be filled withYour Spirit.

Lord, You show me....and show me in the way You want. I refuse to fake it, Ive faked it before. This whole screaming thing....Lord, it doesnt stir my spirit. I want to be open to this...but ya know...Lord, my heart is hardened against this right now...I give you all access to this. Ive prayed that if You want this for me, then show me. They are asking people to "Give Him a shout to work with". This doesnt seem real to me Lord, So I'll go when you show me. Am I doing this wrong? Should I just fake it and go against what I'm feeling and then You will show up in that time?"

Those were my prayers before God gave me that image.

During the time God was speaking to me, my buddy, the same one who thinks the same thing I do about all this out of the box spiritual stuff had stood up and walked into the middle of the room. Without knowing what was going on I felt God just slam into me and I was no longer in control. My face immediately turned to him, and I felt this amazing confidence wash over me, and then my jaw loosened and I was no longer looking at Jarrod, I was looking INTO him, and then i started speaking in tongues.....it was the freakiest thing I have ever experienced. I was semi-conscious in the back of my mind, and i remember thinking "what in the world! I cant believe this is actually happening!"

The second God hit me and turned my face towards Jarrod, his legs started shaking, and he told me afterwards that his mouth went dry and his whole body went numb.

I'll share what I wrote afterwards, it pretty much sums up what was going through my head:

"I cant believe what just happened..... Jarrod stood in the middle of the group to receive this prayer. For everyone else, i didnt pray, I didnt feel anything, I refused to even act like I did. I just sat here silently and waited. When Jarrod went up.... I still cant believe this. I have never spoken in tongues, ever, every time I faked and used partial spanish words and thought really hard about which words I would say next so that they didnt sound like the words I just got done saying....but i started praying in tongues.....and this extreme confidence came over me, and i felt this knowing smile spread across my face, and I felt God give me an authority to speak in the language of angels! Freaked me out! Im still thinking "What the hell just happened?" But God gave me a gift so that He could use me. Man....this is crazy. Im still in disbelief! I have never had that happen before.... God was in me...my gaze (His gaze) was piercing Jarrod....and this beautiful tongue language was more than praying, it was declaring! It spoke with authority, it spoke with confidence, it spoke knowing it had power..... and I feel so amazingly strong...I have been given a new tool! My sword! God has left it with me.... it was like He came, took my hand and put a sword in it, showed me what it felt like, trained me, guided me with it, and showed me how to use it, and when it was finished....He left the sword with me! I can speak in tongues with confidence!! Thank You Lord!!

Another thing, when I was speaking in tongues... I wasn't speaking to Jarrod, I was declaring something, I was speaking to something in him, and something in him broke. I felt like I was leading him through prayer. It was when I let God work through me, that I was touched. God channeled through me, and left His mark on me!! Freaking wild, man.

(about ten minutes later i wrote this, sorry about the language)
Holy shit!! Another thing just hit me!!! Yesterday we were supposed to prophesy over each other and I got paired with Nic Barella. He told me that he saw a vision of me standing on top of a mountain, that I was climbing up, and that i needed tools to get there. That God is going to give me the tools needed to get to the top of this mountain, that i will need them. Before i spoke in tongues, I felt God reassuring me that I am his warrior, that I am special, that I am a leader. I didnt remember anything about Nic's prophesy at all, but I saw myself in this armor, sword in hand, at the top of this mountain with this confidence radiating over me! Today i received one of those tools! God IS preparing and equipping me!!"

All of this hit me so fast, i was totally not expecting any of this, and I actually didnt even really believe in most of it. One of the things i have noticed after that moment, is that I have changed. My prayer life in completely different...I cant explain it....its not emotional....but its very personal and intimate....its close. And its constant....we speak about everything.... You cant be touched by God like that, and not be affected.

Well, this post is getting REALLY long, and I have to kick off for now. I hope to tell you about the outreaches we are doing they are REALLY fruitful and God is doing some amazing things through our work here!

Day 24, Budapest

2007-10-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

Today we started a new week of lectures. Two women from Georgia spoke this morning about prayer, and it was amazing. They went around the room praying for each of us individually, and man...her prayer was RIGHT ON! Then they went and prophesied over us, and the prophesy was exactly the same thing that God had been showing me! I was totally freaking out! It was so crazy!

Another wild thing happened. A couple of days ago my head-phones broke to my Ipod. I went to check out new headphones, but here all electronics are really expensive, and I wasn't sure if God was okay with me spending money on something like that, since i dont have the money to pay for the rest of the outreach yet. I had decided that I couldn't buy them, and just decided to move on. Well, we were all leaving the base to go home after lecture, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I should go buy those headphones...i couldn't explain it, i just turned around and walked away from the group, and went the other direction towards a place I could buy the headphones. I felt like God had given me permission to get them, and I didnt think anything about it. When I walked in the store, a woman in her twenties was talking to a clerk in English....and i have seen like 1 person outside the school speak english in Hungary. I didnt know what she was talking about, but she seemed frustrated. I waited until she was done and asked the clerk to get the headphones from the case for me. When I brought them to the counter she looked at me and asked me if i was buying them. Confused, i looked at her and said yes. Then she asked me if I could buy them in her name and give her the money....or something really weird like that, it was complicated because she was trying to get a refund but they would only do it if she bought something else....i dunno, basically she was getting ripped off and she asked me to help her. I said it wasnt a problem. Then we find out that i cant give her money because I was paying in cash and they wouldnt run the bill over so I could give her cash....so i said "hold on" and ran to a back, withdrew cash, and came back. She was so surprised that I had gone so out of my way to help her. She was asking me questions about where I came from and what i was doing in Budapest. When I started to share with her about my faith, she had this look of disbelief on her face, and said, "Today, I know that God sent you here to help me, thank you". What an amazing experience, God totally blew me away man. I had gone to the store a few days ago and felt like I wasnt supposed to buy them, and then out of the blue i feel like its suddenly okay, and God puts me in a situation like that. He is just simply amazing.

I am really looking forward to this week of lectures! I love you guys, and thank you so much for your prayers! I would really like to hear from you all!

Day 23, Vienna (continued)

2007-10-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

Wonderful! I have some time to share more about what we did in Vienna! As soon as we got off the train we went to a pizza place and got some lunch. Its amazing how different service is here. The servers in these countries act like they are mad that you are eating at their restaurants. lol. But we had a nice lunch and then headed straight to Starbucks.... The main streets in Vienna are so crowded, it looked like downtown New York, with expensive shops and tons of people. After we passed the busiest streets we started getting into the beautiful architecture and sculptures! There were so many sculptures of roman mythology, and we even saw the ruins of a Roman Fortress. It is a very cultural city, with lots of arts. There were many street performances. After hours of sightseeing we started to head back, only to realize that we didn't know where we were. lol. After about an hour of wandering around we managed to make our way back to the train station just in time to eat some gyros and hop on board.

Day 23, Vienna

2007-10-14T02:26:00.001-07:00

I returned from Vienna late last night. The first thing the nine of us did was find the closest Starbucks. lol. Little comforts from home go a long way. While in Starbucks I struck up a conversation with a guy that sat at a table next to mine. We talked a little bit about the city and where he was from. I asked for his e-mail address so I could contact him in the future and noticed a small tattoo of the Masons on his wrist. I asked him about it and we talked a little bit about religion and the Masons. He seems like an open guy, and I think I will continue to talk to him....

My trainride home was an interesting one. I had 2hr 45min to spend on the train, and I knew most of the people would be sleeping, so I decided to separate myself from the group and really seek the Lord for that time. I went to the dining cabin (which was really nice and very quiet since no one else was there), ordered a drink, and began to record in my journal all that had happened that day. I had expectations for this time. I stopped writing, and began to pray. I prayed for about an hour, and then stopped and listened for His voice for about 20 minutes.....and heard nothing. I prayed again that whatever was standing in-between me and Him would be removed so I could hear Him, and still nothing.

Confused, I wondered what it would take to hear God. I looked up and saw a book I have been reading through, Is That Really You God? by Loren Cunningham sitting on the table infront of me. The subtitle said "Hearing the Voice of God". Sparked with interest, I opened up the book and picked up where I had left off, hoping that it wasn't a coincidence that I happened to have this book infront of me during a time when I was trying to hear the Lord. After reading for a while....nothing. I heard nothing....

Frustrated, I decided to go another route, I stopped praying and reading the book and remembered that sometimes God speaks to us through His word. I prayed a short prayer that He would speak to me through His word as I read, then opened my Bible and began slowly reading through Romans 12-15. Afterwards, still I heard nothing..... Our arrival in Budapest was approaching, and I paid the server on my way back to my cabin. I was a little disappointed, but still determined to hear Him.

When we got home late at night, I hopped on my laptop and read a couple e-mails. I heard three knocks on the glass door next to me....but no one was there, and my roommate didnt hear anything. I shrugged it off, but then immediately thought, "What if that was God trying to get your attention." I stood up and walked out into the freezing weather in my t-shirt and bare feet, i look around for a second and then walked about 15 meters towards the back of the yard, kneeled down, and listened...hoping to hear Him. After about a minute of silence, I heard a car horn sound twice on the other side of the house, thinking this could possibly be the Lord trying to get my attention again I hurried around the other side of the house to find.......nothing at all. Feeling a little awkward and confused I walked back in to my computer, shut it down and went to bed, wondering why I had done all that.

As I sit here this morning, looking back at the events last night, I think God is beginning to show me how hungry I am to hear His word and guidance, and how sometimes I will need to step out into the "illogical" places and situations to hear Him. I think there is more to the events last night that God will show me. I have this feeling that I just went through a training phase, and God is preparing me for something that I have no knowledge about yet.....

I'm going to get my day started here, and do some homework that is due tonight. Hopefully I can get back here and tell you all more about the time in Vienna, and possibly an overview of what I learned this week.

Day 21, Budapest

2007-10-12T23:25:00.000-07:00

We finished our week of evangelism lecture. I was so impressed with the way Adam presented evangelism.

Coffe House was last night, and it was packed. Some of the people from the street outreach came! Afterwards some of us went to get gyros and hung out. I'll tell you guys a little bit more about the Coffee House outreach later.

I was able to call some of you last night! I still dont miss home though, lol. It was great talking to you guys.

I would like to give you guys an overview of the teaching this week, and I might do that Sunday, but right now I'm rushing out of the house to catch the next train to Vienna Austria, where I will spend my weekend. I love hearing from you guys, and I'll post soon

Day 20, Budapest

2007-10-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

Today our lecture was on evangelism. It was one of the best ones I have ever heard. The speaker, Adam (something), really spread out the skeleton of sharing the gospel, and then went back and added the flesh to his lecture. Really really good stuff. After lecture we had lunch together and then went out for street outreach. At a busy intersection we set up speakers and mics and me and the other guys played worship songs to draw crowds. I played the mandolin, Jarrod and Ruslan played the guitar, and Chris played percussion. It sounded really good! A large crowd gathered and the rest of the group worked through the crowd sharing the gospel. After a few songs, one guy shared his testimony, then we had some preaching and call to accept Christ, then repeated everything three times. Play, testimony, preaching (x3).

One of the girls handed a man a flyer that invited him to coffee house on Friday (it was in Hungarian). He said he didnt speak Hungarian, and that opened up an opportunity to speak with him. Through the conversation we found out that he was a Muslim, and we were able to share the gospel with him and he asked for a Bible so that he could read it. One of the guys gave him his Bible and he said that he wanted to come to coffee house tomorrow. I cant wait to hear the rest of the stories from the group.

I leave for Vienna this weekend, so pray that those of us who go wont have any problems while we are gone.

Pray that the Muslim who asked for the Bible today reads it and realizes that Jesus Christ is the real Lord and Savior, and that he comes to coffee house so we can continue to share with him.

Day 19, Budapest

2007-10-10T06:24:00.000-07:00

So we stayed up and prayed through the night for the Muslims during their night of prayer. Im worn out today, but i believe it was worth it. God has been really working in me on my prayer life. I would get bored after a few minutes of prayer, but slowly God is giving me a heart for intercession, something that I really disliked before.

This morning we went into the city and had intercession around a Muslim mosque. We had to break into teams or three or four, and casually walk around to different areas to pray for the muslims, because they are a little hostile here, and we could be in danger if we weren't careful. One of the things God put on my heart for these people is their pride and hardness of heart. They are a proud religion, completely resistant to any belief but their own, and God put it on my heart that I was the one to pray against that spirit of pride, that spirit of resistance and hardness because i was familiar with that spirit in my own life before. It was an annointed time of intercession.

There are several things the Lord is doing in my heart and our work here. I can't wait to share it with you all.

Please pray: For group unity, that God would continue to break the bonds and shine truth into all the lies I have believed to be true, that He would bring people with open hearts to English Club so that we will have conversations that will come back to Him. Finances, both personally and for the base here. The leaders here stepped out in faith to buy a facility instead of renting one and need about 13,000 dollars (2 million forint) for the down-payment.

Day 18, Budapest

2007-10-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to pop in and write to you guys about tonight.

Tonight is the Muslim's Ramadan Night of Power. The Quran teaches that Jews and Christians are corrupted peoples not to be trusted. Because Islam is imperialistic and non-Muslims are a bulwark against its advance, Islam requires that they be converted, subjugated, or eliminated. This is why Islam is such a powerful source of conflict and religious persecution. The "Night of power" is when Muslims believe the gates of heaven are opened and Allah is especially merciful and attentive to their prayers. Traditionally it falls in the last 10 days of Ramadan, but is most widely believed to be the night of the 27th day of Ramadan, which is Tuesday 9 October (2007). Millions of Muslims around the world will stay awake through the Night of Power, seeking divine mercy.

Tonight i believe God has asked me to stay up and pray for these Muslims. I will be praying that the true God of salvation and mercy will reveal Himself to them in answerto their prayers. Pray that i have the strength to stay awake to pray for these Muslims around the world.

Day 17, Budapest

2007-10-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

That previous post is really from the first week, I just moved it from another blog. The team is gelling together really well. Its amazing all of the different talents and gifts God has brought together to make up this team.

The title of the second week was "The Exchanged Life" taught by Hal and Brenda Young.

They started off with establishing God's greatest purpose for His children. This was a great lesson to go over after spending a week talking about God's glory. Common answers we had were: To serve Him, to obey Him, to love Him, and to glorify Him.... all great answers.

In all of those answers, there can be something that hinders those purposes, and thats our flesh.

The flesh hinders the expression of Christ's Life through us.

We spent the week looking at what God says about our flesh, and also what He says about grace. To prepare us for evangelism, we were also taught the false "Traditional Religious View" of the flesh and the whole "I'm saved by grace, but still evil" and "As I follow Jesus I get better" ideas.

On the grace subject Hal started with teaching us about sin. He used a few points to contrast how we WERE, and who we ARE now.

Since we were all in Adam, when he:

1. Sinned, we sinned. "Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the
world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned" (Romans 5:12b)

2. Died spiritually, we died spiritually and were left to our own resources "But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man's offense many died, much more the grace of God an the gift by the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ abounds to many." (Romans 5:15)

3. Was condemned, we were condemned "Therefore, as through one man's offense judgement came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man's righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life" (Romans 5:18)

4. Became a sinner, we became sinners "For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous" (Romans 5:19)

That was when we were IN Adam. Now we are in Christ, and something took place....

"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive" (1 Corinthians 15:22)

At salvation, God took us spiritually out of Adam and placed us into Christ. We participated literally in Christ's death, burial, resurrection, ascension and seating at the right hand of the Father. Our "old self" (old man) was out unregenerate human spirit, and now we have a choice. We can live in our strength, or we can give up on our fleshly efforts and allow Christ to live through us.

What an amazing concept to finally get down. There is a differance between being saved from my sin, and being saved from my self/flesh. I couldn't possibly cram everything I have learned last week in this blog, so I wont try.

I am finally getting used to the city. There are so many buses, trams, and metros flying around to different places in the city, it can get confusing. I feel like such a tourist at times. I'll see this amazingly beautiful building with all kinds of stonework and art and think, "Man! That must be an important building! What is that!?" only to find out its just apartments or something like that.

One thing that really stands out to us is the oppression that blankets the land here. I dont think i have seen a single Hungarian smile in the city. They seem to have a bitterness, a coldness binding them. I am told it is from the communist wars that constantly held them in bondage. The spirit of oppression is something that is tugging at my heart. If anything I want God to use us to bring light back into their lives. They dont even understand the hungarian word for "Hope"....if you ask them if they have hope, they say yes....but then when you say "Oh, so you believe things will get better?" they always say "OH! No! Things will never change around here" Im interested to see how God will use us to bring hope back to Budapest.

Well, this post is getting pretty long, so I'll cut it off for now. Hopefully I can post soon about how things are progressing with the outreach part of the school.

I love you guys and I am praying for you. Thank you so much for your help in sending me to these people, they need to know the love of God so bad. Its a long battle, and we are just getting started, so keep praying.

Day 9, Budapest

2007-10-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

With the first week behind me I finally have time to make a post! It has been a crazy week, but already the team is gelling amazingly. Its humbling to watch how perfectly God can bring the right people to a group. There are 21 of us living in the house, with only 6 guys. The London airport lost my luggage, so I wore the same wonderful clothes for three days….fun fun.

I was told that we weren’t going to have the normal first week because of scheduling problems, so instead of having a full week or orientation, we would have a full week of lectures AND orientation. Heh, nice. But it was actually amazing how perfectly God put the pieces of the puzzle together. The speaker, Don Stephens, started off the school with a week of lectures about God’s glory and how we view the world and the Kingdom. It couldn’t have fit more perfectly.
We always hear "Do everything unto the glory of God" which we take to mean "Just do the things you hate and act like you enjoy it". We think this because we dont have an understanding of what Gods glory is. We follow a God that we have never seen before, so what does His glory look like? How can you follow someone that you have never seen? Its because His glory is reflected in us, in creation. It is the reflection of Gods glory in sunsets that draws us to watch them, its everything that is beautiful. Humans are hardwired to be drawn to Gods glory when we see it, even the unbelievers. Its why people love to see a father and a son settle their differences, its why people love to hear an orchestra play, its why we love playing with babies, or look at the clouds or stars. These things are the core of any good movie. Good reigns over evil because it reflects God, the prince always defeats the dragon and sweeps the damsel off her feet because this is God! Bell penetrates the heart of the Beast and he is transformed into the man he was created to be, Frodo destroys the ring and brings peace to middle earth. Nicholas Sparks books are so popular because the love stories reflect the beauty of God. Any good movie has a good ending that reflects God’s glory. If the bad guy ever wins at the end of the movie, or the prince doesn’t end up with the princess, or the father and son aren’t reunited, we say, “It was an okay movie, but the ending wasn’t good” This is because we know how the story is supposed to go, we know what God’s Glory looks like, and when they story doesn’t go like we KNOW it is supposed to go, something in us stirs and says, “That’s not how the story goes….” We are hardwired to know what God’s glory looks like, and when it is altered or marred…we notice it.

Its because God is invisible, and its through what we can see here on earth that He is revealed. God's glory is his invisible nature reflected in the visible.

There is a huge battle against Gods glory, and this is where we see so many religions fighting. Imagine it this way. Say you were about to get married, some guy promised you he would marry you, and then went away for a month and your friend told you that he went off and got married to another girl. All chances of you being with him are completely gone, so what would you do? Burn his pictures, letters, anything you have of his that will remind you of him because you cant be together and it pains you to remember him. Well when Satan rebelled against God and was thrown from His presence, he lost all chances of ever being in His presence again, and this is why Satan tries to destroy everything that is beautiful. He is surrounded by things that reflect God, he cant escape it, its all over creation. The glory of God is visible for everyone to see and Satan HATES it! This is why Muslim women are forced to cover themselves from head to toe in black so you can only see a little bit of their eyes, this is why pornography is a billion dollar industry, this is why the media is getting bad. Satan is trying to destroy everything that reminds him of God. This is why the church of Christ doesn’t use instruments, etc, it goes on and on.

Back to the "Do everything unto the glory of God" thing. Its usually used when we are talking about work, but it says EVERYTHING. But i'll talk about the work part. God loves creativity, order, color, music, etc. He is a God of beauty. A clean room is more beautiful than a dirty room, a cut lawn is more beautiful than an overgrown lawn, a submissive wife reflects God more than a rebellious wife, a giving person more than a selfish person, a forgiving person more than an unforgiving person, a gentle loving suggestion than a short harsh yell, etc. These all represent God better than the latter. This is what it means to do something unto the glory of God. Reflect God in the best way possible in every area of your life.

Don Stephens packed so much in this short week, I’m sure I’ll be feasting on it for a while now.

God is moving through our work. There are several outreaches in the city we are doing, music, dramas, dances, street evangelism, coffee bars, English clubs, and others. We are about to go out into the city to have some fun now, so I gotta run. I’ll keep you all posted.

In Him